Nothing Left to Lose

I thought of Jack less often – which did make me feel guilty. Sometimes it seemed like the guilt would crush me. Whenever I was feeling down though, Ashton would always cheer me up with a joke or a hug, or a little gift. He was terribly romantic at times, downloading songs he thought I would like, or writing me little messages in the mirror so I would see them when I had a shower. He’d honestly make the perfect boyfriend for someone one day.

Today I was repaying him a little for his kindness that he’d shown me over the last few weeks. It was his birthday in a couple of weeks, and although I’d already arranged most of his gift by phone, I still had a little bit of shopping to do for it. The only problem was how I was getting away from him so I could surprise him. Of course, I’d debated sneaking out when he was in the shower, but I had a strong feeling he would freak out and worry himself to death about me. So instead I’d opted for a little white lie that Dean and Peter were helping me with.

“Hey, Pretty Boy, I’m going out with Dean today,” I said casually as I made my way up the hallway on Sunday afternoon. I’d left it until now to spring it on him; otherwise he would use the advance warning to come up with some way to ensure he came with me. He was obsessive about not leaving my side even for a minute.

“What? Why? Where?” he asked, walking up behind me and taking my hand, stopping my escape.

“I have an appointment,” I lied, shrugging and looking longingly at the door.

He frowned; his body tensing. “Your legs don’t look that hairy to me,” he joked, looking me over in my cropped jeans.

I laughed weakly. “Well, maybe I’m not having my legs done.” I smirked at him, tapping his nose with my finger.

He groaned, turning to grab his car keys. “I’ll come with you.”

I shook my head sternly. “No way! You’ll look like an obsessive stalker boyfriend that can’t let his girl go to get waxed without him being there! You said I could have some privacy for this,” I whined, pouting. I’d become pretty adept at getting what I wanted from him. He didn’t seem to be able to tell me no very easily, unless it was something about my safety and then he would refuse point blank and not budge an inch.

“Well, you can’t go with one guard so…” he trailed off, shrugging as if it was decided.

I rolled my eyes. “Peter’s coming too.” I pushed him away from the door gently and took the keys from his hand, tossing them back onto the side. “I’ll see you later.” I grinned, knowing I’d won. As I turned to make my exit, his hand closed over my arm, holding me in place as he put his cell phone to his ear.

“Hey, Dean, are you taking Anna for her appointment? Yeah, Peter’s going too though, right? Okay, well I should have been told. I don’t know why I wasn’t informed earlier. Look, just stay with her. I want you inside the store. No, inside! Peter can be outside. Right, I know. Yeah fine. Call me when you leave there,” he growled into the phone sounding a little grouchy and extremely authoritative. There was no doubt that Ashton was in charge out of the three of them; even though he was only twenty-one, the other two really respected him. He disconnected the call and looked at me sternly. “Anna, you do not leave Dean’s side. You do as you’re told, and you call me and let me know you’re okay when you get there and as you’re leaving,” he ordered, his face stern and warning.

I giggled. I love the sexy SWAT agent mode he switched into sometimes. “Yes, sir,” I purred, pursing my lips. I could see the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“I’m serious, Anna,” he stated, looking me straight in the eyes.

I sighed. “I know you’re serious. You only call me Anna when you’re serious. I promise I will stay with Dean at all times, and I’ll call you when I get there,” I reassured him, smiling.

He frowned, still looking annoyed. “And when you leave,” he added.

I nodded, grinning. “And when I leave,” I agreed. “If you’re really worried, you could always call me.” I stepped forward and kissed his cheek softly.

When he hugged me I could feel how tense he was all over, his muscles all bunched up and tight. “Be safe, please?” he begged.

“I will,” I promised. “Make sure you do something fun while I’m not here. Sleep with some girls, walk around naked, call Nate, I don’t know,” I suggested, waving my hand in an example of the various things he could do while he was free.

“Sleep with some girls? You know you’re the only girl I sleep with.”

“Sorry, bad choice of words. Go get laid, Ashton, and chill out,” I replied grinning.

“Maybe I will, what will you say then?” he teased.

My heart suddenly stopped, and I got so jealous that I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me, bursting to come out. Holy crap, he’s not yours, Anna! The man has needs, stop being an idiot; you don’t want to be with him. However, my mental scolding didn’t stop the jealousy from brewing inside me.

“I would say, use protection and don’t make my bed smell like sex,” I lied, frowning, trying to sound blasé about it.

He sighed deeply and frowned; I got the distinct impression that wasn’t the answer he wanted. “Right. Well, be safe,” he muttered, pulling open the front door.

I frowned angrily at myself. What the heck was wrong with me? Why was I so jealous? I wanted to wait outside the apartment, stalker-style, and wait to see if a girl showed up and if she did, I wanted to rip her head off. I took a few calming breaths and forced myself to stop being possessive over a man that wasn’t actually mine. As I walked out of the apartment, I could see Ashton in quiet talks with Dean and Peter. They both looked appropriately abashed so I would imagine they were being berated for not telling him we were planning on going out for a while.