On the Plus Side

“Please wake up, baby,” I whispered.

I pressed my lips against hers as I felt a single tear slide down my cheek.

“I love you, Lilly. I’m so sorry.”

Twenty-Two

True Love’s Kiss

Somewhere far away I could hear voices. They were followed by sharp pains behind my eyes, which I couldn’t seem to open. I felt warmth in my hand and then more voices. I couldn’t make them out—they were so far away.

I tried to take a deep breath, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move anything. Slowly I was coming to more and the sounds around me were becoming more defined. I could hear Shannon talking and someone else—a male voice.

Was that my father? Who was that?

Then suddenly the voice was familiar.

Devin.

Instant sadness took over me, I’m not sure why. I was having a hard time focusing on anything. I tried again to open my eyes, and then a sharp, bright light broke through and I quickly shut them again. There was a loud beeping noise that was starting to aggravate me, and I wanted it to stop.

Once more, I slowly tried to open my eyes. It hurt to move them. I managed to open them and there he was—Devin. He was standing over me with his head down and it looked like he was crying.

Did I die?

I closed my eyes again because it hurt so bad to keep them open. I could hear Devin’s voice again. Then there was warmth against my lips. There was softness and warmth that I never wanted to end. I tried once more to move my hand, and it moved.

“I love you, Lilly. I’m so sorry,” I heard him sniffle.

Yep, I was dead. I was dead and I must’ve done something good in my life because regardless of the severe pain that comes along with death—I was in heaven.

I opened my eyes again. Pain shot behind them when the light came in. Devin was looking at me, and even though he still had a tear running down his face, a huge smile appeared.

“Lilly,” he whispered as he wiped the single tear from his cheek.

I tried to speak. I wanted more than anything to tell him that I loved him, too, but something was stuck in my throat. Then the memories of what happened came crashing over me. I had been in a room and Jenny was being attacked. I tried to scream for Jenny—to let Devin know to go to her, but again there was something lodged in my throat. Then I realized that I wasn’t breathing and I started to panic. Whatever it was in my throat was keeping me from breathing.

The beeping noise in the background got faster. My arms became easy to move as terror set in. I wasn’t breathing and something was choking me. Jenny was being hurt and Devin didn’t know—he had to stop them. My arms were flailing about as I tried to get up and dislodge whatever it was in my throat at the same time.

“Calm down, baby. Can I get some help in here?” I heard Devin yell.

Then he was holding my arms down.

Why was he holding me down?

I heard myself make a strange choking noise and then there were nurses followed by a strange man standing right over me.

“Lilly, I need to you stay calm until I get your breathing tube out, OK?  This is going to be uncomfortable.”

I felt a tugging on my throat and then I gagged harder as something was pulled from my throat. Then I was able to take my first breath. It hurt my entire body to breathe, and instead of screaming from the pain like I wanted to, I heard myself make strange moaning noises.

“What’s going on? Is she Ok?” I heard Devin saying in the background. “Someone, please tell me what’s going on!”

“We’re going to give you something for the pain, Lilly.” The strange man was really close to my face.

I tried to tell him to move. I wanted to tell him to get out of my way. I needed to tell Devin to help Jenny, but as hard as I tried, nothing would come out. Finally, the pain was starting to wear off and I could feel myself becoming even drowsier. I closed my eyes for only a second and when I opened them again the stranger was gone and Devin was standing over me with worry in his eyes.

Jenny—Devin—help Jenny.

“Help—Jenny,” I managed to whisper.

It felt like fire coming out of my throat. I saw the expression on Devin’s face change into a mix of sadness and admiration. Then, when I couldn’t take it anymore, I slept.

I’m not sure how long I slept, but when I woke up again Devin was sitting beside my bed slumped over sleeping. My vision was still blurry, but I could see well enough to see that he looked so peaceful and yet very exhausted. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while. I was looking at a different man, physically and emotionally. I didn’t move, I just sat there half awake and in horrible pain. I didn’t want to take the chance of waking him up. Just sitting there watching him sleep was new.