Once Bitten, Twice Shy

He clipped the nails back to expose pink quicks. Was he using the work to avoid answering her question? Finally he released the doe.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“It didn’t teach her anything, either. I can’t do that each time when she’s a mature milk goat.”

They were drifting away from the subject. “But you didn’t answer my question. What did you mean when you said you had no choice?”

He leaned against the stanchion and cleared his throat. “I can’t have children.”

She stared at him. Was he under court order? She took a deep breath and plunged on.

“Why not?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Mumps when I was twelve.”

She let out the breath in a gush of air. He was trying to delicately say that he was sterile. A whole lot better than she had imagined. . . . yet still a blow. Maybe even worse. There was nothing ugly between them. No reason why they couldn’t get married - except one. Children were as much a part of her dreams as a husband was. She could follow her heart and marry the man she loved, but she would never be completely satisfied. Maybe she would even begin to resent him for it.

He was watching her intently and his face was pale under the tan. “I’m sorry. It isn’t one of those things that you tell someone until you’ve already become involved.”

She tucked her hands in her back pockets and stared at the floor. Of all the things Katie discussed with Alex, why hadn’t this subject ever come up? But then, Katie didn’t expect them to hit it off, either. Who would have? The city slicker and the country hick - even Josh had warned her. But no one had warned her about the truth.

“My God, Carmen. It isn’t that bad. We can adopt children. It isn’t like I don’t want children.”

She gnawed on her lower lip. “It wouldn’t be the same. I don’t know if a man can understand this, but I want to hold a baby in my arms and know it’s a part of me and the man I love. I want an infant. You can’t adopt infants.”