Pamela, Or Virtue Rewarded

'DEAREST MADAM, 'I am utterly confounded, and must plead guilty to all your just

reproaches. I wish I were master of all but half your caution and

discretion! I hope, after all, this is only a touch of this ill woman's

temper, to shew her power and importance: For I think Mr. B---- neither

can nor dare deceive me in so black a manner. I would expose him all the

world over if he did. But it is not, cannot be in him. I have received

a letter from John Arnold, in which he tells me, that his master is

preparing for his London journey; and believes, afterwards, he will come

into these parts: But he says, Lady Davers is at their house, and is to

accompany her brother to London, or meet him there, he knows not which.

He professes great zeal and affection to your service: and I find he

refers to a letter he sent me before, but which is not come to my hand.

I think there can be no treachery; for it is a particular friend at

Gainsborough, that I have ordered him to direct to; and this is come

safe to my hands by this means; for well I know, I durst trust nothing

to Brett, at the post-house here. This gives me a little pain; but I

hope all will end well, and we shall soon hear, if it be necessary to

pursue our former intentions. If it be, I will lose no time to provide a

horse for you, and another for myself; for I can never do either God or

myself better service, though I were to forego all my expectations for

it here, I am 'Your most faithful humble servant.'

'I was too free indeed with Mrs. Jewkes, led to it by her dissimulation,

and by her pretended concern to make me happy with you. I hinted, that I

would not have scrupled to have procured your deliverance by any means;

and that I had proposed to you, as the only honourable one, marriage

with me. But I assured her, though she would hardly believe me, that

you discouraged my application: which is too true! But not a word of the

back-door key, etc.' Mrs. Jewkes continues still sullen and ill-natured, and I am almost

afraid to speak to her. She watches me as close as ever, and pretends to

wonder why I shun her company as I do. I have just put under the tiles these lines inspired by my fears, which

are indeed very strong; and, I doubt, not without reason.

'SIR, 'Every thing gives me additional disturbance. The missed letter of John

Arnold's makes me suspect a plot. Yet am I loath to think myself of so

much importance, as to suppose every one in a plot against me. Are you

sure, however, the London journey is not to be a Lincolnshire one? May

not John, who has been once a traitor, be so again?--Why need I be thus

in doubt?--If I could have this horse, I would turn the reins on his

neck, and trust to Providence to guide him for my safeguard! For I would

not endanger you, now just upon the edge of your preferment. Yet, sir, I

fear your fatal openness will make you suspected as accessary, let us be

ever so cautious. 'Were my life in question, instead of my honesty, I would not wish to

involve you, or any body, in the least difficulty, for so worthless a

poor creature. But, O sir! my soul is of equal importance with the soul

of a princess; though my quality is inferior to that of the meanest

slave. 'Save then my innocence, good Heaven! and preserve my mind spotless; and

happy shall I be to lay down my worthless life; and see an end to all my

troubles and anxieties. 'Forgive my impatience: But my presaging mind bodes horrid mischiefs!

Every thing looks dark around me; and this woman's impenetrable

sullenness and silence, without any apparent reason, from a conduct so

very contrary, bid me fear the worst.--blame me, sir, if you think me

wrong; and let me have your advice what to do; which will oblige 'Your most afflicted servant.'