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Resurrection

Page 128

"Katusha, I have come to ask you to forgive me, and you have

given me no answer. Have you forgiven me? Will you ever forgive

me?" he asked.

She did not listen to him, but looked at his hand and at the

inspector, and when the latter turned she hastily stretched out

her hand, grasped the note, and hid it under her belt.

"That's odd, what you are saying there," she said, with a smile

of contempt, as it seemed to him.

Nekhludoff felt that there was in her soul one who was his enemy

and who was protecting her, such as she was now, and preventing

him from getting at her heart. But, strange to say, this did not

repel him, but drew him nearer to her by some fresh, peculiar

power. He knew that he must waken her soul, that this was

terribly difficult, but the very difficulty attracted him. He now

felt towards her as he had never felt towards her or any one else

before. There was nothing personal in this feeling: he wanted

nothing from her for himself, but only wished that she might not

remain as she now was, that she might awaken and become again

what she had been.

"Katusha, why do you speak like that? I know you; I remember

you--and the old days in Papovo."

"What's the use of recalling what's past?" she remarked, drily.

"I am recalling it in order to put it right, to atone for my sin,

Katusha," and he was going to say that he would marry her, but,

meeting her eyes, he read in them something so dreadful, so

coarse, so repellent, that he could not go on.

At this moment the visitors began to go. The inspector came up to

Nekhludoff and said that the time was up.

"Good-bye; I have still much to say to you, but you see it is

impossible to do so now," said Nekhludoff, and held out his hand.

"I shall come again."

"I think you have said all."

She took his hand but did not press it.

"No; I shall try to see you again, somewhere where we can talk,

and then I shall tell you what I have to say-something very

important."

"Well, then, come; why not?" she answered, and smiled with that

habitual, inviting, and promising smile which she gave to the men

whom she wished to please.

"You are more than a sister to me," said Nekhludoff.

"That's odd," she said again, and went behind the grating.

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