Reap

Reaching the door that led to the beach, I pushed on the wood until the door broke off its frame. Cold air slapped against my bare chest, but I ignored it all to run out into the night.

I ran and ran until grass gave way to the wood of the dock. I ran until the wood ran out and gave way to the freezing cold sand. I tried to run on, but my legs gave out. As my knees hit the soft sand, I threw my head back and screamed. I screamed for my family. I screamed for my brother dying in a cage, and I screamed with the venom flooding my veins for Jakhua.

He would die.

I would slaughter him.

I would honor my family by slitting his motherfucking throat.

When there was nothing left inside of me, my hands fell forward, plunging into the soft sand. Tears poured from my eyes. The icy wind whipped my hair around my face and clung to my bare skin. But I was beyond caring.

I was empty.

Light footsteps sounded on the dock. They were running. Then they stopped. I felt her behind me. I knew who would be there.

A Tolstoi, Tolstoi, the enemy that stole my heart, made me human again.

Feeling drained, I staggered to my feet. I looked out onto the thrashing sea, its waves rolling and crashing on the shore. I breathed in the salty air, then noticed crying from behind me.

On a deep breath, I turned. I immediately froze. Talia stood on the edge of the dock, watching me. Her long blond hair blew to the side in the wind, her body covered in black clothes.

Her dark eyes watched mine, an agonized expression on her face.

Talia Tolstaia. My Talia Tolstaia.

I tried to find hate. I tried to despise.

I found only warmth.

It was her warmth. She was mine.

She had cleansed me. Cared for me. Cried for me. She was … for me.

Salty tears dropped down my cheeks. My heart squeezed tight. She was in my heart. The feel of her hand as it lay in mine. Her warmth, her smile, her touch.

My heart was in the enemy’s hands. Betrayal of my family brought me to my knees. I had nothing left to give.

“Zaal!” Talia cried suddenly, her cracked and broken voice carrying off in the wind. I looked up as Talia ran onto the sand, her legs bringing her toward me.

Her chest heaved. Her hands shook. She staggered to a halt and stared intently into my eyes.

She was in pain. As much pain as I felt.

She was like me. No, she was a part of me.

Talia stood, watching me. She was as still as a statue. My mind told me it was wrong. My memories told me it was wrong. But in my heart, it felt right.

I needed her.

I needed my Talia.

Pushing myself to stand, I watched Talia brace for my wrath, her arms rising in defense. I took a step forward. Even above the strong wind, I heard her breathing hitch. I saw her body flinch. I lifted my head. Our gazes met. Talia’s lips parted. I took another step forward. Talia tensed, then I dropped to my knees and threw my arms around her waist.

I held her tight. As tight as I could without hurting her. My cheek pressed against her stomach. I could hear her heart pounding. A feeling so consuming built in my stomach, and then unable to hold it back, it ripped from my throat.

I was crying.

Releasing all the pain I’d just been hit with. All the pain from the memories muddying my mind, I fell apart on this sand. I clutched on to Talia, like I couldn’t get close enough. My chest ached with everything pouring from my soul, then instantly spreading me with warmth, Talia’s arms wrapped around my head, drawing me closer to her soft body.

I could feel her crying, too; shaking, sharing my pain. Then Talia dropped to her knees. My chest hit the cold sand, as my head rested in her lap. I shuddered with the severity of my sobs. I released twenty years of grief that had been trapped inside my mind.

And Talia cradled my head, she rocked me back and forth, she stroked her hand through my hair.

She did not speak, just sat there with me. A Tolstoi comforting a Kostava.

After I didn’t know how long, my tears ran dry and a raw, blistering ache throbbed in my chest. Talia’s hands slowed on my head. The strong wind died down. I could hear Talia breathing and I took a deep breath.

Unclasping my hands from her back, I placed them on the sand and forced myself to my knees. My hair covered my face as my swollen eyes stared at the sand.

Talia was silent.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head. Talia’s face was so sad, so hurt. It shattered any contempt I had left within me.

Talia lowered her head and said, “I should have told you.”

When I didn’t say anything in response, she raised her head. Immediately I noticed the necklace was gone. A tear dropped in the place it used to be. I looked into her eyes. “I tried to hate you.” She sniffed, and I stilled at her words. Her shoulders sagged and defeat seized her body. “But I couldn’t,” she confided in a whisper. “I couldn’t hate you. In fact I was obsessed and then it turned to something deeper. I committed the ultimate of all sins.”