Pygmalion

FREDDY. The new small talk. You do it so awfully well.

LIZA. If I was doing it proper, what was you laughing at? [To Higgins]

Have I said anything I oughtn't?

MRS. HIGGINS [interposing] Not at all, Miss Doolittle.

LIZA. Well, that's a mercy, anyhow. [Expansively] What I always say is--

HIGGINS [rising and looking at his watch] Ahem!

LIZA [looking round at him; taking the hint; and rising] Well: I must

go. [They all rise. Freddy goes to the door]. So pleased to have met

you. Good-bye. [She shakes hands with Mrs. Higgins].

MRS. HIGGINS. Good-bye.

LIZA. Good-bye, Colonel Pickering.

PICKERING. Good-bye, Miss Doolittle. [They shake hands].

LIZA [nodding to the others] Good-bye, all.

FREDDY [opening the door for her] Are you walking across the Park, Miss

Doolittle? If so--

LIZA. Walk! Not bloody likely. [Sensation]. I am going in a taxi. [She

goes out].

Pickering gasps and sits down. Freddy goes out on the balcony to catch

another glimpse of Eliza.

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [suffering from shock] Well, I really can't get used

to the new ways.

CLARA [throwing herself discontentedly into the Elizabethan chair]. Oh,

it's all right, mamma, quite right. People will think we never go

anywhere or see anybody if you are so old-fashioned.

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL. I daresay I am very old-fashioned; but I do hope

you won't begin using that expression, Clara. I have got accustomed to

hear you talking about men as rotters, and calling everything filthy

and beastly; though I do think it horrible and unladylike. But this

last is really too much. Don't you think so, Colonel Pickering?

PICKERING. Don't ask me. I've been away in India for several years; and

manners have changed so much that I sometimes don't know whether I'm at

a respectable dinner-table or in a ship's forecastle.

CLARA. It's all a matter of habit. There's no right or wrong in it.

Nobody means anything by it. And it's so quaint, and gives such a smart

emphasis to things that are not in themselves very witty. I find the

new small talk delightful and quite innocent.

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [rising] Well, after that, I think it's time for us

to go.

Pickering and Higgins rise.

CLARA [rising] Oh yes: we have three at homes to go to still. Good-bye,

Mrs. Higgins. Good-bye, Colonel Pickering. Good-bye, Professor Higgins.

HIGGINS [coming grimly at her from the divan, and accompanying her to

the door] Good-bye. Be sure you try on that small talk at the three

at-homes. Don't be nervous about it. Pitch it in strong.

CLARA [all smiles] I will. Good-bye. Such nonsense, all this early

Victorian prudery!