Perfect Time

"When you're done contemplating what it is I mean to you. Call me, or not. Whatever. I'm so tired of waiting for you to decide whether I should be part of your life." his words hurts. Eventhough I know what to say to him, I just kept quiet and stared at him. I know I want him in my life but I don't know why I'm so scared to let him in. I have been scared to be committed to anyone. I don't like to commit in a relationship that I know later on would bring pain to me and him.

They may say i'm screwed in the head. Scared of nothing but myself. Scared to ruin something special that would mean everything to me. I don't trust myself because I know I ruin everything.

I watched as he started to leave. I just watched his back as he went out of the door. I still stared at the door even after he left a few minutes ago.

No. No tears. Just a frown. A calmness overflowed me when I realized that it's for the best.

I don't know when will I learn to let go and try to love. to commit.

Maybe when the perfect time comes. but when is the perfect time?