Real Vampires Know Size Matters (Glory St. Clair #10)

“As a heart attack. She’s got years to go to pay off Ian unless she comes into some big bucks.” I looked around my crowded place. Aggie wasn’t the only one who needed big bucks. Worn chairs, drapes, kitchen table. I’d given up on an area rug after Boogie had upchucked his fifth hair ball. Since my last fledgling vampire, Penny, had left her cat with me, I’d learned to deal with having a few kitty calamities. Any way you looked at it, compared to Lily’s new place, mine was a dump.

“Don’t audition anywhere else yet, Aggie. I’m going to see what I can arrange. We pay our backup singers pretty well. You could probably give this Ian whatever he says you’re working off each week and still have money left over.” Sienna laughed when Aggie lunged, throwing her arms around her.

“Honey, you have no idea how desperate I am to be free of that egomaniac.” Aggie pushed back, tears in her eyes. “I never see him anymore, thank the goddess. Instead, he leaves me lists of things he says I do wrong every day. He wants his towels folded a certain way. I should bleach his jockey shorts.” She got an evil grin. “Did that, even his black silk ones.”

“Bet he loved that.” I had to admit that Ian could be a real bastard.

“The latest list told me to scrub the grout in his bathroom with a toothbrush. If I did, it would be with the one he uses on his own stupid fangs.” Aggie danced around the room, singing a song she must have made up on the spot. It featured four-letter words and invited Ian to shove his lists.

“I guess we’d better make this happen then. And won’t it be fun, singing together?” Sienna put her hand on Rafe’s when he set her guitar in its case. “Do you mind bringing that along? We may do an acoustic number. Though how Ray and I can still go on together when I don’t want to see or speak to that bastard ever again is beyond me.”

“Contract, Sienna.” Rafe carried the guitar to the door. “Let’s go, ladies. Glory, you got what you need?”

I grabbed my purse then at the last minute shoved the voodoo book and my computer into a tote and brought them along. If I had time, I’d like to get started on that list of ingredients. Even if I didn’t have to worry about Mel coming after me, a stay-away potion could help Jerry. I wanted it. And maybe one of my staff would be able to help. With ancient shifters you never knew what kind of connections they had.

“Okay, I’m ready.” I locked the door with my new key. A locksmith had changed the locks during the day, thanks to Jerry. He had a shifter who arranged such things for him. I’d have to pack when we got back, before sunrise. The idea of that peace and quiet upstairs put a smile on my face despite the fact that Aggie and Sienna started bickering on the way down about which musical group they thought had the best sound.

“You guys are arguing about the wrong decade.” Rafe put in his two cents. He named bands from the sixties, some of which were still playing. This set off Sienna, who had strong opinions, and the commotion was pretty loud by the time we stepped into the alley. Rafe came to an abrupt halt, his arm out like he was ready to shove us all back into the building.

“What?” Sienna peered around him. “Paparazzi?”

“No. Something much worse. Use one of your new vampire senses and take a whiff.” He set her guitar down inside the hallway and motioned us back. “What do you smell?”

“Candy?” She sniffed and made a face. “But there’s something off. Did the muffin shop burn a batch?”

“Damn, is she here?” I had already ruled out the zombies. Aggie and Sienna scurried out of the way when I stepped to Rafe’s side. “That’s the smell of evil. Memorize it, Sienna. You and Aggie stay in here until we give you the all clear. I mean it. Do not come out. This is serious.” I glared at both of them.

“I get it. Voooodoooo.” Aggie shook her hands in the air. “Go. Run her off. I know I’m not interested in tangling with a psycho bitch.” Aggie pulled on Sienna’s sleeve. “Come on back upstairs. Glory, call us on your cell when we can safely come down again.”

“Sure.” Sienna snatched up her guitar. “Take care of yourselves, you two.” She patted my back, gave Rafe a worried look, then rushed back up the stairs after Aggie. “Hey, wait up. I’m no hero either.”

“Good. Now follow them, Glory.” Rafe grabbed my arm and tried to ease me back inside.

“Not on your life. This is my fight. If she’s planning an ambush, it’s for me. I’m dying to hear what she has to say.” I brushed past him, firmly taking his hand off of me. “Come out, come out, wherever you are.” I taunted her and why not? I wasn’t convinced I couldn’t take Mel in a fair fight.

“Careful, Glory. I’m reading your mind. Just what makes you think this woman’s into fighting fair?” Rafe stayed close, his eyes narrowed as he scanned the dark alley. The lights were out again.

“Who’s this with you, Gloriana? Moving on already?” Mel stepped out of the darkness. No business suit tonight. Instead she wore a black silk outfit that flowed loosely around her body. A dozen necklaces sparkled in the dim moonlight. I thought I saw a bone dangling from one of them. Or was it a tooth? Did those things help her with her powers? Maybe I’d rip them all off and find out.

“That’s my business, Melisandra. What do you want? Seems like you’ve caused enough trouble around here already. Time to hit the road and go back where you came from.” I grabbed Rafe’s arm. We were supposed to be a couple now. Might as well start acting like one.

“I can’t do that. I have obligations. And one of them is to make you pay for hurting Jeremiah.” She stretched her long fingers toward me and I saw her creepy dead people come out to play again. Spirits, I guess you’d call them. The tiny wisps of howling creatures flew up from her fingertips to gather in a circle above her head.

“You think I hurt Jerry? What are you smoking, lady?” I let her see my fangs. I had to remind myself of the part I was supposed to play. “He hurt me, but he won’t ever again. I’ve had it with Jeremiah Campbell and his lies. As if the Jerry I know ever had to be drugged to have sex with a woman.” I brushed off my sleeve, the picture of Don’t give a damn. Mel’s face had hardened. Good, my shot had hit the target.

“Is that what he told you?” She managed to sound outraged. Nice try.

“Forget what he told me.” I snuggled up to Rafe. “I’ve got a man now who I know won’t cheat on me. Rafe and I have a history and now we’re back together for good. Isn’t that right, baby?” I didn’t give Rafe a chance to answer before I planted a big kiss on him to show Mel I was serious. Rafe cooperated, but I could feel the tension in his body, the way his bicep flexed where I held his arm. He was still on high alert, obviously worried about the woman standing a few feet away with her ghosts and ghouls doing an aerial ballet above her head. I had a feeling they were waiting for orders.

I pulled back and quirked an eyebrow at Mel. “Still here? Why? Jeremiah’s all yours. If you’re sure you want him. But if my man ran around claiming he only had sex with me because I drugged him?” I put a hand on my hip. “Well, I can’t tell you how fast I’d kick him to the curb.” I gave her a look, up and down. “Oh. But maybe you did have to resort to a little help in that department. Seriously? Slip a little something into his blood last night, Mel?”

Mel’s hands shook and her creatures became more agitated. “Shut the hell up. Of course I didn’t have to drug Jeremiah. He’s crazy about me.” She laughed suddenly, her scarlet mouth reminding me of the silent scream in the mural Flo had painted on my wall inside the shop. Insanity lurked in her eyes. Oh, yeah, this woman knew crazy all right.

“If you did drug him, that would make you pretty damned pathetic, wouldn’t it? Desperate.” I couldn’t resist. “Jerry begged me to take him back last night. Hands and knees, the whole nine yards. Even brought out an engagement ring. Now, that was pathetic.”

Mel’s eyes flashed, the spirits above her flinging themselves into a chaotic circle dance. “Liar. Jeremiah would never demean himself that way. Now who’s pathetic?” She smiled, her teeth very white and even. “Does it sting to know that if you’d truly satisfied him he never would have turned to me in the first place, Gloriana?”

I tensed, desperate to throw myself at her. Rafe’s strong arm clamped around my waist, holding me back.

“Jeremiah says my blood is like fine wine. He can’t get enough of it.” She waved her arms, clearly in the middle of building her own fantasy.

I pulled myself back from the brink of joining her in Crazyland, happy to burst her bubble. “He’s a vampire, Mel. Get a clue. We suck mortal blood to survive. The man would build you a temple and worship you like a goddess if it would get him a bite at your vein, honey.” And didn’t I hate that fact. My don’t-give-a-damn attitude was wearing thin. At least Mel didn’t look too happy either. “If Jerry’s so into you, where is he? Why isn’t he with you now?”

The ghosts and ghoulies above Mel went wild, screaming as they darted around like lightning bugs on speed. Her dark hair rose, a nimbus around her head. The freakish squeals became so high-pitched that I wanted to cover my ears.

“That’s enough.” Rafe started forward.

“No, leave her alone, lover. I can take it.” I kept a hand on his arm, willing him to stay safe. “Hear her howls of pain? Lost him, didn’t you, Mel?” It was my turn to laugh and I managed a pretty good one.

Mel’s eyes blazed and her creatures paused in mid-screech. “Last night we made love, Gloriana. Jeremiah and I. It was incredible. I’m sure he’ll be back.” She raised her hands and we were rushed, those ghostie things suddenly tearing at my flesh. Rafe cursed and lunged at her. I touched his back, turning him to stone. I knew he’d hate that, but I didn’t want him getting into it with a voodoo woman.