Not Planning on You

At that moment, the front door opened and Nick and Beth came walking into the living room stopping in shock at the scene before them. “What’s going on, bro?”

Gray threw them a look that had them both backing up. “Leave now.” Then as if almost an after-thought he added, “Please.”

Suzy started to struggle, trying to tell her sister to wait for her. Beth took a hesitant step forward before Nick put his arm on hers, halting her. Suzy knew by the look on his face that he knew what was going on and her heart broke a second time that morning. “Let’s go Beth, they need some time alone.” She could hear Beth protesting as Nick led her back out the door.

When the front door closed again, Gray looked down at her and closed his eyes wearily for a few moments before opening them again. “I know you’re angry and I know you aren’t going to believe me at first, but please just listen to the whole story. I promise you, baby, I haven’t cheated on you, just please listen to me.” As she started to protest, he held up his hand. “Please, if you care anything about me and us just listen to what I have to say.” He started back at the very beginning from when he’d met Suzy and how drawn he was to her. He admitted that he’d gone out with Reva just to take his mind off of her. He’d been afraid that they were never going to be together and had decided to go out with Reva after she pursued him. There were never feelings involved and it was just casual dates. When he got to the part where he slept with her one time, the only outward reaction from Suzy was the clenching of her fists.

He took a moment to catch his breath and studied Suzy’s reaction. Her eyes were carefully averted from his as she stared out the door. He continued the story telling her about breaking it off with Reva and the barrage of phone calls, texts and visits. He admitted that he’d felt guilty for letting it go that far and had been hesitant to report it to the authorities. He also ended the story telling her of his fear of her finding out and pulling away from him.

Suzy sat beside him not moving a muscle. Gray didn’t know whether to be encouraged that she’d given up trying to get away from him or scared that she seemed so lifeless. He decided to stay quiet and give her time to work everything out in her head. She sat beside him looking incredibly small and fragile in his big shirt.

Suzy’s heard was spinning and her stomach was again churning. Out of everything she’d imagined this was a scenario that had never entered her mind. It was too farfetched to be made up. It hurt that he’d kept this from her, but what truly killed her was imagining Gray with the other woman, possessing her body just as he had hers. She knew that she’d no right to feel that way, but she did. There had never been a commitment between them and there certainly wasn’t when this happened. Maybe in some part of her fantasy world, she thought Gray had been in Charleston for this past year pining over her when in reality he had been living his life which included dating and having sex with someone else.

She still couldn’t look Gray in the eyes. She knew he was waiting for her to say something and she could also feel his fear. Still looking straight ahead, she quietly asked, “Who else knows? Obviously Nick, I could see it on his face this morning, but who else?”

Gray’s voice had taken on her same low tone; as if afraid he’d frighten her away. “Yes, Nick knows and also Jason. I’m sure there are others, such as security at Mericom and at my home in Charleston. It would have been impossible to hide it from Nick and Jason with Reva making a scene at Mericom on a regular basis. Don’t be angry at either of them, they wanted you told before I went out of town.” Gray took a deep breath and continued, “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. This is exactly what I was afraid would happen and I’ve made it that much worse by letting you find out the way you did.”

As he laid a hand on her shoulder, Suzy pulled away. “I can’t talk about this right now, Gray, I need some time to think.” At his look of despair, she added, “I’m not leaving; I just have to be by myself for a while. Could you please get my crutches for me?” She could tell that he wanted to argue, but he quietly got up and retrieved her crutches from the kitchen. By the time he returned, she was standing beside the couch and she took the crutches from his hands. When she reached the bedroom door, she turned around finally facing him and said, “Please just let me have this time, I’ll come out when I’m ready. Go to work if you need to, I’ll be fine.” The door shut quietly behind her and Gray stood staring at it for a few moments before walking outside to sit on the deck.

~~~

Suzy closed the bedroom door and leaned against it studying the room. The bed was still rumpled from their night together. Who would have thought that things would fall apart so quickly? She couldn’t bear to sit there so she walked over to the chaise lounge in front of the windows and settled herself against the cushions. Where did they go from here? She could pack her bags and have Beth pick her up. It would be difficult to navigate the steps to her condo, but she was more mobile now than she’d been a few weeks ago.

If she left though, was it the official end of whatever this was that she had with Gray? Was she ready for it to be over? She couldn’t stay here with him if she felt as if he’d cheated on her. Maybe she was punishing Gray for Jeff’s sins. Although if she thought back, she’d never felt the crushing devastation that she’d felt when she read the messages on Gray’s phone. Jeff had thrown her for a major loop. Maybe one of the main reasons, though, was she just truly never thought Jeff had it in him to be anything other than a straight arrow. Did it upset her because she had been in love with him or was it more shock that he’d dared deviate from who she thought he was? All that she knew was that it didn’t hold a candle to the gut-wrenching pain of imagining a life without Gray in it.

Suddenly, a smile covered her face as she remembered a line she used to tell Claire often when she was encouraging her to get a life. ‘Put your big girl panties on.’ Well maybe it was time she took her own advice. She got up from the chaise and hobbled to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered who the pathetic person staring back at her was. Her eyes were puffy, her hair was hanging in disarray and she was as pale as a ghost. Screw this! I refuse to be the victim again. That’s my man out there and no whack-job woman is going to ruin my life again. She thinks she’s crazy? Well she ain’t seen crazy yet, but it’s coming.

It took her almost two hours to shower, dress and pack, but already she felt more like herself. The pitiful creature of this morning was gone. In her place was a woman with a mission. She and Gray would go to Charleston and this mess was going to be taken care of. Their lives couldn’t move forward with this hanging over them. She loved him, dammit, and even though it would probably scare the crap out of him, she planned to have him in her life for the duration. She was never one to back down from a fight and this was a fight for the most important thing in her life. Stepping back from the mirror, she gave her reflection one last look. Black leather skirt, check. Off the shoulder silk peasant top, check, one flat leopard skin sandal, yuk. Well two out of three wasn’t bad. She had her hair back in an elegant pony tail and her makeup was flawless. Stiffening her spine, she prepared to do battle if necessary with Gray and with a smile; she acknowledged that he wouldn’t know what hit him.

~~~

Gray had just walked back into the living-room from the deck when the bedroom door opened. Expecting to see a still upset Suzy, he was shocked at the person standing there instead. Gone was the pale, shaken woman in his big shirt. In her place was the beautiful, sexy, confident woman that he had fallen in love. Hope took root inside of him as he stepped towards her, his eyes desperately searching hers for some indication of her feelings. When she turned behind her and picked up a suitcase, his heart dropped to the floor.

He held a hand out to her, ready to plead if he had to. “Baby, where are you going? Please don’t….” Before he could finish his sentence she interrupted him.

“I’m not leaving Gray, we are leaving. Why don’t you pack whatever you need, I’m ready to get on the road before it gets any later.”

“Honey, I’m at a loss here. Get on the road to where?”

As she moved to stand in front of him, Gray thought, my God, when have crutches ever looked this sexy? “We’re going to Charleston, Gray. We have a problem and we are going to solve it…together. I’m finished being left out of the loop. From now on, this concerns both of us. If you aren’t comfortable with that, then there will be no us.”

He was a man who made million dollar deals over breakfast, he was on a first name basis with senators and congressmen, and he was proud of the fact that he was never at a loss for words. No matter what the situation or problem, he was smooth, it was his God-given talent and it had made him a very successful business man. This woman in front of him, with her eyes flashing and her good foot tapping impatiently, had done what no one else could do; she’d made him speechless. He’d expected to grovel at her feet for days, hoping she’d give him another chance. He’d braced himself to see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes again and, God, the tears; those were like stakes through his heart. Yet here she was telling him to pack his bags so they could go handle Reva together. She was exceptional and she was still his.

“Um, honey, what do you have in mind? I don’t think you’re in any condition to go drag Reva out by her hair or anything. We can certainly go to Charleston and turn everything over to the police.”

With a sigh of impatience, she said, “I’m not some redneck Gray; I’m not gathering my kin folk to go kick her arse. I do want to see her, though.” She held up her hand to stop his protests. “She needs to know that you’re taken Gray and trust me, she’ll want to see that proof. As to how that will happen, we will decide when we get there. Now, please, can we go?”

Suzy stiffened as Gray walked towards her with a slow, sexy smile. Her body responded immediately, but her heart needed to keep its distance for now. To his credit, he didn’t reach for her. He looked her in the eyes for a moment and then quietly said, “I love you so much it takes my breath away.” As she started to shake her head, he continued, “I know this isn’t the time for this talk and we will put it on the back burner for now. I needed you to know that. You take my breath away.”

Gray walked towards the bedroom and Suzy heard him opening drawers as he packed. She quickly wiped a tear from her eyes, his declaration of love still ringing in her ears. She wanted to bask in the moment, the first time he declared his love, but she couldn’t, not yet. The timing was all wrong and things were too unsettled between them. The desire to just give up and run was still there. If she did, though, would she ever stop running? This was a pivotal moment in her life and how she handled it could very well define her love life forever.

Chapter Sixteen

As if afraid she’d change her mind, Gray had packed a bag and was leading her out the door and into his BMW in less than an hour. He called Jason before they left letting him know that they would be in Charleston for a few days. He’d also called Nick, and even though Suzy knew Nick was bombarding him with questions about what was going on, Gray kept the conversation brief.

He turned on the stereo in the car and Suzy’s gaze flew to his when the first strains of Bon Jovi’s Always drifted through the car. Gray’s lips lifted in a grin at the shock on Suzy’s face. “Claire told me you liked them. I’ve actually seen them in concert a few times. The first time was in Tokyo with my father, if you can believe it. It was the first time I traveled with him on business and the customer there had gotten the tickets for us. It was on New Year’s Eve 1990 and man what a night.

Mesmerized, Suzy watched the emotions flittering across his handsome face. “That was probably one of the highlights of my teenage years. I felt so damn important. I was out of the country with my father and he was treating me like an adult. I was also proud because my dad seemed like the coolest man in the world. He knew most of the songs and he sang and danced in the aisles along with everyone else.” With a laugh, Gray said, “I suspect now, he probably had some very strong alcohol helping him find his groove that night, but it was so great to see him let loose. I saw them again about ten years later in Fort Lauderdale with some buddies from college. We had a blast that evening, but it still didn’t compare to that first concert with my dad. That was special.” With a squeeze of her hand, he said, “Maybe you and I can catch a show the next time they’re touring.”

Suzy threw her head back and laughed until tears streamed down her face.

“You’re starting to hurt my ego here, baby, a simple no thank you would have been sufficient. You don’t have to laugh until you collapse.”

“Sorry,” she managed to choke out. “I wasn’t laughing about going to a concert with you; I was laughing because I never imagined you going to one period, unless it was a Harry Connick or Michael Buble. Not that there is anything wrong with them, I just imagined you would like quieter music. I told Claire once that I could never go out with you because you didn’t even own a Bon Jovi Tour shirt and now I find out you saw them in Japan, how cool.”