Plastic Hearts

“Actually, that might help soak up some of this alcohol. Make it plain, though. I don’t think I can handle anything else right now.” He headed back toward the kitchen as I downed the pills with slow sips of water. I took in the rest of the apartment; it was masculine with black and grey décor. There was a guitar in the corner, a couple of art pieces on the wall and several metal sculptures on top of a sofa table. The place was surprisingly clean for a college guy.

“Here you go. Hope I made it right.”

“It’s pretty hard to screw up toast.” I would have rolled my eyes if my head didn’t hurt so much. This wasn’t the first time someone talked to me as if I was some sort of spoiled brat. I hated it and the banging in my head made my appreciate it even less.

“Well, it’s just white. Not wheat. Not rye. Not whole grain or whatever you chicks eat.”

He was looking down at me with his arms crossed and a stupid grin plastered on his face. Part of me wanted to look at that grin forever and the other part of me wanted to slap it off his face.

“I’m good, really. Do you always take girls home from the bar and into your bed? Wait, don’t answer that. I probably already know the answer.”

“Relax. I helped you up here, took your boots off, and tucked you into bed. Trust me, I could have easily taken advantage of the situation, but I was a good boy and slept on the couch.” I looked at that couch. It had a blanket on one end with a pillow in the same grey as the sheets on the bed. “You really shouldn’t drink yourself into a stupor when you are in a bar alone. Lots of things can happen to a girl like you.” His eyes looked at me with something other than anger. Concern, maybe?

“Well, thank you. I’ll keep that in mind next time,” I mumbled, trying not to anger my pounding head anymore than it already was. I was embarrassed that I drank so much last night and that I ended up in his apartment; annoyed that he was so happy in the morning and flustered by his early morning lecture. Looking at the clock on the wall, I noticed it was almost noon. “I should probably go home. I have lots of studying to do.”

“It’s Saturday,” he said, lifting a brow in my direction. I couldn’t expect him to understand how much study time my degree required. I picked up my purse and coat and started toward the door, muttering a quick thank you.

“Alex, wait.” I glanced back at him, but did not move. “I just wanted to say again how sorry I am about yesterday.”

I turned so that every part of my body faced him. “Don’t worry about it. I kind of created this mess on my own,” I said, giving him a slight smile. I turned to head back toward the door, stopping to put my coat on. My issues had nothing to do with Dane and my anger yesterday had been a knee jerk reaction.

I tried to tell him thank you again, but the look on his face stopped me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead remained silent. After a few seconds of silence, I left his building and made the trek back to my dorm.

I cursed Jade for leaving me at the bar alone as soon as I walked into the room. Of course she reminded me that she had asked and that I had given her the okay. She had the biggest grin on her face when I told her how I found myself waking up in Dane’s bed. From the look on her face, she thought something happened between Dane and I, which was far from the truth. I quickly corrected her, but the sly look never left her face. I loved Jade, but I didn’t think she realized how different we were.

Chapter Six

I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Dane when Monday rolled around. Okay, maybe there was a small part of me that was looking forward to seeing him. He was the only person I had ever met that could excite me and frustrate me at the same time. I arrived before he did and waited for him to make his grand entrance. With Dane, everything was a grand entrance.

When he walked in wearing faded jeans that sat low on his h*ps and a charcoal grey Henley, my mouth may have dropped open just a bit. His eyes met mine and he smiled, showing me his signature dimple. “Good morning. I thought you should know that it kind of sucked not waking up with you in my bed this morning.” I looked around to make sure no one else had heard him. I didn’t need the rumor mill kicked into high gear.

“Well, you are going to have many sucky mornings then,” I said, smirking as I pulled a notebook out of my bag.

“No, Gorgeous, I think you’re wrong. I think my luck is about to change.” He winked. He seriously just winked at me and I felt the elusive butterflies fluttering in my stomach. The thought of spending more time with him excited me, but it couldn’t happen. I wasn’t a fan of trying something when I knew it was destined to fail.

“Do you ever leave your arrogance at home or does it follow you wherever you go?” He laughed before leaning in so we were only inches apart.

“This isn’t arrogance, I’m just honest and soon enough you’ll be honest with yourself and admit that you want me as much as I want you.”

“You’re not my type,” I muttered, looking up into his eyes. He ran his hand through his short hair as he studied me with so much intensity I feared he could see right through me.

“Okay, why don’t you give me a chance before you draw any conclusions? Go out with me on Thursday night. There’s a DJ playing at the club that I’ve heard is really good. And we already know that we move pretty well together.” He sat back in his chair, studying me intently. If he looked at me like that for too long, I was going to lose my resolve.

“Not going to happen.” I moved my eyes to my desk, tracing the faux wood marks with my finger before looking back up.

“Just one date and if you don’t have a good time, we don’t have to go out again. But give me one night.” I made the mistake of looking into his eyes then; they were pleading with me to say yes and I couldn’t look away this time.

What did I have to lose by going out with him for one night? It might turn into a complete mess, but after that he would leave me alone, or so I hoped. “Fine, I’ll go with you on Thursday, but if you try anything, it’s over. I mean it, Dane.”

“Whatever you say, Gorgeous, whatever you say.”

The lecture finally began. Every time I glanced at Dane, he had one side of his mouth turned up. I had to admit I felt a bit of excitement at the prospect of going out with Dane. At the very least, I would have a great dance partner for one night.

I decided not to avoid the student center at lunchtime and joined Jade at our usual table. I had been trying to stay away to avoid another run in with Dane, but that didn’t seem necessary anymore. Jade looked up at me with her signature, teeth bearing smile as I took the seat beside her. “Decided to face the music today, did you? I guess since you spent the night at his apartment on Friday, you have nothing more to hide?”

“Actually, speaking of Dane, I agreed to go to the club with him on Thursday. There’s a guest DJ playing in town.” Her eyes were huge as she processed what I just told her.

“Are you kidding?”

“No. I figured if I said yes, he would leave me alone.” I didn’t add the part where I was actually a little excited about hanging out with him.

“Oh honey, after you go out with that boy once, you will be eating out of his palm. Trust me.” There was some wickedness in her eyes, but I knew she was wrong. I couldn’t have him even if I wanted him.

My world was so confusing.

My parents were proud of me when I was dating some rich, educated boy whom I usually had a hard time connecting with, but Jade was proud of me for taking a risk and going for the boy that I knew my parents would never accept. All Jade had talked about since yesterday was my impending date with Dane while I dodged phone calls from my mother. Talking to her and knowing I was breaking her rules made me feel guilty because I wasn’t used to deceiving her. How did I get to the point where doing something that made me genuinely happy also made me feel like a bad person? I knew it wasn’t right to feel this way, but I couldn’t stop it. My parents were constantly in my head, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. The longer I listened to them, the more resentment I felt.

My mother called again on Tuesday night. I couldn’t avoid it much longer - she would have her driver come looking for me again - so I picked it up on the fifth ring.

“Hello,” I grimaced.

“Alexandra, we need to talk.” This woman didn’t mince her words and I could only imagine what I had coming. She always called with a purpose and not one had ever pleased me.

“Um, yes?” I said, biting my lip so hard that I could taste blood. I would like to say that my mother didn’t scare me, but that would be a lie. She scared the hell out of me.

“Have you talked to Ryan? I saw his mother at the gym today and she was giving me the cold shoulder. I can’t have this, Alexandra. We’re on the planning board for the Children’s Hospital Gala together and I don’t need you ruining this for me. This is quite possibly the biggest event of the year and everyone who is anyone will be in attendance.” My lip trembled as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, taking in every word. Her words cut me. There was no concern for my feelings, but she was very concerned about her precious gala. Was I used to this? Yes. Did it hurt any less when it happened? No.

“Mother, Ryan and I are a country apart and things just aren’t working right now. It’s hard to carry on a relationship when we only see each other on break and I think it’s important that we both focus on school.” I tried to speak in a normal voice, but it was shaky as I choked back the tears.

“All the men in his family attend Stanford. You know that.” I wanted to hang up the phone so badly. She didn’t get it and never would.

“I know he had to go to Stanford, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are hours and miles apart.”

“Is this still just a break, Alexandra?” There was so much vile in her voice. This was more of an order than a question. We both knew that.

“Yes,” I lied, sucking in a deep breath.