Rebel Heart

You ain’t wrong, says Slim.

I grab Molly’s arm. Molly, I says, please, why’d you say you thought Jack was with me?

He said he was goin after you, she says. When he came to tell me about Ike. He was gonna go meet you. You was headed west, right?

When did you see him? I says. How long ago?

I . . . I dunno, she says. A couple months, I guess, I—

Molly! C’mon! I give her a shake. This is important!

As I shake her, her headscarf starts to slip back from her forehead. I can see the pink, raised ridges of a wound startin to heal. I slide it off.

She’s bin branded. Right in the middle of her forehead.

W.

I know it from Hopetown. The painted ladies an boys of Paradise Lane who’d lie down with a stranger fer chaal or hooch or a handful of beads. That’s how the Tonton marked ’em.

W.

Whore.

We sit on upturned boxes an such beside the Cosmic. A tin barrel of Molly’s wormwood whisky survived bein blown in the sky. We all take a drink, even Emmi. It’s killer hooch, worser’n Ike’s pine sap vodka, an that was enough to blind you. It slices down my gullet like white pain.

How many of ’em? I says to Molly.

Two, she says.

Tonton, says Maev.

Molly nods. There warn’t nobody in the tavern but me an Jack. After he told me about Ike, I – Jack’s th’only person I know who’d travel so far to deliver bad news. I don’t think I could of stood it if it was anybody else but him.

We’re silent. I only jest met Molly. I don’t know her, but we’re bound together, her an me, through Jack an Ike. My heart cleaves to hers. It hurts on her account.

I told him not to, she says, but he stuck around to make sure I was okay. Then these two showed up. Tonton. Jack bein Jack, he . . . tried to talk us outta trouble but . . . two of them, one of him . . . they beat him pretty bad.

They beat him, I says. My skin runs hot an cold as I picture it.

Yeah, she says. Then, uh . . . one of ’em stayed with him while . . . uh . . . while the other one, uh—

Tears suddenly fill her eyes, spill down her cheeks. Sorry, she says, scrubbin at ’em. Afterwards, they branded me.

Emmi jumps up. Goes over an hugs her. Don’t cry, Molly, she says. It’s okay. We’re here now.

Emmi don’t unnerstand. She’s too little. Molly’s pain, so heavy, so thick, fills the air till I cain’t hardly breathe. I glance at Maev, tears in my eyes. She’s starin at Molly, her jaw set.

Slim’s sat next to Molly, holdin her hand, squeezin it from time to time. Nuthin could ever ruin yer beauty, he says. He kisses her forehead, right on the dreadful brand.

She gasps a tearful little laugh. Yer such a liar, she says. Such a kind, dear liar. She wraps the scarf around her head agin an starts to tie it. After they left, she says, I . . . I jest wanted to be alone. She looks at me. I told Jack to go after you, she says. To follow his heart. I made him swear.

What did he say? I whisper.

He promised he would, she says.

I ain’t seen him, I says.

Seems I was the last to see him, says Maev.

You? says Molly.

He gave her the heartstone to give to Saba, says Emmi.

An he jest happened to be ridin with the Tonton at the time, says Lugh.

What? says Molly. No. Jack would never ride with the Tonton. Never. I know him.

Maybe you don’t know him very well, says Lugh.

I know that I don’t like yer tone, she says. Jack is my friend. A very old, dear friend. I won’t hold with you sayin things about him that ain’t true.

Lugh looks away.

He was with ’em, Molly, says Maev. I seen him with my own eyes. Dressed like ’em an all.

They must of captured him, she says.

That’s what I say, I says.

He was free, says Maev, not fettered.

Molly frowns. Takes a long drink from her tin an pours herself another. She catches Tommo starin at her. He ain’t took his eyes offa her all this time.

What’s yer problem? she says.

You shouldn’t drink so much, he says.

What’s it to you what I do?

Ike wouldn’t like it, he says.

Whadda you know, anyways?

I’m Tommo, he says. Ike took me in. He talked about you. Told me about you. He said him an you an me . . . we’d be a family.

There ain’t no gawdamn family, she says. Ike’s dead.

He called me son, says Tommo.

Is that so? she says. Well, don’t look to me to call you son.

Hard words. Hurtful words. Tears start to Tommo’s eyes. They spill down his cheeks. He dashes ’em away an sets his jaw not to cry.

That was mean, I says.

Go to hell, says Molly. She’s drained her tin. She pours another.

You got no call talkin to Tommo like that, says Em.

Hush, Emmi, says Lugh.

I won’t hush, says Em. You ain’t th’only one who loved Ike. You ain’t th’only one who misses him. An it ain’t Tommo’s fault Ike got killed. He tried to save Ike. He loved him jest the same as you.

Molly’s starin into her mug. Not the same as me, she says. Not the gawdamn same as me! Her voice rises to a yell. She flings her mug wildly. We only jest duck in time.

Molly stops herself. She’s breathin high an fast. Fightin herself. Tryin not to fall apart. She gives us a tight little smile. I’m sorry, she says to Tommo. I had no right to speak to you like that.

He nods, not meetin her eyes.

Now what? says Maev.

Molly looks at Slim, nursin his shoulder, his face drawn with pain. We’ll go to Bram an Cassie’s, she says. Hide the weapons. We’ll git Slim fixed up proper an work out what to do next.

I ain’t goin nowhere, I says. Jack told me to meet him here an that’s what I’m gonna do.

That’s only what you think, says Lugh. You don’t know fer sure. What’re you gonna do, sit here all night? Wait fer him to turn up with the Tonton so he can hand you over?

Jack wouldn’t do that, says Molly.

Whether he would or not ain’t to the purpose, says Slim. Not at this precise moment, anyways. The point is, it ain’t safe to be here. Not fer Molly, not fer Saba, not fer none of us. We got four dead Stewards on our tab, not to mention one blowed-up causeway. If any of them Tonton lived to tell the tale, they’ll be lookin fer the Cosmic. Bram an Cassie run a safe house. That’s where we all need to be.

The Tonton only know about you, I says. You an the Cosmic. Not us.

Hey, says Maev, we wouldn’t be here without Slim. He took a hit fer us. Don’t that mean nuthin to you?

Okay, then, the rest of yuz go, I says. I’ll wait here fer Jack.

Yer faith in yer friend does you credit, says Slim. But I’ll tell you this. If he’s got hisself mixed up with the Tonton, he ain’t master of his own fate. You’ll serve him better by makin sure the same don’t happen to you.

You ain’t listenin, I says. He’s in trouble, he needs my help, that’s why he sent fer me. As I say it, I shoot a hard look at Lugh, darin him to bad-mouth Jack agin.

Even more reason to go to Bram’s, says Slim. He’ll know what’s best to do. He knows these parts. He knows the Tonton.

They all look at me, wait fer my answer. My gut tells me to dig in my heels. If it was only me I had to think of, I’d dig in, no question. But my heart an head tell me I got Maev an Tommo an Emmi an Lugh to consider. They’re in danger jest by bein here. Because of me. I look at Slim, wounded on my account. At Molly. Ike’s Molly.