No Regrets

"You wouldn't have had to kill any of them if it weren't for me."

"This isn't your fault. The Swarm were the ones who decided to start killing people in order to break that code. That decision had nothing to do with you. You just got caught in the middle."

Noelle leaned against David's body, tucking her head under his chin. She felt so right there, curled up against him. It took all his willpower to remember that she was only in his lap because she needed comfort—and only comfort.

"Is it over now?" she asked. "They're all dead, aren't they?"

He was quiet for a long time and could feel the subtle increase in her tension that told him she realized the truth. It wasn't over yet.

"I don't think there are any more men following us," he said. "But we have, to be careful. The Swarm wants that code broken and they won't stop until it is."

"I don't think I can take any more of this." Her voice broke on a sob, but she held back her tears. Part of him wished she would let go and release all that guilt and fear. She'd cry, fall asleep exhausted and wake up feeling better.

David really wanted her to feel better.

"You're upset. You have a right to be, but you can't let that get in the way of moving forward. You still have a job to do and so do I."

"So, what now? Another safe house?"

"No. I have a better idea."

"You know a place where the Swarm can't find us?"

He shook his head, making his chin graze over her hair. The stubble on his chin caught her curls, tying them together. "No matter where we go, they'll find us eventually, but 1 know a place they aren't likely to look."

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't exist."

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Noelle only wished it didn't exist. She eyed the cabin as David pulled the Bronco up near the weathered front door.

Rustic would have been a kind euphemism for this place. As it was, the cabin was more... primitive than she would have hoped for.

"What is this place?" she asked, hoping that the sound of good-Lord-please-don't-make-me-sleep-here didn't come through in her voice.

They'd been on the road for hours and David's mouth was bracketed by weary lines, but he still managed a small grin. "It's a hunting cabin owned by a friend of mine. He won't mind if we use it."

Noelle stared at the one-room cabin and detached outhouse with mistrust. She was sure there had to be things living in there. Things with more legs than she had, which didn't make good roommates.

David had been watching her and stifled a chuckle at the look on her face. She noticed his amusement but said nothing. The poor man had been going for hours and his weariness was beginning to show on his face. He needed to rest, and if this was where he could do that, she'd accept it. And sleep in the car.

"I'll clean it up a bit," he promised. "Once I get the generator going you'll see that it's not so bad."

Noelle pulled in a breath for courage and stepped up onto the porch. "I'd rather be here than dead. I'll give it that."

David grunted his agreement.

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful or anything," said Noelle. "But why this place?"

David started to unload the Bronco. "This is Caleb's secret hunting cabin, and I'm sure he won't mind if I use it."

"Who's Caleb?"

David's expression went blank as he shut down against her question. "A friend of mine. We went through basic training together."

Noelle wanted to pull the man back out from under the mask. She'd been given a glimpse of the real man when he'd told her about his wife's death. That man was loving and passionate and buried under a mountain of grief and pain and guilt. She wanted to do something to give him back his spirit, though she had no idea how to go about doing something like that. "Are you still friends?"

"Yeah, but I haven't seen him for two years." His tone was curt, his words clipped.

"Then how do you know he won't mind if we barge in here?"

He stared at her with a cold blue gaze for a moment before some of that ice melted. One corner of his well-defined mouth lifted in a wry grin. "Because if there's one thing Caleb can't stand, it's turning his back on a woman in trouble.

The man has a soft spot a mile wide when it comes to the fairer sex. It's gotten him into some tight spots, but he can't seem to help himself. It's a sickness."

"So because I'm a woman in need of a place to hide, he wouldn't care that we're taking over his cabin without his knowledge?"

"Hell, Caleb would hand over the deed to the property if he thought you needed it. That's just his way."

Noelle smiled in response to the amusement in David's tone. "Sounds like a great guy."

"He is. I miss him."

There was so much aching emotion stuffed into those little words that it made Noelle's heart clench in protest against the pain she heard in his voice. "Where is he?"

David shook his dark head. "I have no idea. He and Grant, another buddy of ours, were inseparable for years. When 1 left the service, they went on working together without me. I hope they're still alive. Both of them are good men."

Noelle longed to reach out and touch him, but she didn't dare. His body seemed to be coiled too tightly, like the slightest pressure would make him explode. "Maybe when all of this is over, you can see them again."

David shrugged, the motion saying he didn't care, but the look of longing in his eyes gave the truth away. "Maybe."

Noelle hated seeing that pain of loss on his face, so she tried to change the subject back to that which had made him smile. "So, other than the fact that Caleb is a sucker for a woman in trouble, I can't see that there's a lot to recommend this place."

"Ah, but that's the beauty of it. Caleb built this place with his own two hands and a little help from Grant and me.

There was never any record of building permits or any traces that this cabin even exists. No address, no phone, no utilities. It's the perfect hiding place, if you don't mind roughing it a bit."

"I suppose I won't mind, then. I mean, being safe is more important than having a hot shower, right?"

David nodded slowly. "Or an indoor toilet."

Noelle cringed. No toilet was definitely much worse than no hot shower. Still, she wasn't stupid enough to turn down a place that provided safety, even if it wasn't going to be fun living here.

With David.

She was going to be alone with him here. No one knew where they were. It should have scared her, but instead the thought gave her a little thrill. "I promise I won't complain as long as you promise to remove any creepy-crawly things. I can deal with being hunted and having no hot water, but I refuse to share space with spiders."

"Deal," he said with a crooked grin as he hefted several bags of supplies toward the cabin. Muscles along his spine bunched with strength and Noelle couldn't help but stare. Every feminine part she had was acutely aware of David.

She knew he was still in love with his wife, but that didn't stop her from wanting to know what it would feel like to be held by him. To be kissed and have her naked skin touched by those long, strong fingers.

Just the thought was enough to make her hands sweat and her heart speed. On an intellectual level, it was an intriguing physical reaction, but she wasn't really paying attention to that part. For the first time in her life, she was feeling the instinctive tug of a man who would certainly be a formidable lover.

He was watching her with narrowed eyes and she prayed he couldn't read her thoughts as they crossed her face. She felt like a teenager with her first crush, insecure and worried that the feelings would not be reciprocated. It was best if she kept her feelings hidden and saved herself the inevitable pain of rejection.

"You should probably stay out here until I convince the eight-legged natives to relocate," he suggested.

"Good idea," she said with a suppressed shiver. She told herself it was the thought of spiders that had her shivering and not David's scrutinizing gaze.

"As soon as I get the generator going, you can fire up your laptop and get to work on the code. That envelope should still be in your pocket with the satellite phone."

Noelle dug in her pocket and pulled out the phone and the envelope. She set the phone on the Bronco's hood and carefully opened the envelope.

"Maybe that will get your mind off having to use an outhouse," said David.

Noelle smoothed the wrinkled paper flat over her thigh. It was the ciphertext Monroe had shown her.

Noelle studied the page, and felt her heart give a kick of excitement. "I didn't think I was ever going to get another chance to see this."

"Guess you were wrong. I hope it's worth that shine of excitement I see in your face. I'd hate to let you down."

"I doubt I'll be disappointed. There's something truly magnificent here. I just don't know what it is yet." She took the page and wandered over to the weathered wooden stairs leading up to the porch. "I tend to zone out when I work.

Ten minutes from now, I won't even remember what state we're in, much less our living conditions." Already she could feel the lure of the puzzle at her brain, and she welcomed the distraction wholeheartedly. "This script is beautiful."

She hadn't moved in two hours.

David had managed to get the generator running, cleaned up the cabin so that it was livable, carried in all the supplies and thrown together a dinner of salad and turkey sandwiches.

The surrounding forest got dark fast when the sun started to set and by the way Noelle was squinting as she sat on the porch, the lack of light was starting to prove a problem for her.

"Why don't you come inside now," be said in a quiet voice so he wouldn't startle her.

She blinked and looked at him like she hadn't even remembered he was here. She wasn't joking about zoning out when she worked.

She took off her glasses to rub her eyes and massaged the back of her neck with one hand. "What time is it?"

"Dinnertime. Come eat."

"In a minute," she said as her gaze was drawn back to the page and whatever meaning she saw in what was gobbledygook to the rest of humanity.

David pulled the page from her hand, being careful not to tear it. "Oh, no you don't. It's time to eat. You can have this back after dinner."

She sighed but rose stiffly to her feet and followed him inside, stretching with a sinuous arch of her back.

David averted his eyes, refusing to stare. The innocent motion curved her body into an intriguing arc that reminded him of a woman's sexual release and left his mouth dry with lust.

As she entered the cabin for the first time, her dark green eyes roamed the single room, though because of the deep shadows inside, he couldn't see her expression clearly enough to tell if she was disgusted or merely curious.

"It's not nearly as bad as I imagined," she said.

David felt some of his tension leave him as she made that statement. Until now, he hadn't realized just how worried he was that she wouldn't find this place bearable. Knowing that she did, he put thoughts of relocating out of his head for now. Sooner or later, they'd have to leave and he had a stock of alternate plans for when that time came, but for now, this was his best option for her protection.