Pygmalion

DOOLITTLE [protesting] No, Governor.

HIGGINS. You must have. How else could you possibly know that she is

here?

DOOLITTLE. Don't take a man up like that, Governor.

HIGGINS. The police shall take you up. This is a plant--a plot to

extort money by threats. I shall telephone for the police [he goes

resolutely to the telephone and opens the directory].

DOOLITTLE. Have I asked you for a brass farthing? I leave it to the

gentleman here: have I said a word about money?

HIGGINS [throwing the book aside and marching down on Doolittle with a

poser] What else did you come for?

DOOLITTLE [sweetly] Well, what would a man come for? Be human, governor.

HIGGINS [disarmed] Alfred: did you put her up to it?

DOOLITTLE. So help me, Governor, I never did. I take my Bible oath I

ain't seen the girl these two months past.

HIGGINS. Then how did you know she was here?

DOOLITTLE ["most musical, most melancholy"] I'll tell you, Governor, if

you'll only let me get a word in. I'm willing to tell you. I'm wanting

to tell you. I'm waiting to tell you.

HIGGINS. Pickering: this chap has a certain natural gift of rhetoric.

Observe the rhythm of his native woodnotes wild. "I'm willing to tell

you: I'm wanting to tell you: I'm waiting to tell you." Sentimental

rhetoric! That's the Welsh strain in him. It also accounts for his

mendacity and dishonesty.

PICKERING. Oh, PLEASE, Higgins: I'm west country myself. [To Doolittle]

How did you know the girl was here if you didn't send her?

DOOLITTLE. It was like this, Governor. The girl took a boy in the taxi

to give him a jaunt. Son of her landlady, he is. He hung about on the

chance of her giving him another ride home. Well, she sent him back for

her luggage when she heard you was willing for her to stop here. I met

the boy at the corner of Long Acre and Endell Street.

HIGGINS. Public house. Yes?

DOOLITTLE. The poor man's club, Governor: why shouldn't I?

PICKERING. Do let him tell his story, Higgins.

DOOLITTLE. He told me what was up. And I ask you, what was my feelings

and my duty as a father? I says to the boy, "You bring me the luggage,"

I says--

PICKERING. Why didn't you go for it yourself?

DOOLITTLE. Landlady wouldn't have trusted me with it, Governor. She's

that kind of woman: you know. I had to give the boy a penny afore he

trusted me with it, the little swine. I brought it to her just to

oblige you like, and make myself agreeable. That's all.