Nothing Left to Lose

“Yes, sir,” Ashton replied.

“Annabelle, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but honestly we thought that this was in your best interests,” my dad said, sounding like he was asking for my approval.

In all honesty, it probably was the best thing at the start; I wouldn’t have coped very well with that at all. But since Ashton, I could have been told. Maybe it would have helped me understand why he was always so strict and professional when we went out.

“Now isn’t the time to start arguing over something that’s done. I understand why you didn’t tell me,” I admitted. “I’ll speak to you later, Dad,” I mumbled, not wanting to speak anymore.

“Bye, Annabelle, Agent Taylor,” he replied as he cut off the phone. I glanced over to the love of my life. He was worried sick, his beautiful face was pale and showed the picture of concern.

His arms encircled me, crushing me against him. When he moved towards me, the weight of his body meant I had nowhere to go but backwards onto the bed. His body covered mine, pressing me down into the mattress. “You don’t need to worry, Baby Girl, I promise. I would die before I let him touch you again,” he growled fiercely.

My heart stopped at his words. I could see the truth in his eyes. He wouldn’t let Carter take me; he would fight for me to the death. And with that knowledge, my heart broke all over again. I knew what was coming. In my mind’s eye I could already see it, Carter turning up, Ashton and him locked in some kind of death battle, Ashton being hurt or killed. Me, alone again, watching another person that I loved being ripped away from me.

I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t allow him to be hurt. This time I had some control, this time I could prevent it, this time the boy I loved would live. I would never allow Carter to hurt Ashton, ever.

Forcing a fake smile, I tried desperately to think of a plan, an escape, something that would ensure that this time it all ended differently. Scenarios flicked through my head, us leaving, going into hiding, changing our names. But each one boiled down to the same thing – Carter would find us, and he would kill him in the slowest way possible. No, there was only one way I could ensure his safety.

“I’m going to go and have a shower before the new guards all come. I guess you need to go and talk to Dean and Peter and tell them what’s happened,” I muttered, trying not to let out the waves of emotion that were crashing over me show in my face or in my voice.

He sighed and dipped his head, capturing my lips in a kiss that was so sweet that it shattered my heart. I kissed him back, savouring every last second of it, knowing that it would be the last kiss I would ever have. I memorised the soft feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the smell of him, how the heat spread through my body making my heart throb. I memorised every single thing about it while my heart broke silently.

He pulled away and stroked my face softly. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, watching my face. I nodded, working hard to keep my face natural. I must have done a pretty decent job because he kissed me on the lips again quickly then pushed up off me and left the bedroom, looking like it almost pained him to walk away from me.

I sat up and put my head in my hands, thinking it through again. Was there any other option? Was there anything else I could do to protect him? Carter knew where we were. He wanted me back, and if he had seen any of the magazines or papers then he would already see all of the stuff about Ashton… and he would be murderously angry. The dream I had about Ashton’s broken face and body flashed into my mind, and I whimpered. My eyes fluttered closed, holding on to the memory of that dream. I took a deep breath; I needed to draw on my inner strength now. It didn’t matter how much it hurt me, I needed him safe. There was only one way to keep him safe, and that was to get him as far away from me as possible.

I couldn’t live in a world where Ashton didn’t exist. It hurt so much when Jack died, I couldn’t go through all of that again. If anything happened to Ashton, my whole world would collapse. I had to keep him safe, even if the pain would be excruciating, I wouldn’t allow Carter to hurt Ashton.

I swallowed my sob and picked up my cell phone before walking to the bathroom on wobbly legs. I scrolled through my contacts, finding the one I wanted as I closed the door behind me tightly and leant against it. Maddy answered immediately. “President Spencer’s Office,” she said politely.

“Hi, Maddy. Can I speak to my dad please?”

I heard her tapping on keys. “I’ll just put you through, Annabelle,” she stated as the hold music started. I took a few calming breaths, I needed to get this done without giving anything away.

“Annabelle, is everything okay?” my father asked worriedly.

Come on, Anna, you can do this! “Actually no, Dad.” I took another deep breath. “I need you to do something for me, but I don’t want you to question me. It’s something that I need to have happen,” I said, trying to stress the importance without giving anything away.

“Of course, Annabelle. What is it?”

I slumped down onto the bathroom floor, leaning my back against the door, gripping my free hand in my hair. “I need you to transfer Agent Taylor,” I replied quickly.

His reaction was exactly what I thought it would be. “What? Transfer? I can’t do that, Annabelle! He’s there for your protection; he’s the best man for the job. With everything going on right now, you need him there,” he said sternly.

I closed my eyes, trying to block out the pain that I was feeling inside. “Dad, I need this to happen. I don’t ask you for much, do I? If you love me at all, you’ll do this for me and not ask me anything else about it. Please, Dad, please?” I begged, my voice starting to break.

He was quiet for a couple of seconds. I couldn’t breathe. I could feel my heart getting harder with each passing second; I was starting to push everything away again, just like I used to. I didn’t care about my own life; Carter could do what the hell he wanted to me, as long as Ashton wasn’t harmed.

“Annabelle, do you know what you’re asking? You want me to transfer him even after I just told you that Carter knows where you are? This is that important to you?” he asked quietly.

Jeez, Ashton is the most important thing in the world. “Yes,” I croaked.

“Has something happened? Has he done something wrong?” my dad inquired hesitantly.

I gasped. “No! He’s done nothing wrong. He’s an excellent agent, exemplary. I just need you to transfer him, please?” I said fiercely.

He sighed. “Do I get to know the reason?”

“No. Please trust me, please do this for me. Transfer him to wherever he wants to go. He wanted some Front Line thing in LA.” I wiped the silent tear that fell down my cheek.

He was quiet again. “Okay, consider it done,” he replied, his voice tender and worried.

Relief washed over me and my stomach unclenched. The fear loosened, and the muscles that I didn’t even realise I had tensed, started to relax.

“Thank you, Dad. Thank you, thank you,” I muttered.

“I’ll call him and let him know,” he stated sadly.

I gasped, panic stricken. “No, don’t! You can’t do that.”

“What? You just said you-” he started, but I interrupted him.

“Dad, Ashton’s not going to want to leave. If he finds out now, he’s going to do everything in his power to stay. You can’t tell him until he’s ready to go. I think he’s going to need to be escorted away,” I admitted, biting the inside of my mouth hard enough to draw blood.

“But if he’s that dead set against going, why is he being transferred?” he asked. I could hear the frustration in his tone.

“Because I need him transferred.”

He sighed again. I could just imagine his defeated frown as he ran his hand over the back of his neck. “Okay,” he finally agreed. “The four agents that are coming over should be there within about forty minutes. I’ll call and have them escort him straight to the airport and wait until he’s on the plane. I’ll get Maddy to book his flight.”

I smiled weakly. “Okay. Maybe you could call Dean Michaels and let him know what’s going on, but tell him not to say anything to Ashton,” I suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. So when the four guards get there, they’ll take Agent Taylor to the airport and leave you with your two far guards,” he clarified, checking I understood everything.

“Can I have Dean as my new near guard? He’s the only one I wouldn’t mind near me.”

“That sounds like a good plan for the short term, but we might need to look at something else longer term. Maybe it’s best if you come home for a while or something,” he replied, sounding exasperated.

“I don’t want to leave school,” I replied quickly. “Can’t we just see how this all goes for a while?”

“For the moment, but I’ll keep a close eye on it. I already have people keeping tabs on what he’s up to. If I get even one sniff that he’s coming near Arizona, you’re coming here to stay with us. Understood?”

“Understood,” I confirmed. “Dad, one more thing before you go.”

“What’s that, Annabelle?” he asked curiously.

“Ashton’s done an exceptional job here. I don’t want you to think that just because I’ve requested this early transfer that this looks bad on him. He really deserves whatever recommendation you would have given him at the end of the eight months,” I said sternly.

“Okay, Annabelle, don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything,” he replied as he ended the call.

I let out the breath I didn’t even realise I was holding. It was going to be hard enough to watch Ashton leave me, but I had a feeling I was going to have to make him go, and I would need all my strength for that. He was going to force me to lie right to his face; he was going to make me rip my own heart out when I explained it to him.