Perfectly Imperfect

“He’s right,” Kirby interjects. “I might not have to deal with the body issues like you two do and have, but being on the smallest side of skinny, I’ve always had to deal with people laughing at me because I was so small. There isn’t just one way for a body to be for someone to have confidence issues, Willow. You don’t see how beautiful you are because you’re too busy hiding to avoid more pain.”

I wipe the tears that have begun burning down my cheeks and take in my two best friends. They’re right. I know they are. But I’ve also had years of behavior that is hard to shake just because I know they have a point. I’ve been in this position before when an attractive man paid attention to me, and I’ve been picking up the pieces since. It’s hard to trust the strength I’ve worked so hard to obtain and take a chance when it could cause me much more pain than Brad did. I have a feeling a man like Kane Masters would leave an emotional scar more painful than any physical marking if it went the same way as my last relationship.

“He’s met me twice, guys. Twice when I’ve been at some of my lowest of lows. How do you expect me to believe he saw something sexy enough to pursue during those times?”

Kirby smiles sadly. “Because, like us, he can see past all the bullshit and just see you. The Willow who is stunning inside and out. Let me ask you something. Can you honestly sit here and tell me that if you turn this opportunity down, you won’t regret it?”

No, I can’t, and she knows it.

“This whole situation is so far out of my comfort zone that I’m terrified down to my bones. He. Is. Terrifying.”

“Sweet Willow.” Eddie laughs. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that life starts at the end of your comfort zone? When you break free of the fears that have held you back, you’re going to be free to fly, and that, honey, is when you’re going to find the happiness you deserve. But you have to start somewhere. You have to push that fear aside and just wing it—trusting you will never be alone should you fall.”

With a deep breath, I do just as Eddie suggested. Despite the fear clawing at my insides, I look at Kirby and tell her that I’ll be on that flight with her Monday. This is my chance to prove to myself that I’m not the weak Willow of my past. Take a chance, they say. Well, maybe they’re right. It’s time I take the last remnants of the old me and be the strong person I know I can be.

“Willow?” Eddie questions softly.

Turning, I look into his eyes. “Yeah?”

“You’ve come so far, honey. Promise me that you’ll try and look over those walls you’ve trapped yourself inside.”

I nod, not trusting my voice. Eddie reaches up and brushes the lone tear that trails down my cheeks. “I’m ready, Eddie. As scary as that is … I promise to go into this adventure with an open mind.”

“Even if that adventure takes you to Kane?” he asks softly.

I take a fortifying breath before speaking, a small smile playing across my lips. “Even if,” I promise.

I’m going to be sick with worry all week wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake, but they’re right. I would regret this if I said no, and maybe, just maybe, this is what I need to find some happiness.

I’M GOING TO BE SICK.

My nerves are going haywire, and ever since our plane took off from JFK, I’ve been a jittery mess. By the time we touched down in Atlanta, I would have been a certifiable mess had it not been for Alli, Kirby’s daughter. Her excitement has been a blessing of distraction. Keeping me company during our short flight, we gossiped and talked every minute that the plane was in the air. Watching her enthusiasm over this ‘vacation’ has worked to ease some of my nerves, but not all of them. At this rate, by the time we land and make it to our temporary housing courtesy of Masters Entertainment, I’ll have no nails left on any of my fingers.

Following Kirby’s lead, I went with jeans and a simple tee shirt with a light jacket. Both of us being born and raised in New York, we weren’t sure what to expect from early fall in Georgia. From what we could tell, weather there was in the low seventies, but from what Kirby’s husband said, add the humidity and you never know what you’ll get. The weather in the South is a crapshoot.

I had never been to the airport here in Atlanta. From the second we debarked the plane, it’s been insanity. Their transit system used to travel from point A to B within their massive airport was a rush of tired bodies. And the escalators toward the baggage claim seem to be sending us to the heavens. Add that to the feeling of hundreds of people pushing their way out of the airport and I couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. I’m used to crowds—we’re no stranger to them in New York City—but here, with all of us being carted up to the mysterious top level of these never-ending stairs to heaven, it’s taken to a whole new level. I’m pretty sure the older businessman behind me just sniffed my hair, and Alli’s Barbie backpack is digging uncomfortably into my stomach.

I hate escalators. I swear they’re just a step above some sort of barbaric torture device.

What a great way to start this little adventure.

“This way, Will,” Kirby tells me loud enough to be heard over the people swarming around us like bees.

I follow the finger she’s pointing toward the long line of people waiting behind some weird barricade and see the group of bad suit wearing men holding iPads with names displayed on their screens.

“There, on the end,” I hear Alli’s melodious voice exclaim, pointing just like her mother.

How they can see around all these bodies is beyond me. I can’t even say it’s because Kirby is a few inches taller than my five-foot-seven. If Alli can see whatever it is¸ then I’m just lacking brain function today.

We walk around a few hugging couples and groups of families welcoming home their loved ones. I feel a twinge in my chest knowing I won’t ever have something like that, but really, if having the two most negative people out of my life means I won’t have a crying family to welcome me home, then I consider that a win on my end.

I almost run Kirby over when she abruptly stops walking. I look up and catch her smile at the tall man before her. He’s like a human wall of muscle and intimidation. But, if judging by his all-black clothing, he and I could be good friends.

The man before us, despite being indoors, has dark glasses shielding his eyes.