Plastic Hearts

He approached me with a puzzled look on his face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I forgot we rented a limo to take to the reception. Just leave the car here and we’ll take a cab back to my house and pick the car up in the morning.”

“Limo ride, huh? Is there beer? I could really use one,” he said sounding a little uncomfortable. This wasn’t his element. I could see it all over his face, but I appreciated that he came for me.

“Champagne….and me,” I said, tilting my head to the side and working my lower lip between my teeth.

“What are we waiting for then?” He put his hand on my lower back and guided me toward the limo door. I was about to climb in when I felt a small cold hand on my wrist. My heart dropped. I didn’t have to even look up to know who the hand belonged to.

“Alexandra, limo is for wedding party only.” Her tone left little room for argument, but I was seething. I brought Dane here to spend the weekend with me, not to be separated from him.

I gave her a fake smile, barely moving my lips as I found some rare confidence. “Dane is my guest. He goes with me this time.” I couldn’t see Dane’s face, but I felt his hand press into my back.

She looked into the crowd and smiled. This was her discreet way of making sure no one was watching our exchange and if they were, she wanted them to think it was a happy one. So fake, just like everything else surrounding her. She was still smiling when she returned her attention to me, “I paid for this limo, my rules.”

I wanted to slap her. I was not a violent person, but every muscle in my body was screaming for me to slap her. I didn’t, of course, but I wanted to. She needed to control everything. I wondered if it is as exhausting for her as it was for me. I was not going to let her control me this time. It was time to score one point for Alex. I turned, grabbed Dane’s hand and led him toward my car. A smile spread across my face and when I looked over at Dane he had a prideful smirk on his. I felt really good for once. Maybe this was why my mother liked control.

I heard her say my name once, but she didn’t come after us. She can’t make a scene here and I used it to my advantage. For once, I didn’t think about the consequences and concentrated on how it made me feel now. Dane was the ultimate prize, but rebellion felt really good too.

As soon as we got to the car, Dane picked me up and twirled me in his arms. I laughed as he put my feet back on the ground and pressed my back into the side of the car. He was standing so close and my heart was pounding out of my chest; I could feel every part of his body against mine. One of his hands touched the side of my neck while the other rested on the top of the car. He tilted my head up and kissed me so long and deep that I forget about everything but him. His tongue worked against my lips until I opened to give him better access. It was hungry, yet sensual. I loved it when Dane kissed me like he might die if he didn’t have me. I wanted him just as bad.

Raindrops started to fall from the sky, rolling down my make-up covered face and bare shoulders. I didn’t care what it was doing to my seemingly perfect appearance. Nothing was going to break me away from him. I started to shake from the chill the rain had brought on a few minutes later. Dane pulled back, leaving me breathless and lonely, so he could pull his jacket over my shoulders. “Come on, let’s get you in the car before you get sick,” he said, practically setting me into the passenger seat. I rubbed my thumb over my lower lip, remembering the kiss he just gave me. He noticed what I was doing when he entered the car and reached for my thumb, kissing it softly. If a heart could smile, mine would be beaming right now.

“Are you cold?” he asked, rubbing my arms. He cranked the heat up as high as it would go.

“I’m feeling better,” I replied. He made me warm in more ways than one.

Right before he put the car into gear, he turned to me. “What you did back there, Baby…I’m proud of you.” I wanted to cry. He didn’t know it, but that was the first time anyone had ever said they were proud of me. To me, saying I’m proud of you was almost as important as I love you. I entwined my fingers with his as we drove in silence to the reception. So much had happened in such a short amount of time today. I felt revived and happy.

The reception was a circus of wealth; wealthy people, rich décor, fancy suits, beautiful dresses and an extravagant feast. This time it was just wedding party at the head table and Dane sat with the other spouses and significant others. I hated being away from him, but at least this felt fair. One of my duties as maid of honor was to give a speech. My nerves were already working overtime in anticipation. Talking to a room of people made me uncomfortable and it was even worse that I didn’t know these people in the literal sense. This was sad, considering I had been around them for years.

The best man gave his speech first and then it was my turn. I took a deep, cleansing breath and stood up. I grabbed the microphone with one hand and held note cards in the other as I looked at the crowd. I saw my parents first; my mother was smiling with her mouth, but glaring with her eyes. It sent a chill down the entire length of my body; I wasn’t looking forward to being alone with her again this weekend. She was angry; her eyes said it all. The rain had altered my appearance from my earlier made up look; I was sure that had her spitting bullets. My father looked like he had somewhere else to be. He always looked that way, like something was more important than what I had going on. He hadn’t said a word to me this weekend and I was starving for any sort of attention from him. Then I looked over at Dane who was grinning from ear to ear. It wasn’t a mocking grin, but one meant to ease my tension. He mouthed, “You can do it” before winking at me. That was all I needed for my lips to start moving.

“First of all, thank you for coming. I am so happy that Gwen finally found someone who makes her happy and whole. Phillip is a great catch and I know he will make a wonderful husband. I think we all wish to find that special someone in our lives and now there are two less people searching. I remember when my sister brought Phillip home for the first time. She couldn’t stop smiling and everything was Phillip this, Phillip that. I knew then that he was her forever man. To love, happiness and forever. I love you Gwen and Phillip.” I felt guilty as I sat back down in my chair. The words in my speech didn’t quite reach my heart; there wasn’t enough truth to it. I glanced over at Gwen before taking my seat again. She was crying. Were they tears of realization or happiness? I wondered if she knew her relationship was not what it should be.

After the cake was cut and the couple had their first dance, Dane appeared at the head table. Dane in a suit made my heart pound. He was handsome. Not in a classic way, but an edgy sort of handsome. The moment I looked into his eyes, the glisten told me he knew what I was thinking. He smiled and reached his hand out. “Dance with me.” The thought of dancing with Dane made my body tingle. Dancing with him was like ha**ng s*x with your clothes on; our bodies said what our lips didn’t.

We danced for most of the evening, only breaking for a quick drink. Even when slow songs would turn to fast ones we stayed close, our arms wrapped tightly around each other. He had his lips pressed against my cheek and when he spoke it felt like a soft warm kiss on my skin. “Are you having a good time?”

“I am now.”

“Do you want to have a big wedding?” he asked. This wasn’t the first time he had referenced marriage in some way and it always made me a mixture of nervousness and elation. I was nervous, because a big part of me didn’t think I could ever have this. My parents would never approve of Dane and give me their blessing. Anything I had with Dane beyond what we had now would be an uphill battle. I was elated, because he was thinking about it. He wouldn’t be asking about weddings if he wanted to completely avoid them. Did he see me as his forever? “Baby?”

I shook my thoughts. “No, I don’t want a big wedding. I want something simple and intimate. I don’t know if I will get that if my mother’s in charge.” Just thinking about planning a wedding with her made me sick.

“Your wedding should be exactly like you picture it. I hope when the time comes, my badass Alex comes out like she did today. You should have seen your mother’s face.” I hadn’t glanced back as we walked away from her. If I had, I would have broken down and did as she wanted. I had always been that weak.

“It isn’t always that easy,” I said, honestly. “Do you want a big wedding?”

He pulled back and looked right into my eyes. “I didn’t want a wedding at all until this certain girl popped into my life. Now I want whatever she wants. I would do anything to make her happy.” Swoon. It was a good thing he was holding me because my knees went weak before I kissed him.

“I love you.” It was all I could say. It was honest, and in this moment my heart was full of it.

He kissed me again. “I love you, too.”

We stayed on the dance floor until the music stopped and the lights came on. It was one of the best nights of my life. I should have known it was telling. Happy moments never lasted long for me.

Dane was lying on his back with me nestled in the crook of his arm. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. I rubbed my index finger over his face, memorizing all of it. His nose looked like it had been broken a time or two, but I loved how it looked on him. His eyelashes were thick and long, the type every girl dreamed of but often seemed to be wasted on men. His lips were perfect; I couldn’t help but use a light kiss to explore that part of him. I was still on a cloud from the night before; nothing was going to stop me today.

I crawled out of bed, threw on a t-shirt and my robe, and headed downstairs to grab us some coffee. It was early and I wanted to beat everyone else to the kitchen. My plan was to “sleep” in my room until brunch and the gift opening at eleven then leave immediately after. I needed to stay away from my mother as much as possible.

The house was quiet as I stood waiting for my morning coffee to brew. I thought about all the events from the day before and it made me feel elated, yet a little nervous. Elated I finally stood up to my mother, even if it was a rather small issue, and nervous for the same. I knew my mother; she would hold a grudge. Even if I avoided her today, she would get me back somehow. I took two coffee cups out of the cupboard and began to poor coffee into them when I heard my mother’s heels clicking on the marble in the foyer. I immediately started to panic; it was almost impossible to get enough air into my lungs. I couldn’t avoid her today and I was alone.