Pygmalion

HIGGINS [rising, and going over to Pickering] Pickering: if we were to

take this man in hand for three months, he could choose between a seat

in the Cabinet and a popular pulpit in Wales.

PICKERING. What do you say to that, Doolittle?

DOOLITTLE. Not me, Governor, thank you kindly. I've heard all the

preachers and all the prime ministers--for I'm a thinking man and game

for politics or religion or social reform same as all the other

amusements--and I tell you it's a dog's life anyway you look at it.

Undeserving poverty is my line. Taking one station in society with

another, it's--it's--well, it's the only one that has any ginger in it,

to my taste.

HIGGINS. I suppose we must give him a fiver.

PICKERING. He'll make a bad use of it, I'm afraid.

DOOLITTLE. Not me, Governor, so help me I won't. Don't you be afraid

that I'll save it and spare it and live idle on it. There won't be a

penny of it left by Monday: I'll have to go to work same as if I'd

never had it. It won't pauperize me, you bet. Just one good spree for

myself and the missus, giving pleasure to ourselves and employment to

others, and satisfaction to you to think it's not been throwed away.

You couldn't spend it better.

HIGGINS [taking out his pocket book and coming between Doolittle and

the piano] This is irresistible. Let's give him ten. [He offers two

notes to the dustman].

DOOLITTLE. No, Governor. She wouldn't have the heart to spend ten; and

perhaps I shouldn't neither. Ten pounds is a lot of money: it makes a

man feel prudent like; and then goodbye to happiness. You give me what

I ask you, Governor: not a penny more, and not a penny less.

PICKERING. Why don't you marry that missus of yours? I rather draw the

line at encouraging that sort of immorality.

DOOLITTLE. Tell her so, Governor: tell her so. I'm willing. It's me

that suffers by it. I've no hold on her. I got to be agreeable to her.

I got to give her presents. I got to buy her clothes something sinful.

I'm a slave to that woman, Governor, just because I'm not her lawful

husband. And she knows it too. Catch her marrying me! Take my advice,

Governor: marry Eliza while she's young and don't know no better. If

you don't you'll be sorry for it after. If you do, she'll be sorry for

it after; but better you than her, because you're a man, and she's only

a woman and don't know how to be happy anyhow.