Perfecting Patience

I heard a car pull up and then I heard Zeke call my name, but I ignored him. I turned away from my name and ran up the stairs. As quickly as I could, I unlocked my front door and ran to my bathroom.

Locking the bathroom door behind me, I went for the top of the medicine cabinet. My nails scratched at the faded white metal and made me flinch. As quickly as I could, I emptied the last pill in the sandwich bag into my palm and tossed it into my mouth and under my tongue. The bitter bite swarmed my mouth and made my jaws lock.

Falling to the tile floor, I rocked back and forth until I could feel the relaxation spread through my arms and legs. Finally the fog cleared, I breathed in a deep breath, and the shaking stopped. It was then I noticed Zeke beating on the door and calling my name in a panic.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t know what I did, but please open the door.” The door rattled on its hinges. “Snowflake, let me in. Let’s talk about whatever it is.”

I pushed myself from the floor and opened the door. He stood there holding his arm to his chest, sweat forming on his forehead. His dark-brown eyes took me in from head to toe and his eyebrows pinched in confusion.

“What’s going on? What did I do?” He pushed into the small space and pulled me to him.

“Nothing, sweetie. I just had to pee really bad.”

I was getting better with the quick white lies. It was a bad thing to be good at, but it worked.

He looked at me like I was crazy, then tucked a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear. His eyes roamed my face and made me feel nervous.

“You ran all the way here from the café, which has a bathroom, just to use the bathroom?”

I stuttered for a bit and then smiled sweetly up at him the way I knew he liked.

“There were so many people there. Did you see the line to the bathroom? I was trying to get your attention, but you were talking to the waitress and I couldn’t wait any longer. I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”

I squeezed by him and walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. The nasty taste of the pill was caked on my tongue and made me feel a little sick to my stomach.

He followed me and put his arms around me from behind. Rubbing my stomach, he breathed me in and planted a tiny kiss on the back of my neck.

“No worries, babe.”

I skipped practice that afternoon and we spent the rest of the night watching movies and doing homework together. Zeke was actually pretty damn good with numbers, so he did most of my probability and statistics work. I was never more grateful to have him near me.

I was taking some pretty rough classes since I’d finally changed my undecided status to a psychology major. The more I Googled stuff about my mental problems, the more I enjoyed reading about the different kinds of phobias and medications. If anyone knew about being a mess in the head, it was me.

The next day, I missed my first class to go with him to his first physical therapy appointment. He finally had the cast removed and was able to wiggle his fingers, but I could tell by the look on his face that it was still painful.

“Okay, Mr. Mitchell, I’ll see you next week. Enjoy your weekend, but be easy with that hand. Just because the cast is gone doesn’t mean you should be doing anything too strenuous.”

“Got it, doc. No fighting or playing.” Zeke winked over at me.

After getting a new prescription for pain medication and paying the bill, we were done.

“I can’t wait to get my hands on my guitar,” he said with a big smile as he held the door open for me. “But first I want to fill my hands with this.” He pulled me into his arms and grabbed my ass.

I smacked at his good hand, and my laughter drew more attention to us.

“That sounds great, but first, I have a class.”

He drove me to class and I kissed him softly on the lips. His fingers dug into my hairline as he pulled me closer.

“I never get enough of you,” he whispered against my lips.

“Good,” I said as I popped open the passenger’s door.

“I’ll be here at three to pick you up.”

“See you then.”

I shut the door behind me and then leaned down to look at him through the glass. Kissing my fingers, I blew him a kiss through the window. He playfully pretended to catch it and put it against his mouth. I smiled. Usually when I did that, he’d catch it and grab the crotch of his pants in a joke.

Before putting the car in reverse, he mouthed the word “forever” to me. I could only hope we lasted forever. I wanted him forever, and I was positive he felt the same, but the fear of him finding out about my dishonesty weighed heavy on my heart.