Pamela, Or Virtue Rewarded
Page 141But, sir, said I, you know, that what I did was to try to reconcile my
lady; and, as she herself observed, it was paying her a high regard. It
was so, replied he; but never think of making a compliment to her, or
any body living, at my expense. Besides, she had behaved herself so
intolerably, that I began to think you had stooped too much, and more
than I ought to permit my wife to do; and acts of meanness are what I
can't endure in any body, but especially where I love: and as she had
been guilty of a very signal one, I had much rather have renounced her
at that time, than have been reconciled to her.
Sir, said I, I hope I shall always comport myself so, as not wilfully
to disoblige you for the future; and the rather do I hope this, as I
instance shews me, that I may much offend, without designing it in the
least. Now, Pamela, replied he, don't be too serious: I hope I shan't be a very
tyrannical husband to you: Yet do I not pretend to be perfect, or to
be always governed by reason in my first transports; and I expect, from
your affection, that you will bear with me when you find me wrong. I
have no ungrateful spirit, and can, when cool, enter as impartially
into myself as most men; and then I am always kind and acknowledging, in
proportion as I have been out of the way.
But to convince you, my dear, continued he, of your fault, (I mean, with
regard to the impetuosity of my temper; for there was no fault in your
you came to me, while I was so out of humour, a reception you did not
expect, and a harsh word or two that you did not deserve. Now, had you
not broken in upon me while my anger lasted, but staid till I had come
to you, or sent to desire your company, you'd have seen none of this;
but that affectionate behaviour, which I doubt not you'll always merit,
and I shall always take pleasure in expressing: and in this temper shall
you always find a proper influence over me: But you must not suppose,
whenever I am out of humour, that, in opposing yourself to my passion,
you oppose a proper butt to it; but when you are so good, like the
slender reed, to bend to the hurricane, rather than, like the sturdy
a contrary conduct would uproot you, with all your excellencies, from my
soul. Sir, said I, I will endeavour to conform myself, in all things, to your
will. I make no doubt but you will: and I'll endeavour to make my will
as conformable to reason as I can. And let me tell you, that this belief
of you is one of the inducements I have had to marry at all: for nobody
was more averse to this state than myself; and, now we are upon this
subject, I'll tell you why I was so averse.