On the Plus Side

She giggled and then pulled her keys out.

Please stay with me. Please stay.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” My voice sounded raw, like I’d spent the night eating gravel.

“OK. Goodnight.” She leaned up and kissed my cheek.

The warmth of her mouth made the entire right side of my face tingle.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

I stayed on the front porch and watched as she drove away. Her tail lights were completely gone before I finally went in.

“I like her, Dev,” Jenny said on the way to her room. “Like, I really like her. I think she’s a keeper.”

“Yeah, I like her, too. I don’t know about the keeper part, though,” I grinned.

“Oh shut the hell up! You ain’t foolin’ nobody. Me and dad saw you eye fucking her at the table.”

“Jenny!”

“What? I didn’t say balls.” She laughed as she shut her bedroom door in my face.

That night I had the most vivid nightmare about Lilly. It started out like any other dream I had with her involved. We were kissing and touching, you know, the usual guy dream, but this time in the middle of the dream she started to disappear. I kept calling out for her to stay, but she just smiled and backed away from me while slowly disappearing. Before she disappeared completely, her face transformed into the face of my mother. Then she was gone.

I woke up in a cold sweat with Lilly’s name on my lips. Needless to say, it was a sleepless night.

Seventeen

Breaking Rules

We developed a routine after that. Lilly came to my house for dinner often and brought Dad a different dessert each time. Occasionally, I spent the night at her place and slept on the couch. That only happened on late nights when I was too tired for the long drive home, and only when Lilly insisted on it.

I even saw her mom a few times, which was horrible, but I just kept pushing it into my head that it was the most important thing I could ever do for the most important people in my life. The only problem was, Lilly was rapidly becoming one of those important people.

As hard as I tried to keep the relationship light, I couldn’t help it. Being with Lilly was like second nature and the sexual tension was starting to kill us both. We stayed that way for weeks until finally I snapped.

We had spent the night watching movies and eating take-out Chinese at her place. It was just like any other normal night and as bad as I wanted to stay cuddled on the couch with her, I knew I had to go.

“OK, baby, I gotta get going,” I said as I stood and stretched.

These late nights and early work days were starting to take a toll on me. No matter how much sleep I was getting I always felt tired. It was sleep, but it was a restless sleep.

“Stay,” she whined as she stood and wrapped her arms around my waist.

“I can’t, babe. I gotta be up bright and early in the morning.”

She looked up at me and poked her bottom lip out. She looked so damn cute that I couldn’t resist laughing.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stay, but only because you gave me the puppy dog face. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’m completely addicted to you,” I pulled her closer to me and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

“You’re addicted to me?”

“Oh yeah, I’m in need of serious intervention.” I gave her a quick peck as she giggled.  “I’ll just go get a blanket and pillow. It’s not going to freak Shannon out when she comes home and I’m crashed on the couch again?”

I started toward the linen closet in the hallway and grabbed for an extra blanket and pillow. When I turned around Lilly was standing in front of me.

“That won’t be an issue because you’re not sleeping on the couch tonight.”

She pulled the blanket from out of my arms and stuffed it back into the closet. I started to protest when she covered my mouth with her hand.

“Devin, I want to fall asleep in your arms. I haven’t had a decent night of sleep in weeks and I’m tired. I know the only way I’ll sleep well is if you’re lying next to me, so come on.”

She slipped her hand into mine. I did nothing to stop her as she pulled me the rest of the way down the hall and then into her bedroom. What could I say? Those were my thoughts exactly, and if she wanted to sleep in my arms as badly as I wanted her to, then I knew I could control the situation. I could be a gentleman just one last time before all of this was over.

I knew deep down that I’d have to be honest with Lilly at some point, preferably after I had the money in my hands, and I also knew she’d never talk to me again.