Real Vampires Know Size Matters (Glory St. Clair #10)

“I love you, Jeremiah.” I snuggled against his shoulder.

“And I love you, Gloriana. Will you forgive me?” He kissed my wet hair.

“What did you do? That bitch tricked you. Scared the hell out of you with her mind games. Let’s forget it ever happened. We need to plan what we’ll do next. I’m going to try to use voodoo against her. I’ve even got a book coming, with a recipe for a potion in it.”

“You think you can cook up something to send her away?” His voice was skeptical. “Since when do you know voodoo?”

“I called an expert. Hang loose for a few days. Avoid her and let’s wait for the book.” I rubbed my hand over his chest, thinking about maybe going another round.

“What if I left town? I still have that management problem in Miami and I thought I could do some investigating. Maybe I can find out more about Melisandra’s background if I go back there and ask some questions. There might be something I could find out that could help us.” Jerry had caught on to my idea of another round and slid his hand down my waist to the curve of my hip.

“Not such a bad idea. I know Mel’s stuck here all weekend because I saw an ad for her seminar in Austin Saturday night.” I sat up. “But you’ve known her for years, Jer. Didn’t you have a pretty good idea of her background then? Meet some of her friends and family?”

“Not really.” Jerry actually flushed. “It was a hot and heavy affair, Gloriana. We would meet at my hotel and, you know, get together. I have no idea if she has anyone important in her life. So this is worth a shot. Maybe I can find out if she has any vulnerabilities.”

I lifted his hand off my hip. Counted. Put it back. Okay, I couldn’t be mad at him for an affair he’d had when we’d been apart. I’d had my own, two actually. One when Jer and I had kind of been together. Anyway, it was an area we didn’t need to explore right now. Instead we had naked bodies and healthy appetites that deserved exploration.

Shallow? Sure. Too much introspection can lead to short and sad relationships. That’s one reason Jerry and I had lasted for centuries. We skirted deep issues, kept things light. It helped that he was usually all action and did very little talking. Now he proved he was still that way, rolling me under him and kissing me silent.

Finally, he pulled back and stared into my eyes. “Are we okay?”

“I suppose. Go to Miami. Get the dirt on Mel. Give me time to get that picture of you two being ‘hot and heavy’ out of my head. In the meantime, a demo of ‘hot and heavy’ here and now might help.” I tugged on his hair, just to show him I was semiserious.

“Gloriana, she’s mortal. There’s no comparison. I was making do until I could be with the woman who takes ‘hot and heavy’ to a whole new level.” He grinned and rolled until I sat astride him. “Look at you, perfect, tasty and able to read my mind. What more could I ask for?”

What more indeed? I leaned down to kiss him, shoving my old insecurities into the dark corner of my mind where they usually skulked. Perfect? Not hardly. But he didn’t seem to mind my extra pounds or the way my ass dimpled. So I put a little extra enthusiasm into my lovemaking, to give him something to remember while he was in Miami. With luck, he might even find something useful there.

• • •

“This book came while you were at Jerry’s.” Aggie tossed it at me when I walked into the apartment after sunset the next night. “Pretty creepy stuff if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you. What are you doing opening my mail?” I frowned. It was an old book and Aggie’s rough handling hadn’t helped it any.

“I thought it might be something I ordered online. A new diet book. I figured you owed me. Nice that you’ve got a credit card on file at Amazon.” Aggie groaned when she settled on the couch. “Flo is killing me. I swear my thighs are paralyzed.”

“No pain, no— Hey! How did you get my password anyway?” I grabbed my laptop. Sure enough, it didn’t take me long to see she’d ordered a book and a couple of other things. Candy? How did that fit on her diet? I started to change my password.

“Please. You used your cat’s name. Boogie. How easy was that?”

I stopped typing. I’d been about to change it to something equally easy, the name of my shop. I smiled and typed in Aggie’s name. She’d never guess that. I closed the computer.

“Stay off the Internet. Don’t use my credit card. Are we clear?”

“Desperate times.” Aggie frowned when Sienna came in wearing a vintage leather jacket. She’d had Megan call for the price and had ended up buying it in the shop. “Look. Everyone is shopping but me.”

“Goodwill has leather jackets. Check it out.” I smiled at Sienna. “Looks good.”

“Yes, I think so. Thanks for the great deal. I also bought some early Christmas presents but I can’t imagine how I’m going to handle giving them out.” Sienna’s eyes filled with tears. “Guess I’ll tell the family I have to be in the studio, recording, so I can’t come home like I usually do. I’ll just mail the gifts.”

“This first Christmas it would probably be for the best.” I patted the couch next to me. “By next year you’ll be able to work out a way to be with them only at night and not arouse suspicion.”

“I can’t tell them I’m a vampire? Seriously?” Sienna blew her nose. “I don’t think that’s a promise I can keep.”

“Think about it. They’d freak if they realized vampires really exist, wouldn’t they?”

“Well, my baby sister would probably be cool with it. She’s a big Twilight fan. But Mom and Dad?” Sienna sniffed. “No, I can’t imagine it. I’m from a nice little town in Oklahoma. We have football on the weekends, you know high school games where everyone goes. I actually went back for homecoming last year and my first boyfriend got me a corsage. One of those big mums with streamers.” She smiled, obviously remembering.

“Sounds . . . nice.” I couldn’t imagine it. It was like a movie I’d seen once.

“It was nice, though I didn’t realize it back then. Everything’s so normal. I was always a freak in high school. So I ran away. Which broke my folks’ hearts. We’ve made our peace and they’re over it now. Proud of me. But a vampire? No, can’t see it.” Sienna collapsed with a sigh.

“Your sleep cycle would give you away. If you went home, how would you explain that you conk out when the sun comes up and simply can’t wake up until sunset? It’s just too bizarre for ‘normal’ people to deal with. Forget church on Sundays.” Picturing Sienna’s “normal” family made me wistful. Not that I had a clue about how a real family acted. My only exposure had been TV reality shows and I hoped that wasn’t how most families lived.

“You’re right. The lunch after church is always a big deal. You should see the way my mom feeds me when I’m home. Cooks all my favorites. And even if I stayed in a hotel, which my folks would never allow, it wouldn’t work. My mom would be pounding on the door of the Holiday Inn before noon, wanting me to drive over to the mall in the next town to shop the after Christmas sales.” Sienna wiped her wet cheeks. “I love that shit. What did Ray do to me?”

“Screwed you over, hon.” Aggie had microwaved a diet dinner and was busy scarfing down spaghetti and meatballs.

“I’ll say.” Sienna licked her lips, tears drying up fast. “God, whatever you’re eating smells delicious.” She turned to me. “Seriously? We can’t eat anything solid?”

“There’s a drug that allows eating temporarily. Ian MacDonald invented it and sells it. Costs the earth. It gave me some bad side effects, but most vampires can probably tolerate it. He also has a daylight drug. It’ll give you enough time to watch a sunrise, but that’s about it. I can’t tell you how many thousands of dollars Ray’s sunk into buying that stuff. He’s addicted to it.”

“Of course. Once an addict, always an addict. He’s just transferred the behavior to something else. Tell me about Ian MacDonald. Vampire?” Sienna got up and took off her new jacket. The outfit underneath was pure Hollywood, the latest in skinny jeans and antique lace blouses. The blouse alone must have cost four figures.

“Yes, and a doctor. He’s the one Aggie sued.” I tried to keep a straight face. No one had been rooting for Aggie in that trial.

“Seriously? What’s the deal?” Sienna sat across from Aggie again.

“We were in love. I was a Siren, that’s a woman who lures men to her, takes their money then, um, finishes them off.” Aggie waved her fork. “Don’t look at me like that. Glory was one too, back in the day. At least I was a good Siren. Had plenty of kills to my credit. Glory sucked. Was kicked out of the sisterhood for refusing to follow through.”

“Yeah, I lacked the killer instinct.” I hung my head. “I’m so ashamed.”

“I’ll bet.” Sienna winked at me. “Go on. This is getting good. So what about MacDonald?”

“Well, Ian and I were a couple. He’s brilliant and hot. In bed . . . Well, don’t get me started. So I fell hard. Decided he was worth leaving my day job for.” Aggie sighed, obviously going through her personal highlight reel.

“Not much of a job. Sounds like you were a hit woman.” Sienna glanced at me. “Glory was lucky to be kicked out.”

“Yeah, well, I’d come to see there wasn’t much future. No room for advancement. You get my drift. So I decided to give up the Siren life to become mortal.” She looked down. “I had a perfect body, perfect. Didn’t I, Glory?”

“Of course. It’s a Siren requirement. When I was kicked out, the Storm God, the man in charge of the Sirens, played a dirty trick on me, rearranging my parts so I wouldn’t be perfect anymore.” I slapped my hip. “Go on, Aggie, finish this fascinating tale.”