Reason to Breathe

“We’ll see,” I replied with a teasing grin.

When we neared his house, a new anxiety revealed itself. My chest closed in around my lungs.

“Are you ready for this?” Evan asked, pulling into the driveway.

“Sure,” I exhaled, trying to force a composed smile. He laughed at my unsuccessful attempt.

Evan took my hand as we walked up the porch steps. I guess it didn’t matter to him that his parents saw us touching. This was going to be so strange.

“Emily, welcome,” Vivian greeted when we entered. She floated over to give me an embrace, I was finally prepared for, and I awkwardly returned the gesture.

An enticing aroma floated across the kitchen as we sat at the peninsula. I was still awed by Vivian’s grace as she glided around the cooking space, stirring, chopping and mixing. I’d always associated the setting with Evan, but tonight, Evan sat next to me and observed his mother on the other side, with his hand affectionately on my back.

“Do you want me to do anything?” he offered.

“No, we’re just about done,” she announced. “Your father’s removing the steaks from the grill, and I’m putting the salad together. Well, you could offer Emily something to drink.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” he fumbled, redirecting his attention to me. “What would you like to drink?”

“You know what I like,” I responded. A small grin appeared on his mother’s face with my response.

“I’m happy to see you’re feeling better,” she offered. “I understand you were rather ill last weekend.”

“Yes, but I’m feeling much better now. Thank you.”

“I hope the tea helped.”

“It did, thank you,” I replied politely, not recalling if I finished the cup. Evan tried to conceal his smile, probably realizing I hadn’t.

“Steaks are ready,” Stuart announced, walking through the door with a platter of small steaks.

“Perfect timing,” Vivian declared. “Everything is ready. Evan, dear, would you please help bring the food to the table?”

“Sure.” Evan found bowls and serving utensils to pair with the sides and carried them to the dining table. I hadn’t noticed the set table with decorative china and sparkling flatware until I turned to follow him. In the center, an intricate candelabrum let off a dazzling glow. I wasn’t prepared for the formal setting.

“Shall we?” Vivian addressed me as she walked toward the table carrying a bottle of wine.

I picked up my glass to follow her. She and Stuart sat on either end while Evan and I sat facing each other in the middle. Evan shot me a grin when we sat down. I gave him a panicked smile, which made him laugh. His mother looked at him, questioning his outburst. He attempted to conceal it with a clearing of his throat.

My stomach was twisting with nerves; I wasn’t sure how I was going to eat. I practically force fed myself every bite, despite the fact that is was one of the best meals I’d had since… well, since Evan cooked for me.

“How was your visit to California?” Vivian inquired the moment I put a piece of steak in my mouth. My face turned red as she patiently waited for me to swallow so I could answer.

“I loved it,” I finally responded.

“Are you still looking at Stanford as your first choice?”

“Yes, I really enjoyed the meetings with the coach and the advisor,” I explained. “It’s going to come down to my SAT scores and how I perform this coming soccer season. But so far, they seem very interested.”

“Have you decided on a major?”

“That did come up, and with my strong science and math background, the advisor mentioned pre-med.”

Evan’s eyes widened in surprise. Yeah, I hadn’t mentioned that to anyone before this moment.

“That would be wonderful,” she acknowledged with a smile. “Evan, have you narrowed down your selections yet?”

“Mom, let’s not do this,” he begged. “You know where I’m looking. My mother wants me to go to Cornell with my brother,” he explained to me, “and my father wants me to go to Yale like he did.”

“Oh,” I nodded, realizing both colleges were on the wrong coast.

“Well, I suppose California would make sense if Emily was there,” Vivian admitted with a slight rise of her shoulder. Stuart cleared his throat. “Stuart, California has some excellent schools.”

Hearing our future being planned before me was surreal. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a future with Evan. I honestly hadn’t thought much about it until this moment. However, listening to his mother plan our future, didn’t feel quite right.

“Mom,” Evan stressed, obviously just as uncomfortable, “we have plenty of time to talk about it. Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

“If you insist,” she agreed with an endearing smile. “Are you looking forward to going to the prom next month?”

Evan choked on his water. I stopped breathing.

“What?” she questioned Evan’s obvious disruption.

“We haven’t exactly talked about it yet,” he confessed, glancing at me apologetically. I looked down at my plate and moved the asparagus around with my fork.

“Evan,” she scolded, “she needs time to pick out a dress. You should have asked her already.”

I bit my lip trying not to smile.

“Well, if you would like some assistance in finding a dress,” she directed her attention to me, “I would be happy to take you to this fabulous boutique in New York.”

“Okay, thank you,” I stuttered. Evan tensed at the offer. The thought of it horrified me. I could barely survive shopping with Sara at the mall.

“Since I seem to be suggesting the wrong conversational topics,” Vivian declared, directing her words towards Evan, “what would you like to talk about?”

Evan looked up, recognizing she was addressing him.

“Dad, how’s work?” he asked quickly. Vivian let out an exasperated sigh.

“Emily does not need to hear about his tedious cases,” Vivian interrupted before Stuart could open his mouth. I wasn’t sure if Stuart actually intended to open his mouth. “We’re supposed to be getting to know her.” No, that’s not a good idea either.

She offered me a warm smile, which I attempted to return. My stomach churned in anticipation of her impending question.

“What does your uncle do?” she asked politely.

I swallowed hard. We were really going to talk about my family, weren’t we?

“He’s a land surveyor.”

“That’s wonderful,” she replied. “I understand that your father passed away when you were young. What did he do?”

Evan gave me a worried glance. I took a breath and replied, “He was an engineer for an architectural firm in Boston.”

“Mom, aren’t you working on a charity event in Boston?” Evan intercepted before his mother could ask another revealing question.

Vivian beamed at the chance to talk about one of her projects. Thankfully, she went into enough detail about the event that the conversation lasted for the remainder of dinner.

“You and Evan should attend it with us,” she decided as she set the dessert in front of us. Evan grumbled, not hiding his distaste of the invitation. “Evan, stop that. It’s a wonderful cause and you’ll be able to meet so many people in the medical industry since it’s for the hospital.”

“When did you say it was?” I inquired.

“The middle of June.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied, trying to sound disappointed. “I’ll be away at the soccer camp by then.”

“Evan, is that the camp you applied for, as well?”

I turned toward Evan, unaware that he had applied.

“Oh, yeah,” he answered, meeting my questioning eyes. “Sara gave me the application a few weeks ago. But, I’m not sure if they have a spot open.”

The thought of spending the summer with Sara and Evan produced a glowing grin. Evan smiled in response to my radiant expression. Vivian asked me to explain the camp while we ate dessert, which was finally an easy topic, having been an assistant coach there for the past two summers.

After dessert, Vivian excused us and escorted me to the sitting room. Evan warily watched us leave while he and his father cleaned up the dishes. When he eventually joined us, I knew why.

“You are not showing her my baby pictures!” He sounded horrified, which made me laugh.

“Come on, Evan,” I teased with a laughing smile, “you were adorable.”

“I know,” Vivian acknowledged, not understanding his reaction.

“Okay,” he announced, “I think you’ve had her long enough.”

Evan closed the photo book that was in my lap and placed it on the table. He held out his hand to take me away.

“We’re going to the barn before I have to drive her home.”

“I suppose,” Vivian said with a sigh. “It was so nice to finally get to talk with you.” She gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. “I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Good night,” I said to Stuart as Evan led me through the kitchen.

“Good night, Emily,” Stuart’s bold voice returned.

“Was it that horrible for you?” I laughed while we climbed the stairs.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Evan returned. When we entered the room, he turned to face me, looking all too serious. “I’m sorry about that. I tried to give her boundaries, but she doesn’t listen very well.”

“It was fine,” I assured him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me gently.

“You’re birthday’s in a couple of weeks,” I said, looking up at him from within his wrap. “What would you like to do?”

“Will you be able to do anything on the Friday of my actual birthday?”

I sucked in air through my teeth and shook my head apologetically. “Saturday?” I offered.

“Okay,” he agreed. “So, I’ll do something with the guys on Friday. Maybe go to the city or something. Then Saturday’s just you and me.”

“Dinner?” I suggested. Evan considered my offer, then smirked.

“Yeah,” he said, grinning. “I have an idea.”

“I’m missing something.” I was mystified by the look in his eye. I knew he was contriving a plan that he wasn’t sharing.

“No,” he said quickly. “Dinner is perfect. But can I choose?”

“Sure,” I agreed slowly, still not trusting his reaction.

Carol and George were waiting for me when I returned home. Well, they pretended to be sitting at the island talking, but I was pretty sure they wanted to see if Evan would walk me to the door. I was so glad I’d convinced him not to, even when he tried to change my mind on the drive home.

“How was your night?” Carol inquired, with an edge to her tone.

“It was nice,” I responded quietly, trying to continue to my room.

“We need to lay down some ground rules,” George declared, making me stop and close my eyes. I turned to listen to their determination to destroy my world even more.