Once Bitten

"I think contact is required, as that is how you enthralled him in the first place."

"Think? You think?” My voice bounced off the brick walls, an edge of hysteria touching it. I clamped my teeth shut. Evan had called Bobby a traitor. If I could do this, could make him forget me, it wouldn't matter that he hadn't believed the ruse we'd put on at the park gate.

I had to do this.

I took a deep breath and allowed the thought to add steel to my will. I had to do it. Now to figure out how.

I scanned Evan's face. His pallor had worsened. A thin stream of crimson trailed from his mouth, accenting his ashen color. He'd coughed blood after I punched him—had he ruptured something? He needed to shift and heal himself. I stared into his blank, amber eyes. He couldn't shift. He would sit there until he bled to death if I couldn't undo whatever I'd done. While that might solve our problem, the idea settled like a brick in my stomach. I choked back a frustrated scream. How had I gotten myself into this?

"This is your power.” Nathanial crouched beside me, his hand moving to my shoulder as he watched my face. “Your hunger drove you, made you stronger both physically and psychically than you are, but this is what you can do. Something you must learn to control."

My fists clenched, my nails digging into my palm. I hadn't asked for this. Didn't I have enough to worry about without trying to control a scary ability I hadn't even known existed? Heat flooded to my face, my eyes stinging. “I hate this. I hate you,” I whispered.

Nathanial's hand tightened on my shoulder. A quick spasm he probably wasn't aware of, and I shivered, feeling the contained strength in his grip. Somehow during all this, I'd forgotten the vampire at my side was the biggest predator in the alley.

"What is done is done. You will not die from lack of blood, Kitten. You will lose control and feed on whatever warm body you can find. No thoughts, no compassion. You will feed and you will kill until you have gorged your body enough for your mind to return. And you will remember everything.” He looked away. “Feed when you first feel the need and hunger will not control your actions. Now release him. You are wasting both your and his strength by keeping him enthralled."

Nathanial let go of my shoulder and stood. I hated that his withdrawal left me feeling utterly alone.

I stared at the hunter. How could I undo something I didn't understand? Nathanial had mentioned I'd need contact, so that was a start. Forcing my fists to unclench, I reached for the hunter's hand.

When I touched him, the sharp need in his face softened, his lips parting, and his pupils dilating as open adoration took over his features. I jerked back, dropping his hand. What the—

"It is not love,” Nathanial whispered. “It is lust. Mezmers typically manipulate either fear or lust. You must have grabbed hold of his lust and magnified it."

I shook my head, not disagreeing, but trying to shake away the memory pressing down on me of those moments before my fangs pierced Evan's throat. I'd tasted his fear and excitement, and I'd thought of him, for a moment, as prey. Prey fleeing predators reeked of their fear. Would I really have ripped out his throat if his fear had been what this vamp power had latched onto? A shiver crawled down my spine. I hadn't been thinking clearly, but the memory was all too vivid.

"Now what?” I asked, not trusting my voice louder than a whisper.

"It is not a power I have, Kita, so I cannot guide you. Command him. Send him away. That is the best you can do."

The best I could do? Surely I could do better than sending him out of sight to die. I reached for his hand again, and managed not to flinch this time as adoration bled into his face. I was definitely nothing to be adored.

Somewhere up the street, two pairs of fast approaching footfalls echoed off the townhouses. Bobby. He was supposed to be at the park. How come no one listened to me? I so did not want him to see this.

I met Evan's amber eyes. Aside from the look of rapture that crossed his face, nothing changed. I tried mentally reaching between us, the way I would call to my own beast, but I felt nothing. Great. It was just my luck that being hungry enough to lose my mind would make vamp powers stronger, but not being crazy cut me off from using them.

Closing my eyes, I dove my awareness inside myself, searching. I found the dead coil where my cat should have been, but nothing else.

Bobby and Gil's footfalls drew nearer. I glanced at the empty opening between the buildings, and in the edge of my vision saw a splash of crimson twisting around Evan. When I looked directly at him, it disappeared again, but I caught a glimpse through my peripheral of something deep red contorting around the level of his navel. Well, either I was losing my mind—entirely possible presently—or that had something to do with the mesmerizing thing. I couldn't touch it or feel it, but knowing it was there, I managed to keep it in sight as I met Evan's eyes again—I only hoped that was enough.

"You never saw me. Never found me. You saw only a hunter on the street. One doing a damn fine job."

The rapture left his face, his eyes fogging to blank.

Was that all it took to erase memories? I thought of Marinna, his human girlfriend, and my mouth went dry with the taste of her betrayal. Tears threatened to spill to my eyes as I remembered the carefully penned lines of her letter. I was all too familiar with the emotional cocktail—I'd fled Firth feeling much the same way. They say time heals all wounds, but I could end his pain now. I could make him forget he ever loved her, that he knew her name. Wouldn't that pay him back in some way for the blood I'd stolen? But the pain didn't go back and taint his older memories, where his love for her swelled without reserve, and if I erased her, that happiness would be gone too. To save those, all I could do was make him forget she left. Then he would go home, expecting her to be there and hurt all over again. I shook my head. “Go somewhere safe. Shift. Heal yourself."

I dropped his hand, and his eyes glazed over. He looked through me like I wasn't there. I jumped to my feet, moving out of his way.

He stood slowly, his knees buckling under him.

I backed away as he hobbled off, his attention straight ahead.

Bobby burst around the corner, but Evan stumbled past him. Apparently my command to go somewhere safe was something he couldn't ignore. Did he realize it wasn't his own idea? How long would it take him to be him again?

A shiver ran through me and I held myself as tight as I could. Evan's blood kept me warm, but something deep inside me was cold. I had the feeling no amount of heat would warm that chill—it was a new part of my soul.

"What happened?” Bobby asked as Evan disappeared around the corner.

I ignored the question. “You were supposed to go to the park."

He jutted out his chin. “And you—” He stopped, his nostrils flaring. A dark look passed over his face. “Your scent changed.” He stalked closer, leaning until his nose was inches from my skin. The air moved under my ear as he inhaled. “If I didn't know, I'd swear you were a wolf."

I felt my newly-acquired blood drain from my face. Bobby leaned lower, sniffing along my collar. I shoved him back.

"I want you to leave.” The words came out low, gruff, as if my throat were trying to choke them back as I spoke.

Bobby's head snapped up, his jaw clenching.

I looked away. If I smelled like a wolf, illusions weren't going to cut it. Hunters would track me again. I'd find the rogue without Bobby, and I'd avoid placing him in extra danger. And maybe, if he wasn't here, he wouldn't realize what I'd done.

Staring at the wall behind his head, I whispered. “Go away, Bobby."

He didn't. With his nostrils flaring, his gaze swept over the snow, taking in the scuffed tracks from my fight. The impression where I'd rolled to avoid a hit. The scent of blood and sweat. The melted patch by the wall where Evan had slumped in his daze. His nose and eyes told him the story I wasn't willing to tell.

He stepped into my space again. “What happened with the hunter?"

I hissed, my hands clenching at my sides, and stormed past him. As I rounded the side of the building, I narrowly avoided slamming into Gil. She'd been running hard, and she flung herself out of my path and onto a porch stoop.

"Let's go,” I snapped over my shoulder.

She gulped down air, her black curls plastered to her beet-red face. “Back to the park?"

I shook my head. I didn't need to hunt anymore, obviously, but there was the crime scene to consider. There were also sentries patrolling the park—I knew that for a fact from Evan's memories—and taking that into consideration made the park extremely unappealing. Because of the rogue's activities, most of the hunter's in the North Central Region were gathered in Haven. It was a dangerous place for a stray. And now that I smelled like a shifter again, the hunters would be on me faster than dogs gathered fleas. “Where else do you have on those lists of yours?"

Gil frowned, and tugged her scroll from the air. Nathanial strolled around the corner. Bobby was right behind him. His face was flushed, and I was surprised the angry energy around him wasn't melting the snow in his path.

I rounded on him. “I told you to leave. I—"

"Shut it, Kita."

I blinked, but he wasn't done yet.

"I'm staying. You're dealing with it. End of discussion. Unless you want to command me as my Dyre."

His eyes were hard, challenging. I opened my mouth to claim my birth title, to tell him to leave and stop looking at me with eyes that guessed what I'd done, but the words soured my tongue. I wasn't a shifter anymore, and I'd given up my place in the clan long before I'd lost my cat. Besides, there was no guarantee he would listen now, but he'd sure as hell remember I claimed Dyre if we lived long enough to see the next gate to Firth open.

I glanced down, studying the rock salt scattered over the sidewalk. “Where are we going, Gil?"

She was still breathing hard, gasping as she scanned the list. She looked up, her bottom lip between her teeth. “We should start with Lorna's place. We aren't far. This is the right part of town."