Plastic Hearts

Dane and I talked while I got ready for class. I still needed to put my clothes on, but that wasn’t going to happen while he was still in my room. “I need to get dressed,” I said, as I pulled clothes out of my closet and placed them on the bed.

“I’ll turn around, no peeking I swear.” His mouth turned up at one side as he looked at me with mischief in his eyes. While I trusted him, he was still a guy and they couldn’t be trusted under these circumstances. I stared at him for a moment, silently pleading before he spoke again. “I’ll step out in the hall if you do one thing for me first.”

I eyed him suspiciously, “And what’s that?”

His eyes lowered, “Kiss me.”

My stomach fluttered as I stood on my tippy toes to kiss his cheek, but before I could react he cupped my face in his hands and locked his lips on mine. His mouth was warm and soft as he massaged my lips with passion and desire. He worshipped my tongue with his own as his fingers coiled in my hair, sending a tingle through my body. I’d never done anything crazy like bungee jumping or skydiving, but I imagined this was what falling must feel like; the euphoria and bliss mixed with a little bit of danger. Just as I reached behind his back to bring his body closer to mine he pulled away, looking at me through dark, hooded eyes. I could feel his warm breath on my face, but my body felt cold and my knees were weak. I needed the connection back.

I wanted to kiss him again, but he stopped me by placing his finger on my lips. “You better get dressed,” he whispered, rubbing his thumb over my lips. He kissed me softly one more time before he left my room without saying another word.

I stood there motionless for several minutes, rubbing my fingers over my lips. Every time he kissed me it was better than the last. Was it possible for every kiss to be the best kiss? It was when your boyfriend was Dane Wright. I turned to grab my clothes from the bed and dressed quickly. I was going to walk to class as Dane Wright’s girlfriend; someone may need to pinch me.

Dane carried my bag as we walked to class. At one point, he reached for my hand, entwining our fingers. No one would’ve guessed a couple weeks ago that Dane would be holding my hand as we walked to class; I couldn’t believe it myself.

During class, he found every little excuse to touch me, pointing to my notes, making sure our fingers brushed. He tapped his toe lightly on mine a few times and every time I would look over to see him smiling. I liked the smiling Dane over the arrogant one; it looked really nice on him.

We walked to the Student Center for lunch after class was over. Jade was sitting at our usual table with the lunch boys and grinned from ear to ear when she saw us walking toward them. She may have been even more excited about my new relationship than I was. For the moment, I was enjoying Dane and all the happiness he was giving me.

Everyone was staring at us as we sat down. It was like I had something written on my forehead with an arrow pointing to Dane as eyes found me and then moved to him. “You guys know Dane, right?” No one spoke, but I did get a few nods. “What? Do I have something on my face?” I asked, drawing their attention back to me.

“You guys are, like, together? I mean, you’re eating lunch together by choice?” Chris asked, searching my face.

Jade laughed as she answered for me. “Wow, you really are a genius.” Now everyone was laughing as the tension dissipated.

“And you’re smiling. I don’t know if I have ever seen you smile and believed it,” Chris added. I smiled even bigger as Dane leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek.

I shrugged. “Thanks.”

We talked about a band that was playing at Loft 10 on Friday night. Dane had to work, but he said we should all come and he would save us a table. I was happy that this part of my life was meshing well with my new boyfriend. It was nice to have someone to hang out with besides Jade. I hadn’t spent much time getting to know anyone besides her since I arrived at school, so much of my time was spent studying, but I had to admit it was nice to have a balance.

Later that night, Dane took me to his favorite pizza place for dinner. It was a small place that sold pizza by the slice. We took a seat at one of the small tables adorned with a red and white, checkered table cloth. The place was cute and perfect for a date; the fact that he wasn’t trying too hard to impress me put a smile on my face. Dane was real; what you saw was what you got.

“How was class this afternoon?” he asked, as he sprinkled red pepper flakes on his slice.

“It was okay.”

“Why do you do it? Why do you continue to take classes in something you have no interest in?” He stared into my eyes and I knew my only option was to tell the truth.

“My parents have very strong opinions and going against their wishes would cost me everything. It may be hard to understand now, but if you met them you would totally get it. My life is good as long as I don’t rock the boat.” I peeled the cheese off my pizza and placed it in my mouth.

“Is your life really that good?” he challenged me. His eyes hadn’t left my face during this whole exchange.

“It is at this moment.” I winked and realized that I, Alexandra Riley, was flirting.

“That isn’t what I meant. You could be working toward your art degree right now, but instead you’re wasting your time in Pre-Med just to keep your parents happy. What are you going to do when you are done with Pre-Med? Go on to Med school? Do you have any intention of pursuing an art career?” His line of questioning frustrated me, but then again my life in general was frustrating.

The thought of having to go to Med School and work as a doctor the rest of my life was depressing. When I was in elementary school, my art teacher showered me with kind words and encouragement. She was like sunshine on my pale skin. She was everything that my mother wasn’t. As a little girl, you want your mother to do things with you. You want to share moments full of laughter, creating memories, and I didn’t have that. My mom was always working on this charity or that, worrying about who had RSVP’d to the next big event or who her tennis partner was for the day. She had a hair appointment on Monday, manicure and pedicure on Wednesday, and massage on Thursday. Tuesdays were spent shopping with her friends and Fridays were spent getting ready for the weekend’s events. I had nannies who were nice, but I really wanted, and needed, my mom.

Dad wasn’t much better. He worked a lot and even when he wasn’t supposed to be working, he got called in. If I didn’t know better, I would say he wanted to avoid my mother just as much as I wished she would spend some more time with me. I never saw them kiss or hug in private, but if they were at an event Dad would place a hand on her back and she would smile at him. Her smile was as plastic as a Hollywood housewife’s face and I wondered if I was the only one who noticed.

“Earth to Alex,” Dane said, waving a hand in front of me. I startled, breaking my thoughts.

“Sorry, I was just thinking. I, uh, actually haven’t decided what I’m going to do.” I took my eyes off him, focusing them on my plate. “I mean, I know what I want to do obviously, but I haven’t decided what I’m going to do. Can we just leave it at that for now?”

“I’ll leave it alone for now, but I’m not going to let this go.” His hands were fisted on top of the table and I could feel the frustration rolling off his body. It was time for a subject change.

“What about you? What does your mom want you to do?”

He laughed. “Oh, Baby, my mom was just surprised that I finished high school. Nolan didn’t get that accomplished so, at this point, I’m the golden child.”

“Didn’t she have anything she wanted you to become when you were growing up?” I leaned forward in my chair in an effort to take in every word. There was so much about him I still didn’t know.

“That would be a no. My mom was drunk most of the time. In fact, she’s only been sober these last couple years. I practically raised Nolan; I didn’t do a very good job of it, but I did what I could.” He avoided my eyes as he popped the last piece of crust into his mouth.

“So what does Nolan do now?” I asked, my voice soft. He talked about Nolan just enough that I knew he was his brother, but the rest was a mystery.

His lips pressed tight as his eyes focused back on me. “Last I checked, he was earning money selling drugs. I don’t think it’s his dream job, but it supports his own habit.”

His words pulled at my heart as I reached across the table to take his hand in mine. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand.

“Do you see your mom often?”

“She has dinner at her house once a month. I try to make it and Nolan shows up when he can.”

“That’s good.” I guess it doesn’t matter if you have money or not. Dane and I are just people when you strip away all the material things. We have the same issues; we just sleep in different houses and drive in separate cars.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was ready to end this conversation and he reached for my hand. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, I have a paper to write.” I could feel the tension radiating off of him and reached up to place a soft kiss on his lips. He seemed surprised for a moment before reaching behind my back with our clasped hands to pull me closer. This kiss was full of so much need and hunger that I forgot I was standing in the middle of a pizza shop. He finally broke away just enough to smile against my lips before kissing the top of my nose.

“Are you sure you want to go back and write that paper?” he whispered, his face only inches from mine.

I could feel my face flushing. “Yes, I need to write that paper.”

He placed another soft kiss on my lips. “If you say so.”

He walked me back to my dorm and gave me a proper goodnight kiss. I decided that if I died at this moment I would be happy because I now knew what a body-melting kiss felt like.

As I settled into bed later that night, my phone beeped.

Dane: Sweet dreams, Baby.