Plastic Hearts

"This is Dane Wright. He grew up in the city and, after taking time off after high school, decided to study art at NYU." I cleared my throat before continuing. "Beneath the leather jacket, he has a tattoo of a guardian angel with the word Jenna underneath. Jenna was Dane's sister who passed away when she was just five. She’s the inspiration for most of his art." I took a deep breath as the class started to applaud. I was still nervous about Dane’s reaction, but happy that I had my first art project under my belt.

"Thank you, Alex. Dane, you’re up,” Mr. Thomas said, nodding toward Dane. I glanced at Dane who was frozen in place, eyes still locked on the painting I created. When his eyes finally met mine, I noticed they were glistening with unshed tears. Something passed between us. I was not sure if it was understanding or gratefulness, but having that effect on someone warmed my heart.

Dane started to move and I fully expected him to grab a piece of paper from his bag. My eyes grew as I watched him pick up an object wrapped in white cloth from the table at the side of the classroom. He revealed a metal sculpture that consisted of two objects. On the left was what looked like a brain with a scalpel and a stethoscope etched into it and on the right was a heart with a paintbrush and an easel. It was much more than I’d expected. I couldn’t believe he had taken the time to create a metal sculpture based on me. No one ever spent that much time on me. I also realized I had told him some things that I didn’t necessarily want the whole class to know; things depicted in this piece of art he was about to show everyone. Panic ran through me. Maybe we both got a little too personal on this project.

"This is Alex Riley. She grew up in Connecticut and her family wants her to become a doctor. She is a Pre Med student, but her real passion is art; that’s where her heart is. Her dream is to become a graphic artist."

I felt completely n**ed when the bell rang. I gave him that information, but I didn’t think about the repercussions before doing it. It was something I had never told anyone, with the exception of Jade and Gwen, and now a room full of strangers knew everything because of my moment of vulnerability. I quickly grabbed my bag and began to exit the classroom without giving him another glance. I didn’t want him to see the tears forming in my eyes. "Alex, wait!" I kept walking until I felt a warm hand grip my arm, turning me around.

"You aren't mad are you?” His serious eyes held my gaze as my own filled with tears. I wasn’t mad at him, but I was furious with myself. I might have been overreacting, but I wasn’t used to others seeing inside my shell. I had spent years building and beautifying that shell.

"Just forget about it. I have to go." I turned and walked away as quickly as I could before the tears began to slide down my cheeks. I heard him say my name, but I kept walking. The whole class knew I was a coward now. I couldn’t be angry at the truth, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

I immediately dialed Gwen's number when I was safely back in my dorm room. Gwen and I were different in so many ways, but we came from the same place. I constantly struggled to do what I was supposed to do while Gwen simply accepted it. She was engaged to a man she had been dating for three years. He was also a medical resident and came form one of the most prominent families in Greenwich. She seemed happy to be marrying the guy of my parent’s dreams, but I always wondered if she truly was.

"Hey, long time no talk," Gwen said as soon as she picked up the phone.

"We spoke yesterday," I replied. Gwen had always been a bit on the dramatic side.

"Someone sounds a little jumpy today. How did your presentation on Mr. Green Eyes go?" she asked. I called her the other day to fill her in on my first day of classes. She was always a good listener and the most understanding person in my family.

"Mine went fine. He, on the other hand, told the whole class that my real aspiration was art and now they all know I’m a coward. I’m not looking forward to returning on Monday." My eyes started to sting again, just thinking about what happened in class today. I didn’t want to cry. I was generally not a crier, but the last week had taken a lot out of me. I broke up with my friend, had a surprise visit from my mother, and had been called out in front of the whole class. I would say it ranked right up there with ‘worst week ever’ status.

"You told him?" she asked, sighing into the phone.

"Well yeah, it just kind of came out. I wasn’t thinking about the presentation when I said it.” I rubbed my forehead in an effort to ease the pain that had been building since I left class. I wished there was a way to go back in time and tell him how amazing my life was. I should have told him about my amazing parents, my beautiful home and how I was accepted into the National Honor Society, but there was something about him that brought the truth out of me.

"You like him don't you?" she asked. I could tell she was smiling through the phone. I needed her sympathy, but it seemed I was amusing her instead.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? No, absolutely not!”

“Whatever you say, Alex.”

Just then Jade walked through the door with a huge smile on her face, holding what looked like two New York drivers licenses. "I’m going to have to call you back later,” I said, never taking my eyes off my roommate.

"Okay, later."

"Bye"

I set down my cell phone. "What are those?"

"These are our tickets to drink in a real bar. You and I are going to Loft 10 tonight. You look like you could use a drink." She handed me my card and sat on the edge of my bed. I recognized my picture; it was the head off one of my many senior portraits. There was no way anyone was going to believe this was real. Adding an arrest or ticket to my week was just what I didn’t need.

"I should really study." Or stay in the dorm all night crying my eyes out into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Ben & Jerry were fabulous dates; they never let me down.

"Come on, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Besides, you are already dressed to go out, just touch up your makeup a little," she said, circling her finger around my face.

After this morning’s events, I really wanted to be alone. However, I had only been out one or two nights my whole freshman year of college and maybe I needed this. "Okay, what time?" I asked.

She threw her arms around me, practically screaming in my ear, "Be ready at 9!" Anger and alcohol aren’t the best combination, but if it made me feel better and helped me forget I could hang my reservations for one night. For once I just wanted to forget that I was living by someone else’s rules.

Chapter Five

Loft 10 was not my usual scene. The inside was very dark with green and blue lights illuminating the bar. They same lighting continued around the room, shining through a half wall that divided the dance floor from the bar seating area. Seating consisted mostly of tables and chairs, but there were also a few black leather couches in the VIP lounge area. Even in my knee length sweater dress and knee-high boots, I looked like a nun in comparison to most of the other girls in the place. The club was packed, but luckily Kevin and his friends had arrived early and scored a table a few feet away from the bar.

"Well, look who's here. Can I get you girls something to drink?" Kevin asked, his eyes traveling the length of both our bodies before returning to our faces.

Kevin’s stare was making me uncomfortable so I tugged my skirt down as far as it would allow. "No, I’ll go get myself something. Jade, what are you drinking tonight?" I asked, in an effort to break the spell.

"Vodka and grapefruit juice, please. Make sure they don't burn it!" she shouted over the noise. I weaved my way through the crowd gathered around the bar and waited for one of the two bartenders to serve me. As I studied the ID that Kevin had made for me, I began to feel the nerves build in my stomach again. There was no way anyone was going to look at this thing and serve me. Then again, I was sure half the bar had to have used fake plastic in order to be drinking this evening.

"Alex.” My back went stiff when I saw who said my name. Dane was standing right in front of me on the other side of the bar with a huge grin on his face.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" I asked, trying to mask the annoyance in my voice. It was obvious he was working, but I didn’t know what else to say. Could I not get away from him? New York City was not that small of a town.

“What does it look like I’m doing here?” he asked as he threw a towel over his shoulder. My eyes locked on the towel but then journeyed downward, taking in the strong, bulky chest highlighted under his black Loft 10 t-shirt. There were a few times these last few days when I wondered what it would be like to touch that chest; it would never happen, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t dream. He cleared his throat, startling me from the staring contest I was having with his chest. When I looked back up, Dane was biting on his lower lip, trying to hold back a laugh.

"I need a vodka and grapefruit juice, a shot of whiskey, and a Bud Light, please,” I blurted. I was rambling again and I hadn't intended to order a whiskey and a beer, but I was going to need both to get through the night. When I walked out of class today, I took comfort in the fact that I wouldn’t see Dane for a couple days and now here he was. Any thought of the consequences of underage drinking in a packed New York City bar left me. I really needed those drinks now.

"You have to be 21 to drink in this bar," he said, looking serious. I handed him my ID and he studied it for several seconds before smiling, "Maybe if you take this down to Jay at the end of the bar, he can help you. I can't do it." I sighed as Dane walked down to the end of the bar to help someone else.

As soon as Jay looked my way, I waved him over and placed my order. He hadn't even blinked when I showed him my ID. Relief washed over me as he handed me my drinks and accepted the cash I handed him. I immediately threw back my whiskey and carried the other drinks back to my table, weaving my way through the crowded club.

"Thanks,” Jade said, grabbing her drink out of my hand. I noticed we had a new guest at our table who I had not met before. He had longer dark brown hair that was partially tucked behind his ears and his big brown eyes highlighted by thick dark lashes. He was ruggedly handsome with stubble along his strong jaw; not my type, but cute. "This is Tyler. Tyler, this is Alex. Tyler graduated from NYU last year with a degree in Architecture; he and Kevin went to the same high school," Jade said, as her eyes remained locked on Tyler.