No Regrets

David felt nothing at the man's words. No fear. No anger. Only the frigid calm of knowing he was going to feel this man die. He was going to take his life with his bare hands and make sure—without any doubt—that he could never hurt another woman again.

David tossed his gun to the ground with a metallic clatter and spread his hands wide. "Here I am. Let the woman go, and I'm yours."

David could feel Caleb tense behind him. They'd been buddies too long for David not to know that Caleb was thinking he was being a complete idiot giving himself up like that.

A malicious grin lit the man's eyes. "Tell your gargantuan friend there to back off," ordered the blond man.

"Get out, Caleb. I can handle this."

Caleb took a step and David could now see him out of the corner of his eye. "Don't be an idiot, Wolfe. He's gonna—"

David didn't let Caleb finish. "I said get out! That's an order, Lieutenant."

"Not without the girl, Captain," said Caleb.

David forced out a frustrated sigh though he still felt nothing but the incessant prowling of the monster inside him and the pressing need to kill.

"Fine." He walked right over to Noelle, making himself an easy target. The scarred man's gun moved from Noelle to David, giving him the chance to get her away. He shoved her wheeled chair toward Caleb, trusting him to get her out safely. As long as she got out, David truly didn't care what happened to him.

Now that David was within easy reach, the scarred man grabbed him around the throat with one arm and pressed the cold muzzle of his weapon against the side of David's face.

David forced himself to feel nothing.

Caleb grabbed Noelle, chair and all, and picked her up as if she was no heavier than a sack of groceries.

The chair dripped red, which David could now see was more water than blood. Noelle had been hurt, but not as badly as he'd suspected. He wanted to feel relief, but couldn't. If he let go even that much, the torrent of emotions pounding for release would burn him alive.

Once Noelle was safely on her way out of the building, David deliberately let his monster free. It howled in delight and took over David's body, giving him nearly inhuman speed.

With one flash of David's elbow, the scarred man's weapon went flying across the room. It was only a matter of seconds before David had the man pinned on the concrete floor, with his hands around the man's throat, watching him die.

David felt nothing. No sense of victory, no joy. Nothing.

When David could no longer feel the beat of the scarred man's heart beneath his fingers, he let go. Just to be sure the man would not come back from the dead again, David retrieved his weapon and put two bullets through the man's head.

Only then did he turn to walk away.

Caleb hadn't left as he'd been ordered. He was standing guard over Noelle, using his body to shield hers, and his weapon was aimed at the dead man. He'd stayed in case David had needed backup.

Noelle's head hung limply from her shoulders, but she was still conscious enough to see him. Her green eyes were bright with fear and revulsion, staring at the man David had just killed. She'd seen the whole thing. She'd seen him kill with his bare hands.

Noelle hated violence, and after what she'd just witnessed, David was sure that she would have no choice but to hate him as well.

Fury rose up in him, but he stomped it down. He had to keep hold of his emotions for her sake. He had to get her out of here safely.

David crossed the room, watching Noelle as he moved. She was getting weaker by the second. He could Uee her strength draining from her with every shiver of her slim body. David refused to let himself feel anything. Not yet. Not until Noelle was safe and warm. He'd done it. He'd avenged Mary's death, but it brought him no joy. No satisfaction.

He reached out for her and she flinched away from his touch.

It was confirmation of everything David had feared. She'd seen him kill with his bare hands to save her and in doing so, he'd lost her forever.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Noelle felt warmth close around her body. She couldn't open her eyes, but she heard familiar voices in little snips of conversation. She could smell David's skin as he warmed her, using his own body.

"... she's freezing ... get her warm... frostbite ..."

"He's dead." That voice was David's, though it didn't sound right. It sounded flat and cold.

"... injuries aren't severe ... worried about hypothermia ..."

Noelle struggled for enough strength to speak. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I tried not to teli them the coordinates. I tried ..."

"Hush, now," said David. He was close to her, speaking right next to her ear. His voice was still odd, but she didn't care. It was David. He was safe. "You didn't do anything wrong."

The warmth started to burn as feeling returned to her toes. Noelle stopped fighting sleep.

She woke later in a bed. There were hands all around her, a plastic mask over her nose and mouth. Everything hurt and she could feel needles poking her skin all over.

"Give her something for the pain," demanded David.

He was close, but she couldn't get her eyes open to see him. She tried to talk but couldn't figure out how to move the mask.

She felt the IV in the back of her hand wiggle, then whatever they'd given her for pain started working, and she went back to sleep.

The next time she woke it was dark. She was thirsty and her throat burned. There were faint noises around her of men talking in hushed whispers. "David?" she croaked.

The whispers stopped and she felt a warm, callused hand grasp hers. He was here. She was safe.

David refused to leave Noelle's side for two days. He was tired and hungry and ached from head to toe, but he couldn't bring himself to leave her. Not even knowing that as soon as she woke up, she'd look at him with revulsion.

Caleb stepped into the hospital room, his large body filling the doorway. There were no windows to the outside, for security reasons, and the only light in the room came in through tiny slits in the miniblinds covering the window in the interior wall that overlooked the nurses' station.

Caleb approached on silent feet, his black eyes taking in Noelle's condition in one thorough, sweeping glance.

"She's better today," he stated as he stepped up to the bed, across from David.

"Yeah. I think she is. It's hard to tell under all those bruises, but I keep hoping."

"You should get a shower. I'll sit with her while you're gone, if you like."

One side of David's mouth twitched. "Is that your subtle way of telling me I stink?"

"A lot. If you want her to have anything to do with you when she wakes up, I suggest you clean the mud off your boots, shower and put on fresh clothes."

David looked back at Noelle. She was so still and pale under all the bruises that every time he saw her his gut twisted into a tight knot. He'd nearly lost her, and the thought still shook him to the core every time it passed through his mind, which was about every thirty seconds. He tried not to think about it, but the room was quiet, and her cuts and bruises were constant reminders of how close he'd come to losing her. How close she'd come to ending up like Mary.

"I'll leave in a while."

Caleb nodded in acceptance and pulled up a chair to sit down. He settled into his seat with the patience of a man who had no plans of going anywhere soon. "What are you going to do now?" asked Caleb.

"What do you mean? I'm going to sit here until she wakes up."

"And then what?"

David looked up into Caleb's patient, black gaze. A bleak emptiness filled his chest. He knew what Caleb was asking.

David knew what he had to do. As much as it hurt him, he had to walk away from Noelle. Her doctor had confirmed that she wasn't pregnant. He'd demanded that they check, just in case. She'd started her period, so there wasn't even that excuse left to keep David from leaving. David had to give her a chance for a real life—one without the threat of violence looming over her every day

She deserved to be happy. He wanted her to be happy. He loved her enough to walk away so that she could be.

David planned to go into hiding so deep that no one would ever find him again. Not even Monroe. He'd leave the country, crawl into some jungle so thick it would swallow him whole. Not even satelhtes would be able to see him.

He'd disappear and Noelle would be safe from the taint of violence that still stained his soul.

"That's not what she wants," said Caleb, as if hearing David's silent thoughts. "That's not what you want."

"And you know me so well after being apart for two years that you think you know what I really want?"

Caleb nodded his dark head. "Yeah. I do."

"Okay, Mr. Observant. What do you think I really want?"

"Noelle."

"Well, of course I still want her. She's a beautiful woman."

"I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about more than that. Commitment. Love. Forever."

"I can't. Not again. Not after what happened to Mary."

"Noelle isn't Mary. If you can't figure that out, then you don't deserve her."

"I didn't deserve Mary, either."

"She thought you did. She'd want you to be happy, you know."

"Yeah. I do. She loved me, but part of me feels like I'm' cheating on her, betraying her memory somehow."

"You're only betraying her memory if you stop living. You've been dead for two years. Isn't that long enough to punish yourself?"

The only punishment that fit his crime was to die the same way Mary had—tortured, cold and alone.

David pulled the gold chain off his neck and dangled his wedding band in front of him. Light played over the simple golden surface, making his eyes sting with tears. He still loved Mary. He always would. How could he dishonor her by putting another innocent woman in harm's way because he was selfish enough to want a second chance at happiness?

He couldn't. He loved Noelle as much as he'd loved Mary. He never thought it would be possible to love like that again, but he did. It only made it that much harder to walk away from her.

It also made it that much more necessary.

"It doesn't matter what I want," said David.

"Fine. Let's just say you're right about that. What about what Noelle wants?" asked Caleb.

"Noelle hates violence. She saw what 1 did to that man who'd taken her, and I saw the way she looked at me when I reached for her. She pulled away. Flinched as if I'd hurt her."

Caleb stared at him with a look that told David he thought he was a total idiot. "Hell, I'd have pulled away, too.

You have no idea what you looked like back there, do you?"

At David's bewildered frown, Caleb said, "You were covered in mud, your face streaked with paint. There were spots of blood on your clothes and skin and a feral gleam in your eyes that had even me scared you'd gone over the edge. You'd just killed a man with your bare hands and you looked like you were ready to do it again. She probably figured you'd gone a little crazy. Hell, I thought the same thing until you calmed down."

"She should have known I'd never hurt her. The fact that she didn't only proves that she really does see me as a violent man."

Caleb rolled his black eyes and gave a snort of disgust. "She was out of her head, man—delirious from drugs and hypothermia and likely scared to death she was going to die. And she's a civilian. Give her a break, fuckhead. Unless you're just using that as an excuse not to try to make things work with her."