North and South
Page 144'One word more. You look as if you thought it tainted you to be
loved by me. You cannot avoid it. Nay, I, if I would, cannot
cleanse you from it. But I would not, if I could. I have never
loved any woman before: my life has been too busy, my thoughts
too much absorbed with other things. Now I love, and will love.
But do not be afraid of too much expression on my part.' 'I am not afraid,' she replied, lifting herself straight up. 'No
one yet has ever dared to be impertinent to me, and no one ever
shall. But, Mr. Thornton, you have been very kind to my father,'
said she, changing her whole tone and bearing to a most womanly
softness. 'Don't let us go on making each other angry. Pray
don't!' He took no notice of her words: he occupied himself in
smoothing the nap of his hat with his coat-sleeve, for half a
minute or so; and then, rejecting her offered hand, and making as
if he did not see her grave look of regret, he turned abruptly
away, and left the room. Margaret caught one glance at his face
before he went.
When he was gone, she thought she had seen the gleam of unshed
tears in his eyes; and that turned her proud dislike into
something different and kinder, if nearly as
painful--self-reproach for having caused such mortification to
any one.
'But how could I help it?' asked she of herself. 'I never liked
him. I was civil; but I took no trouble to conceal my
indifference. Indeed, I never thought about myself or him, so my
manners must have shown the truth. All that yesterday, he might
mistake. But that is his fault, not mine. I would do it again, if
need were, though it does lead me into all this shame and
trouble.'