Off the Record

“Oh,” she said softly, tears pooling in her eyes despite her best effort.

“Hey. Hey,” he said, brushing a tear off her cheek. “Don’t cry. We’ll be okay. We’ll make it through.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. So they were going to do the same thing? He loved her and they were going to continue to hide?

“I can’t believe they’re allowing that. I thought you always said that you would choose the campaign first.” She couldn’t help throwing his words back at him. She wanted him to tell her that he loved her. She wanted his confession to be to her, not to Heather and Elliott.

“I’m choosing both. They don’t get the choice,” he told her, bringing his lips down and kissing her tenderly.

They broke apart, and Liz looked up into his eyes, wondering what he was thinking. Did he think that they could hide forever? She couldn’t be the girl on the side the whole time. He loved her. She wanted to be out in the open with him so badly it pained her. But she couldn’t bring herself to say it. She couldn’t ruin their moment.

“I’m going to be so busy, and they’re worried about me having enough time for everything. I think we should lie low for a little while,” he told her.

“Lie low,” she said hollowly. What had they been doing?

“I want to keep you in my life, but I have responsibilities to the campaign.”

“The campaign,” she said. She felt like a broken record, repeating his words back to him.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to see you as much in the next month as I have. I still want to see you every chance I get, but I have a real shot of winning.”

“You’re going to win,” she told him openly for the first time. She had known all along, but she had never expressed her opinion.

He smiled then. “I hope so. I want to be as sure I’m going to win as you are,” he said, then kissed her again. “You know I don’t want to take time away from you, Liz.”

She waited for it. He had to say it. It was on the tip of his tongue.

“But this is a priority…”

“A priority,” she said, still reeling. He wasn’t going to say it. She could feel it. He wasn’t going to tell her.

“Liz,” he pleaded, forcing her to look at him fully, “please, tell me you understand. I need to get through the campaign.”

She snapped out of it and nodded. “I understand. We’re just going to stay the way we are,” she whispered.

Stay hidden, she thought sadly to herself.

“Lie low. I can do that,” she continued. “I was thinking of going to visit my friend in D.C. next weekend anyway. Then you won’t even have to think about it for a couple days. Give everyone some time to cool off.”

“D.C.? I didn’t know you were going to do that,” he responded quickly.

“My friend asked me before school let out. I wasn’t sure if I was going to have time to get away, but school ends this week and you…well, you’re busy,” she said softly, staring down at her hands.

“As much as I don’t want you to go anywhere, that might be a good idea for the weekend. Who knows what Heather will have me doing this week after our blowout,” he said with a chuckle. Liz couldn’t even manage one. “I’m going to miss you while you’re gone.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” she said.

He pulled her over into his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Baby,” he said.

“Yeah,” Liz murmured, hoping that he would tell her how he really felt.

“We still have the rest of the night together, at least.”

“Then we should use our time wisely,” she whispered.

“Yes, we should,” he said, hoisting her into his arms and carrying her upstairs.

Chapter 24

INTRODUCTIONS

Driving five hours to D.C. didn’t sound like a long time in the abstract. But once Liz actually got out onto I-85 it felt interminable. She couldn’t believe she was actually going. After everything that had happened and everything that had changed this summer, she was still driving out to see Hayden for the weekend.

She hadn’t seen Brady since the night of his fund-raising gala. She hadn’t expected to either. They were even more on the down-low, thanks to Heather and Elliott’s interference. It made her sigh all over again just thinking about that night. She hadn’t thought they could get much more secretive than they had been before, but she was wrong. He had called only once, and that was to tell her that he was going to be too busy to talk the rest of the week. She figured that meant she wasn’t supposed to call him either.

Sandy Carmichael would have to be tucked away for the weekend, and Liz would have to try to enjoy herself. She would have to be content knowing the man who loved her couldn’t contact her, and that she wouldn’t be able to see him until he could see her. They were back at square one.

It was as if they were starting all over again. But now their emotions were much stronger, and so it hurt fifty thousand times more. She couldn’t even think about it without her heart constricting, her stomach doing a belly flop, and her throat closing up. She had cried too much recently, thinking about Brady, how he had stuck up for her, that he loved her, that he hadn’t told her, that they couldn’t be together. She was determined not to cry on this trip.

Liz pulled off of the interstate headed straight for downtown D.C. She and Hayden had decided that she would pick him up after work on Thursday, and he had gotten permission to take the rest of the weekend off. He said even though they all technically had the weekends off, everyone still came in and worked extra hours because there was too much to do. He had even asked not to be on call. He certainly sounded like an overworked intern, but at least he was getting paid.

She followed the directions on her GPS through town and turned off into a parking lot in front of Hayden’s building. She cut the engine and sent him a text letting him know that she was here. She was a couple minutes early: Everyone she knew from the area had said northern Virginia had the worst drivers imaginable, so she had built in some traffic time, but there hadn’t been as much traffic as she had thought.

Just come inside. I’ll come get you. I have some last-minute things to close up, Hayden messaged back.

Liz shrugged and got out of the car. She had dressed comfortably for the trip and wished now that she had put on something cuter. She didn’t want to walk inside that building where everyone was in suits and heels without her own heels. She thought about pulling a pair out of her bag, but decided it would look ridiculous paired with her teal cuffed shorts and loose white spaghetti strap top. Her hair was down in waves, because there was no way she was straightening it in this humidity, and she had on light makeup.

She walked across the blacktop parking lot and into the glass building that Hayden worked in. The lobby was immaculate, with marble floors and a large, hard wooden desk. A security guard stood on either side of the desk, and a receptionist sat answering phones in a very professional business suit and tie.

“Hold, please,” the man said into the phone, then looked up at Liz. “Can I help you?”

“I’m here to see Hayden Lane,” she told him, wringing her hands in front of her body. She didn’t know why she was so anxious. She had known Hayden for two years. They had worked together at the paper, and they had been friends the whole time. So she’d had a small crush on him; that didn’t mean she had to freak herself out before she even saw him. It was just Hayden.

“I’ll let him know. What’s your name?” he asked.

She actually had to think about it before answering. “Liz Dougherty,” she said softly. All summer she had gone by Sandy Carmichael, so it felt a bit odd to give her real name.

“One moment,” he said before pressing a button and holding the receiver to his ear. “A Miss Liz Dougherty here for Hayden. Great. Thank you.” He smiled up at Liz. “He’s on his way. Feel free to take a seat.”

“Thank you,” she said. He was already switching back over to the other line to finish his conversation.

Liz took a few steps away from the counter and sat down in the small waiting area. She couldn’t get over how weird it felt to be just Liz Dougherty again. It was almost too easy to assume a new identity. She felt lost in the deception and appeal of shrugging off the cares of her world, and now she was rebounding back to plain, average life. It was a bit disorienting.

“Liz,” Hayden called, walking out through a side door and toward her with a big smile on his face. Liz stood quickly and pulled her shorts down to a decent length.

Hayden looked exactly how she remembered except he wasn’t in his normal shorts and polo combo. He had on a gray suit with a green shirt and striped tie. His medium brown hair was tousled, as if he had been running his hands through it while working. It was a bit shorter than she was used to. He usually kept it long enough for the curls to start peeking out around his ears, but apparently the Hill had cleaned him up. His hazel eyes were closer to a green color than normal as they reflected his attire.

“Hey, Hayden,” she said, walking to meet him halfway.

“Good to see you. How was the trip?” he asked, leaning forward and giving her a hug. She wrapped her arms around him briefly and then they broke apart.

“It was an easy drive,” she told him as he continued to smile down at her.

“I’m glad to hear that. Come on back with me. I have one more thing to finish up and then I can introduce you around. Sound good?”

Liz nodded. “Sounds great.”

Introductions. How many of those had she had this summer? She could think of one—Chris. She sighed and tried not to think about Brady. It was too complicated and would only frustrate her further.

Hayden held the door for her as she walked into a long hallway. He motioned her toward the elevator and scanned his security card. The door dinged open and they walked inside. He pressed the button for his floor and the elevator shot up.

Liz stood there in silence, wondering what it was going to be like in his office. She half expected it to be a madhouse, but then she also kind of thought it might be like Hayden—calm and controlled. He was efficient, and while the university press was different from a press office, he had always run it so smoothly. It had its moments of insanity, but Hayden tended to keep things under wraps.

What she found when they exited the elevator was much closer to mayhem. The room was covered in desks that were all pushed together and covered in monitors, computers, coffee cups, and hundreds of random pieces of paper. People were running around in a bigger hurry than was likely necessary; some were yelling into phones, and others were milling around chatting with colleagues. It should have been a terrifying sight, but it only excited her. This was what she wanted in her life.

“Come on,” he said, walking down the busy hallway. He turned about halfway and stopped at a small desk way neater than any of the surrounding desks. He was possibly the tidiest person she knew. She made a mental note to clean his office before he came back to school. The thought of being with Brady on top of Hayden’s desk at the paper made her blush. She needed to get her head on straight.

“Have a seat. I have to copy this stuff and turn it in to my boss before I go,” he said, taking a neat stack of papers off of his desk. “I’ll be right back.”

“All right,” she said, sitting down in his chair. She watched the general commotion in the office. It reminded her of the school paper, but with a different kind of hierarchy. She liked the hum of the room and the general sense of urgency. She could fit in here.

Liz turned back to Hayden’s desk and examined the area. His Post-its were color-coordinated based on the topic he was working on, and that made her giggle. She wished she was that organized with her stories, but they kind of came out of stream of consciousness.