Plastic Hearts

He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing my hand in his. He stared at me for a while without speaking. “You look beautiful.”

I smiled. “You look good yourself.”

Dinner was even better than the first night we were here. You always hear about couples that have a restaurant they go to on every anniversary because it was their place and I imagined if Dane and I got married, this would be our place. Marriage may never be in the cards for us, but for a moment I imagined how nice it would be if it was.

I was so nervous about the gifts I had picked out for him that I could barely concentrate on what he was saying. Should I give them to him now or wait? What if he didn’t get me anything and I made him feel bad? I decided to keep it in my purse until later, hoping for the right opportunity.

He paid for dinner and we walked back to my car, hand in hand. I’d never had such a desire to touch a man. Usually it was something I felt inclined to do because I was in a relationship, but with Dane I couldn’t get enough. I think I surprised him when I turned and wrapped my arms around him, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck. I felt safe and comfortable; I could stay in this moment forever. When he cupped my face and kissed me on the forehead, I felt like the only girl in the whole city. There was so much care in his touch; he made me feel appreciated. I finally let him go as we drove back to his apartment in silence.

I wasn’t ready for the evening to be over and I hadn’t given him his gift. “Do you want me to come up?” I asked. I couldn’t believe these words were coming out of my mouth. A couple weeks ago, they would have petrified me, but every day I felt more comfortable around Dane.

“I assumed you would. I have something for you,” he said with mischief in his eyes. He jumped out of the car and ran around to open my door, offering me his hand. I think I swooned a little bit; this was the type of thing movies were made from.

His apartment was just like I remembered it the first time I was here: very clean and organized. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked.

“I better stick to water. I have class tomorrow.” I learned my lesson the last time I drank and wound up in Dane’s apartment.

He brought me a bottle of water and a beer for himself. I didn’t say anything as I watched him take sips from his beer. He looked at me with a knowing grin; Dane Wright knew how sexy he was and how to use it to his advantage.

I cleared my throat. “I have something for you too.” My hand trembled as I reached in my bag and handed him his gift.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” His smile absolutely melted me. I wondered if he’d received gifts when he was younger since his parents weren’t really around. I could picture Dane giving his brother Christmas presents while getting nothing for himself; he was as unselfish as they come.

“I wanted to. Open it.”

I waited nervously, ringing my hands together as he opened the envelope. I had carefully picked out a card that didn’t say, “I love you”, but didn’t sound too impersonal either. I settled on one that talked about happy moments shared in the past and those yet to come. Dane smiled as he read it before lifting his eyes to mine. I smiled back, motioning for him to look in the envelope. He removed the two music festival tickets, grinning like a child in an ice cream shop. “I can’t believe you got these. You remembered. I know who’s getting the second ticket.”

“Who?” I asked, genuinely perplexed.

“You. Who else would I give it to?” He cocked his head to the side and looked at me like I had just called him by the wrong name.

“We’ll see.” It probably wasn’t the right time to tell him that I didn’t think we would be together then. I would be back in Greenwich and he would be living his life in the city. I motioned back toward the envelope. “There’s more.”

He reached behind the tickets and pulled out the gift certificate to the tattoo parlor. Now he was grinning like a five year old on Christmas. “Thank you, Baby. You have to come with me when I use this. Maybe you can get one, too.”

“Well, I’m glad you like it, but a big no to the tattoo for me. My parents would disown me.” This might be an exaggeration when some people say it, but for me it’s the absolute truth. My mother in particular would flip out if I marked my skin.

“You’re an adult and you can do whatever you want to do. If you want a tattoo, get one.”

“We’ll see,” I said, glancing around the room for any hint of my gift.

“But really, this is great. You don’t know how much this means to me. No one has ever actually bought me anything besides of my mother, and that was only when she was sober.” He gave me a soft kiss on the lips followed by another on the tip of my nose. “Let me go get your gift.”

He disappeared into his bedroom and I felt a dozen butterflies in my stomach. The anticipation was killing me. He returned with a large box wrapped with a red bow around it. “I’m sorry. I can’t wrap to save my life,” he said, handing me the box.

“It’s okay.” I nervously untied the bow and opened the box. Inside was one very new, very real, dark purple leather bomber jacket. “Dane, this is too much!” I ran my finger over the nice smooth leather before bringing it to my nose. I loved the smell of real leather.

“You’re worth it,” he said, stepping closer to me.

I lunged at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck as I planted kisses all over his cheek. “I love it,” I said before pressing my lips to his neck.

“I can’t wait to see it on you,” he whispered as he kissed me below my ear. When his lips finally met mine again, his tongue pressed against them and I opened to allow us to taste each other with the kiss. He kissed like his life depended on our connection, like it was his first kiss and his last kiss and the only kiss that had ever really mattered.

Before I realized what had happened, my back was on the couch and he was nestled between my legs, my skirt working itself up my thigh. He slowly unbuttoned the top three buttons of my shirtdress, exposing my bra and cupped one breast in his hand while the other worked its way through my hair, his lips never leaving mine. All I could think about was him: his scent, his taste and his body pressed against mine. When he pulled one side of my bra down and teased my nipple between his fingers I thought about stopping him, but I couldn’t. My body had never felt so aware, or so hungry. I wanted Dane; his touch and his kisses made me feel everything. He started to kiss his way down so his mouth was where his fingers had been, rolling my nipple with his tongue. I could feel his excitement pressed against my leg and something inside propelled me to touch him, running my hand over his slacks. He ran his hand up my leg before pushing my panties aside, settling it between my legs as he started moving his fingers against me, shooting electricity through my whole body. It was like nothing I had ever felt before.

For a few minutes I forgot my name, my life; all I felt was the gorgeous man on top of me, sending jolts of lust through places I didn’t even know existed. I never let myself feel this way: so free, so open, so willing to do new things. Dane made me want more. I finally came undone, saying his name before he captured my mouth with his again. He lifted himself up and started pulling my panties down, but I grabbed his hands, freezing him in place. “I don’t want to go any further, okay?” My body was singing for me to experience everything with Dane, but my mind wasn’t quite ready to take that step.

He gave me a questioning look before climbing back up my body, cupping my face in his hands. I could smell my arousal on him and it shot more warmth through me. “Do you want to stop?”

“I don’t want to go any further, not now.” I gave him a kiss on the tip of his chin while running my hands through his hair.

He sighed, but a sated smile touched his lips. “I might need to go take a cold shower.”

“I should probably tell you something.” I bit my lower lip, trying to work up the courage to have “the talk”. This was a conversation I’d had with other guys, but they were easy to deny. Dane was different; I could see myself giving this part of me to him and it made me really nervous.

“You can tell me anything, Gorgeous.” His eyes were looking right into mine and the warmth behind them helped me relax.

“I’m a virgin.” The words came out so quickly and quietly that I was not even sure if he understood what I said, but his body went completely still.

He finally blinked. “What?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve never had sex before.”

He pushed up so he was supporting himself with an arm on either side of me. “What? Why?”

“I guess I’ve never found the guy who deserves all of me yet. I want it to be special and really, I would like it to be the guy I’ll be with for the rest of my life.” My voice was shaking as I thought about the meaning behind what I said. I was talking about forevers and happily ever afters.

“I’ve never been anyone’s first. I can’t,” he said, shaking his head.

“What are you talking about, Dane?” He was making me nervous; I hoped my little admission wasn’t a deal breaker. I knew I wasn’t the type of girl Dane was used to, but he was certainly not the type of guy I was used to either.

He tilted his head to the side. “I’ve had my share of girls, but I’ve never had anything serious. I would hate it if my sister lost her virginity to some prick like me. I don’t deserve it.” His words ripped through me. I hated that he thought of himself like that; if he could only see what I see.

“What if you’re the one I want to give it to?” I cupped his face in my hands and ran my thumbs over his cheekbones.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I still can’t believe you’re mine. When the time comes, if you’re sure-”

I cut him off. “If I do anything, it’s because I’m sure. I won’t do anything I don’t want to do. I’m just not ready now.”