Pygmalion

HIGGINS. But we want to find her.

PICKERING. We can't let her go like this, you know, Mrs. Higgins. What

were we to do?

MRS. HIGGINS. You have no more sense, either of you, than two children.

Why--

The parlor-maid comes in and breaks off the conversation.

THE PARLOR-MAID. Mr. Henry: a gentleman wants to see you very

particular. He's been sent on from Wimpole Street.

HIGGINS. Oh, bother! I can't see anyone now. Who is it?

THE PARLOR-MAID. A Mr. Doolittle, Sir.

PICKERING. Doolittle! Do you mean the dustman?

THE PARLOR-MAID. Dustman! Oh no, sir: a gentleman.

HIGGINS [springing up excitedly] By George, Pick, it's some relative of

hers that she's gone to. Somebody we know nothing about. [To the

parlor-maid] Send him up, quick.

THE PARLOR-MAID. Yes, Sir. [She goes].

HIGGINS [eagerly, going to his mother] Genteel relatives! now we shall

hear something. [He sits down in the Chippendale chair].

MRS. HIGGINS. Do you know any of her people?

PICKERING. Only her father: the fellow we told you about.

THE PARLOR-MAID [announcing] Mr. Doolittle. [She withdraws].

Doolittle enters. He is brilliantly dressed in a new fashionable

frock-coat, with white waistcoat and grey trousers. A flower in his

buttonhole, a dazzling silk hat, and patent leather shoes complete the

effect. He is too concerned with the business he has come on to notice

Mrs. Higgins. He walks straight to Higgins, and accosts him with

vehement reproach.

DOOLITTLE [indicating his own person] See here! Do you see this? You

done this.

HIGGINS. Done what, man?

DOOLITTLE. This, I tell you. Look at it. Look at this hat. Look at this

coat.

PICKERING. Has Eliza been buying you clothes?

DOOLITTLE. Eliza! not she. Not half. Why would she buy me clothes?

MRS. HIGGINS. Good-morning, Mr. Doolittle. Won't you sit down?

DOOLITTLE [taken aback as he becomes conscious that he has forgotten

his hostess] Asking your pardon, ma'am. [He approaches her and shakes

her proffered hand]. Thank you. [He sits down on the ottoman, on

Pickering's right]. I am that full of what has happened to me that I

can't think of anything else.

HIGGINS. What the dickens has happened to you?

DOOLITTLE. I shouldn't mind if it had only happened to me: anything

might happen to anybody and nobody to blame but Providence, as you

might say. But this is something that you done to me: yes, you, Henry

Higgins.

HIGGINS. Have you found Eliza? That's the point.

DOOLITTLE. Have you lost her?

HIGGINS. Yes.

DOOLITTLE. You have all the luck, you have. I ain't found her; but

she'll find me quick enough now after what you done to me.