Pomme Terre

(Cliff's Side of Story now)

There, I said it. I told her everything. Honesty is stupidity. I risked everything by being honest. I risked losing the love of my life, I risked losing Faye.

It is a dice I am willing to roll.

Come what may.

But, it hurts. The telling hurts. The waiting hurts. Sometimes the pain in the heart translated to a tangible ache and I would've thought something is physically not right with my blood pumping machine.

It had been a week since we last met each other, when Faye walked out of my apartment and left me wondering if she heard me when I said 'i love you '. We had not been in any contact.

Every waking moment I think of her. Everytime I picked up the phone, I was hoping to receive a text or anything from her.

And every day I criticize myself for revealing the depths of my soul to her. Was it too much for her to take? Or too soon?

And digging out the past brought back old memories... of the witch bitch, of Bro Nat, and my ex. As Faye described her scars, these are mine. I hated some, cherished some but I accepted them all as part of me.

Is the wretched woman still alive, I wonder? I don't really care, apart than to find comfort in hoping that she is sufferably alive. Will I ever forgive her? There is no need to offer forgiveness to someone who didn't ask for it. But to let it all go and for my own sake, I choose to forget it.