Nothing Left to Lose

He smiled weakly. “You don’t have to apologise, Anna. I want you to be able to tell me things and trust me with it. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone if you don’t want me to.”

I nodded. “Thanks. Well, I was wondering if you still wanted to go for that swim.” I winced, waiting for him to tell me to take a hike or something for being such a bitch to him. Instead, he grinned and his whole face lit up.

“Yeah, I do,” he said cheerfully.

“Okay, well I’ve asked Sarah to take you,” I teased, laughing.

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious,” he muttered sarcastically, reaching for my hand and giving me a tug into his bedroom.

I glanced at the bed; the pillows were propped up against the headboard, and my book was face down on the middle of the bed. I grinned and pointed to it. “So, where you up to?”

“Edward and Bella have just arrived at the baseball field,” he replied, going to his drawers and grabbing a pair of black shorts. “I’m just gonna go put these on. You need to get a swimsuit on or something?” he asked, heading towards his bathroom.

“No, I’ve already got mine on,” I answered, shrugging.

“Oh yeah? What would have happened if I’d said I didn’t want to go?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I shrugged easily. “I would’ve taken Dean. He was obviously feeling left out earlier. He wouldn’t turn me down,” I joked, smiling at him.

He laughed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t turn you down either.” He smiled and then disappeared into the bathroom.

I sat on his bed and grabbed the book just for something to do. He had his page marked so I flicked it open and a photo fell out that he was using as a bookmark. I turned it over to look at it. It was of him and four other guys. He had his arm around a blond guy next to him; they were all grinning and laughing, but that wasn’t the reason why I couldn’t look away from it.

All five of them were dressed in black SWAT uniforms. Ashton had a huge gun hanging off his shoulder and another smaller gun strapped to this side. He looked so sexy that my mouth actually started to water and my body started to get hot all over. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from his smiling face in the photo, he looked so happy. I silently wondered who the other guys were and if they were close. The uniform was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.

“Hey, don’t lose my page.”

I jumped a mile, shoving the photo back into the book and snapping it shut. I hadn’t even heard him come back into the room because I was too busy perving on his photo. “Er yeah right, I won’t.” I dropped the book quickly, praying I wasn’t blushing.

“You ready to go then?” he asked, folding two towels and putting them under his arm.

“Yep. Did you want to take a row boat over to the floating dock?” I asked as we walked through the house.

“Sounds good. Let’s stop and get snacks first,” he suggested, rubbing his flat stomach in a small circle. His hand closed around mine as we walked and I looked down at it, unsure what to think or feel. His plan was to hold hands a little each day so that I’d get used to it before we went to school, but I hadn’t expected it to actually work. But with his warm hand wrapped around mine, I realised that I actually quite liked the feel of it.

After a quick stop in the kitchen to grab several packs of cookies and chips, some fruit and a couple of bottles of water, I led him through the vast grounds and over to the little jetty around the back of my parents’ property.

“Which one do you want to take?” I questioned, nodding at the row boats that were tied there. They were all the same, just painted different colours.

“How about blue, that’s my favourite colour,” he said and I smiled as he climbed into the boat, setting down the bag of food he’d insisted on carrying.

When he turned back to help me, I scoffed and knocked his hand away. “I’m not some damsel that needs everything doing for her,” I muttered, shaking my head as I jumped lightly into the boat.

He sighed dramatically and sat down. “Right I forgot, Little Miss Independent.” He rolled his eyes, smiling at me.

I grinned and grabbed the oars, starting to row in the general direction of the floating dock. “You can row back,” I offered, chuckling at his disgruntled expression.

“You’re not letting me be very romantic,” he grumbled, crossing his arms in mock annoyance.

“Why the hell would you want to be romantic?” I asked, laughing.

“Well, I’m not making a very good impression on our first date, am I?” he replied, pouting.

Oh my God, date? He doesn’t think this is an actual date, does he? “This isn’t a date,” I said quietly.

He laughed. “Yeah, it kinda is. You are my girlfriend after all,” he countered, shrugging.

I stiffened at the word ‘girlfriend’. “No I’m not. My boyfriend died. You’re just doing your job,” I retorted, glaring at him angrily.

His face dropped and his eyes tightened. “Anna, I was just kidding. I meant if people ask, we can say this was our first date. I mean, we’ve gotta have stories and stuff, right?” he continued cautiously.

I sighed and ignored him, rowing harder until we reached the floating dock that was almost in the middle of the lake. When the boat bumped against the edge of the dock, he jumped out, tying it securely before holding his hand down to help me up.

“I don’t need your help,” I protested, annoyed again.