Providence

Jared noticed my growing unease and placed his hand on mine. “What exactly did you tel her, Claire? And more importantly, why?” he spoke through his teeth, working to keep his tone calm.

“You didn’t give me a choice, Jared. After what happened at the hospital, and last night, Cynthia needed to know what was going on. That’s what Dad would have done.”

“Dad’s not here.” Jared’s voice broke as he fought to keep his calm.

Claire crossed her arms. “Obviously, Jared, or you wouldn’t be insisting on going through with this. You’ve gone against everything Dad taught us, hours after he died. I tried to tel you, but you won’t listen....”

“You can go, now, Claire,” Jared snarled.

Claire’s stoic expression faltered at her brother’s stern tone. “Fine. Cynthia is waiting at Andrews. Maybe she can stop this before it gets too far.”

Claire shoved herself away from the table, grabbing her keys and motorcycle helmet. I cringed when she slammed the door behind her as she left.

The force of the door crashing into the door jamb caused the shelves on the wal s to tremble. I peered over at Jared, whose jaws worked under his skin.

“So she knows about us, so what?” I said, squeezing his hand.

Jared didn’t answer right away, and I could tel that he was trying to calm down before he spoke.

“This…complicates things,” he said in a low tone. “We should get you back. The longer she has to wait the more difficult it wil be.”

I stood and shook my head. “Have I missed something here? This is my mother we’re talking about, right? Why are you so nervous?”

Jared took our plates to the sink and then went directly to the coat stand.

He held out my coat and tried to smile, but it resulted in a twisted, pained expression. “Ready?”

Nodding, I twisted into my coat. I was glad when he took my hand and held it until we reached his SUV, and even more pleased that he didn’t release it for the entire drive to Brown, but he didn’t speak a word until we reached Andrews.

He put the Escalade in park and looked straight ahead, releasing my hand to grip his steering wheel.

“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked.

Jared shook his head. “I’m the last person she wants to see.”

“O…Okay,” I said, unsure of what to make of his behavior. Jared had admitted to standing up to my father once, but he wouldn’t face my mother.

I reached for the door, but Jared grabbed my arm and pul ed me to him with worry in his eyes. His hands cupped my face and he pressed his lips against mine with a sense of urgency. When he final y released me from the kiss, he leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.

“You act like you’re never going to see me again,” I said, suddenly nervous.

“I can’t ask you to go against your mother’s wishes, Nina.”

I laughed once in surprise. “You think she’s going to tel me to stay away from you?”

“That’s exactly what she’s going to do.”

I shook my head. “You should know my mother has a poor track record for changing my mind. Even she knows it.”

“She seldom fails to get her way. Just…don’t listen to her.”

“Her tricks work on everyone but me. I’m not going anywhere.”

One corner of his mouth turned up, but it seemed contrived.

“I’l cal you later, okay?” I ran my fingers through the sides of his hair, and he pressed his forehead against mine once again.

“Okay,” he whispered.

The Escalade stood motionless until I was inside the building, and then it slowly pul away.

Knowing he would be listening, I hurried to my room. I was anxious to calm the storms in Jared’s eyes, even if that meant going toe to toe with Cynthia Grey.

I opened the door and froze. Cynthia stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed, prepared for confrontation. Beth twisted around in her desk chair, meeting my eyes with a sympathetic expression.

“I think I’m going to grab some coffee. Would either of you like me to bring you something ba—,”

“No thank you,” Cynthia interrupted. She must have been far beyond anger; she was never cross enough to be so rude.

“I’l take some, Beth, thanks,” I said, making a show of appreciation. Beth nodded and grabbed her coat, rushing out the door.

“Where were you last night?” Cynthia demanded.

“You know perfectly wel where I was,” I said, mimicking the set of her chin.

This took her off-guard. Cynthia typical y relied on the element of surprise.

She recovered quickly. “You can’t get involved with Jared, Nina. You don’t know anything about him, trust me.”

“I know enough, Mother.” I sat on Beth’s bed and looked to the floor. I would have to choose my words careful y.

Cynthia reared her head and stepped in front of me. “Nina Elizabeth, it’s too dangerous. I know you think you know him, but you don’t.”

I laughed once. “If he’s dangerous then why is he being paid to protect me?”

Cynthia’s mouth flew open. “That arrangement was between him and your father. You’re not listening. He’s not dangerous to you. It’s dangerous for you to be…to become…involved with him. He has just as many enemies as your father.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” she asked. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into? I don’t think you have the slightest idea of where this could lead or the choices you’l have to make. I don’t think he’s thought this through, either, or he wouldn’t have done this. Maybe not, maybe he’s too selfish to care—,”

“Selfish?” I shrieked. “How can you say that about him? After what we’ve put him and his family through, Mother?”

“Is that what this is about? Guilt?” Cynthia paced the room, arms stil crossed.

“No!” I gasped. “It’s nothing like that,” I said, embarrassed that Jared could hear her words.

She closed her eyes and sighed. “Nina…please. I’m begging you. You know that I want you to be happy…but this—this is not going to end wel ,” her voice was quiet.

I smiled. “Does anything end wel ?”

Cynthia heaved her usual resigned sigh, but this time it was different. It was the same she used in the seldom event that she lost an argument to Jack.

“I wish this one time, Baby, that you would listen to what I’m trying to tel you. The last few months have been the culmination of every fear I’ve ever had.”

I had been unaffected by my mother’s infamous guilt trips since I was thirteen, but now that she’d used Jack’s death, I couldn’t break free of the blame. She had never wanted me to find out the truth, and I imagined that it was the one thing she wanted to remain unchanged after we lost my father.

When I thought of her dishonesty and how she’d kept secrets about Jack and Gabe and the Ryels from me for years, the guilt turned to anger.

“You can’t tel me how to feel,” I glowered.

“It’s not too late, Nina. You can save yourself,” she said, lifting my chin. Her uncharacteristical y soft affection caught me off guard, but I was resolved.

I pul ed away from her. “I don’t need to be saved from Jared.”

Cynthia sucked in a sharp breath and pinched her nose with her thumb and finger. “Nina….”

I could see that she was finished. She had pul ed every trick from her bag and laid her cards on the table. I felt triumphant as I imagined Jared smiling at my words.

Beth returned, then, sitting beside me on her bed. “Hazelnut and Splenda,” she smiled, handing me a Styrofoam cup.

“Thanks, Beth.”

Cynthia looked at me, exasperated. “I’m going home now. Please think about what I said. It’s important.”

“I wil .” I tried to conceal my relief at her departure.

Beth closed the door and then turned to me. “Did she just give you the sex talk?”

“What? No!” I twisted my face in disgust. The thought of discussing my sex life with my mother made my stomach turn, and Beth clearly had the wrong idea about several things.

“You stayed with him last night?” The corners of her mouth turned up in an enthusiastic grin.

“Yes, but I fel asleep. It wasn’t like that.”

“Oh. Wel , did you have a good time?” she asked, deflated.

“We went to his loft, he cooked—“ “He cooked?” Beth interrupted.

I nodded. “He brought me flowers and there were candles everywhere. We talked for hours, into the morning.”

Beth pul ed her knees up to her chest. “Wow. I told you he was in love with you. I have a sixth sense about these things.”

“You’re amazing,” I granted.

“Thanks for noticing,” she said. Her eyes narrowed with her grin. “When are you going to see him again?”

“Later today, I hope. Our morning was sort of cut short.”

“Cynthia,” she said. I nodded my head and she stood up, gathering her things.

“I’m going to the hospital with Chad and Tucker in an hour. Do you have time before you meet back up with Jared?”

“Yes,” I said, deciding in the moment.

Beth dialed her cel phone, cal ing Chad to let him know that I would be tagging along. Quickly after he answered, her voice lowered. She tried to be vague, but I could tel Chad, Tucker, or both, had a problem with me going. Beth won in the end, and she turned to me and winked.

I was relieved to arrive at the hospital; Tucker and Chad didn’t seem angry with me, but there was an obvious air of tension in Chad’s jeep. I wasn’t sure what al the apprehension meant until we arrived at Ryan’s new room in PCCU.

Ryan didn’t look happy to see me. In fact, he behaved as if my very presence was an insult.

He wasted no time before he pounced. “So how was your date?” he sneered.

“I thought you didn’t want to hear about it.” My answer was automatic and venomous. I hadn’t intended to sound defensive, but his spiteful attitude took me by surprise.

“That was before Beth cal ed everyone looking for you at three in the morning. It went that wel , huh?” he bristled.

I looked over at Chad and Tucker; this is what they were worried about.

Beth looked at Chad with an angry glare, and he shot her an apologetic smile.

“It wasn’t me, Babe!” he shrugged.

“Who was it?” she snarled.

Ryan rol ed his eyes. “It was Josh. What does it matter?”

Beth stomped to my side of the room in protest, crossing her arms.

“What business is it of Josh’s?” I said. “If everyone’s so worried about me upsetting you, why do they keep passing on my business?” I was being entirely too defensive, but I was stil raw from my earlier encounter with Cynthia.

“Maybe they want me to talk some sense into you.”

“Or is it because you’re making everyone think they have to choose sides?” I narrowed my eyes and mimicked Beth’s crossed arms. We must have looked ridiculous side by side; the Prom Queen Mafia.

“There are no sides.” Ryan’s nose wrinkled at my words.

“Real y?” I raised an eyebrow. My eyes darted to Chad and Tucker standing on one side of the room, and then at Beth beside me. “It sure seems like it to me.”

Ryan ground his teeth and looked out the window, clearly too angry to continue.

I sighed. “If you’d just give him a chance.”

Ryan sucked in a sharp breath, readying himself to real y let me have it, but he cringed and grabbed his bandaged wound, letting out a muffled grunt instead.

“Ryan…” I groaned, reaching for him. The pain in his face sent guilt burning through me. I took a step closer to his bed.

“Just go, Nina. Just…go,” he said with his eyes clinched shut.

I wanted to apologize, but nothing could make it right. I would never be sorry for being with Jared, and that was my only crime in Ryan’s eyes.

I trudged to the waiting room without another word. My perfect morning had transformed into an abysmal day.

Beth, Chad and Tucker returned after half an hour, and we walked to the jeep in silence. I tried to find solace in their conversation on the way back to campus, discussing Ryan’s improvement, his possible early release, and the funny stories they were trying to cheer him up with, but nothing helped. I was considered the scarlet letter when I had done nothing wrong.

As we pul ed into the campus parking lot, my cel phone buzzed. The display lit up and Ryan’s name and number scrol ed across the screen. I clambered from Chad’s jeep and pressed the phone to my ear.

“I’m sorry, Nina,” he blurted out apologetical y. “You were right; it’s no one’s business. I just didn’t expect…I don’t know what I expected.”

“It’s not what you think. I just fel asleep,” I explained.

“We’re friends, right, Nina?” he said. My insides wrenched at the exhausted sadness in his voice.

I covered my eyes with my hand. “Of course we are. I hate it that you’re mad at me.”

“I have no right to be. I just need to know that I didn’t ruin everything.”

Ruin everything? He was lying in a hospital bed healing from a wound that I could have prevented. The guilt was unbearable.

“I’m sorry,” I choked out.

“I’m a jealous idiot, Nina. Just…promise me you’l come back. I won’t be a jerk again, I swear.” His voice bordered on begging, and I was desperate to take away his regret.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Beth smiled after watching me stuff my cel phone into my purse. “I’m glad you two got it worked out.”