Pygmalion

PICKERING [rising and standing over him gravely] Come, Higgins! You

know what I mean. If I'm to be in this business I shall feel

responsible for that girl. I hope it's understood that no advantage is

to be taken of her position.

HIGGINS. What! That thing! Sacred, I assure you. [Rising to explain]

You see, she'll be a pupil; and teaching would be impossible unless

pupils were sacred. I've taught scores of American millionairesses how

to speak English: the best looking women in the world. I'm seasoned.

They might as well be blocks of wood. I might as well be a block of

wood. It's--

Mrs. Pearce opens the door. She has Eliza's hat in her hand. Pickering

retires to the easy-chair at the hearth and sits down.

HIGGINS [eagerly] Well, Mrs. Pearce: is it all right?

MRS. PEARCE [at the door] I just wish to trouble you with a word, if I

may, Mr. Higgins.

HIGGINS. Yes, certainly. Come in. [She comes forward]. Don't burn that,

Mrs. Pearce. I'll keep it as a curiosity. [He takes the hat].

MRS. PEARCE. Handle it carefully, sir, please. I had to promise her not

to burn it; but I had better put it in the oven for a while.

HIGGINS [putting it down hastily on the piano] Oh! thank you. Well,

what have you to say to me?

PICKERING. Am I in the way?

MRS. PEARCE. Not at all, sir. Mr. Higgins: will you please be very

particular what you say before the girl?

HIGGINS [sternly] Of course. I'm always particular about what I say.

Why do you say this to me?

MRS. PEARCE [unmoved] No, sir: you're not at all particular when you've

mislaid anything or when you get a little impatient. Now it doesn't

matter before me: I'm used to it. But you really must not swear before

the girl.

HIGGINS [indignantly] I swear! [Most emphatically] I never swear. I

detest the habit. What the devil do you mean?

MRS. PEARCE [stolidly] That's what I mean, sir. You swear a great deal

too much. I don't mind your damning and blasting, and what the devil

and where the devil and who the devil--

HIGGINS. Really! Mrs. Pearce: this language from your lips!

MRS. PEARCE [not to be put off]--but there is a certain word I must ask

you not to use. The girl has just used it herself because the bath was

too hot. It begins with the same letter as bath. She knows no better:

she learnt it at her mother's knee. But she must not hear it from your

lips.

HIGGINS [loftily] I cannot charge myself with having ever uttered it,

Mrs. Pearce. [She looks at him steadfastly. He adds, hiding an uneasy

conscience with a judicial air] Except perhaps in a moment of extreme

and justifiable excitement.