One Night Rodeo
Page 73“You couldn’t have warned me? So I had the chance to dress up a little?”
“It doesn’t matter what clothes you have on, dear sister, because you’re wearing the most important thing…the look of a woman in lurve.”
First time Janie had ever called her sister and it choked her up a little. Which of course Lainie noticed.
Lainie said, “You’ll shed a few tears before the day is over, guaranteed.”
She steeled her spine, refusing to bawl in front of all the people who’d known her—and Kyle—for most of their lives.
Harper and Tierney stood in the center of the circle and tried to get everyone’s attention.
Janie leaned over. “Those two are in their element. I swear the Split Rock should start advertising themed private parties and put them in charge. We could make a mint.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on maternity leave?” Lainie pointed out.
“My business brain is still fully functional,” Janie retorted. “Now that we have a little mouth to feed, I’m all about increasing our cash flow so we can afford diapers.”
“Speaking of…Where are your kiddos?” Celia asked.
“With Susan Williams in the first guest room down the hall. Luckily this coincides with naptime.”
Tierney pierced them with a dirty look and her sisters-in-law straightened up immediately.
Celia snickered.
Celia asked Janie, “Who’s the blond?”
“Tobin Hale. He does a lot around here, but he mostly works for Renner. Both Tobin and Fletch are huge favorites of the Mud Lilies.”
Fletch handed out shot glasses and Tobin filled them. But Celia didn’t get one.
Harper motioned her into the center of the circle. “We asked your husband to tell us your favorite shot. And you only get to drink it…if he guessed right.”
Oohs and aahs rang out.
“Kyle guessed…tequila.” Which wasn’t her favorite but it was what led them to the altar.
“Wrong. He said your favorite is a blow job.”
That smarmy jerk.
“But here’s where you get to even the score, because he doesn’t get to drink if he gets this one wrong. So tell us, Celia, what is Kyle’s favorite shot?”
She tapped her chin. “I’ll say, a tasty little one called tie me to the bedpost.”
Laughter pealed through the room.
“And with that, let’s all toast to our newlywed.”
“Celia, take a seat and we’ll play the first game.”
As soon as she sat down, Janie elbowed her. “What?”
“I saved my shot for you since I’m nursing, but for God’s sake be discreet,” Janie whispered. “I don’t want Harper and Tierney, the game Nazis, to catch us cheating.” Janie pointed at something behind them; Celia turned to look and drained the whiskey.
Tierney said, “The name of the first game is pass the penis.”
“Hot damn!” Garnet shouted, only to be shushed by Bernice and the gang.
“The object of this game, just like in hot potato, is to not be holding the penis when the music shuts off. But we’ve spiced up the rules, adding a second part to the game and another chance to win.”
“We’ll be watching to see who fondles BOB the best,” Harper said, “so even if you’re disqualified you’re still in the running for a BOB of your own.”
“BOB.” Lainie repeated. “I hope he comes with a battery pack because the batteries in those things never last.”
“Which is why I like the plug-in types,” Janie offered.
“Nothing compares to the real thing,” Lainie said.
“I cannot wait until I get the all clear to have sex with my husband,” Janie said. “He had to get inventive during those last months of pregnancy when we had beach ball baby between us. Not that coming up with something new has ever been a problem for him.”
“So you can teach an old dog new tricks?” Lainie asked.
“Get used to doing it fast,” Lainie advised. “It’s the only option when you’re horny, the baby has finally gone to sleep, and you just want your man on you and in you now.”
“Uh. TMI about my brothers’ sex lives,” Celia said.
Tierney did the hand-clapping thing again. “So let’s all stand and gather in a circle.”
Harper tugged Celia to her feet. “Our newlywed has volunteered to start the game.”
Celia plastered on a smile, allowing Harper to lead her to the other side of the circle, between Betty and Bootsie, sisters who ran the sale barn. Harper handed Celia a long vibrator in the loudest shade of pink she’d ever seen. “How do you turn it on?”
“Twist the rubber ring on the bottom,” seventy-year-old Bootsie suggested.
Okay. Celia cranked the bottom section clockwise. The phallus almost vibrated right out of her hand.
“Keep a good hold on that model,” Amy-Lynn suggested. “It is pretty intense.”
Even Amy-Lynn, a few years younger than Celia, knew more about vibrators than she did? How mortifying.
“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” blared through the speakers and Celia passed the vibrator to Bonnie, who closed her fist around it and slid it up and down a couple of times. Then she handed it to Amy-Lynn, who brought it up to her lips like she was about to lick it, but she smirked and passed it off to Vivien.