New York: Allie's War, Early Years

For a brief, silent moment, I felt like a part of the world again. I felt connected to everything around me, in a way I often forgot in my day-to-day life.

I didn't just believe it. I felt my connectedness to it...

I remembered I wasn't really alone.

That pain hit me again, harder. With it came a strangely cathartic feeling, a folding sensation, like an eyeglass collapsing somewhere inside my mind. I went away somewhere in that. The golden light I'd felt, that still managed to make me feel like I was part of that tapestry of sky and light...and yes, even fire...grew brighter still.

Briefly, I was floating.

An ocean surrounded me, covered in diamonds.

The fire, everything seemed to both dim and grow really, really bright...

...and then there was yelling.

A lot of yelling.

It took another few seconds for me to understand that the yelling was because of me.

***

I was gasping, light-headed.

I managed to open my eyes. I was sweating, and I could barely see, even with my eyes open. Light filled my eyes, like the blinding white after a camera flash in the dark, only this one was tinged with green. It also didn't seem to be fading.

I could see movement around me, but I could barely make it out, or what it meant. The people who'd been standing over me seemed to be dancing around, yelling, but I had no idea why. I blinked, trying to see them...couldn't. I thought maybe I was burning, but I wasn't in pain; I just felt drugged again, like some part of me was elsewhere, leaving the rest of me behind. I felt like I did after I gave blood actually, like part of me was missing.

I blinked my eyes, trying again to clear my vision. That time, slowly, the light that filled them began to dim, enough that I could make out shapes.

It took me a moment more to focus on the men around me. Most of them were still yelling, and it was disorienting, but they didn't seem to be focused on me.

Then I realized at least half of them were on fire.

My eyes cleared a bit more. Fear seemed to help with the light, bringing my vision back into sharper focus. Ponytail guy and the man who'd called me a snake, who'd been standing beside one of the spokes of fire, were burning. They were closest to me, but I could see at least two other dark-clad figures on fire across from them, on the other side of the basin.

The other three forms I could see seemed to be trying to put them out. They beat frantically at their clothes, using jackets and even their hands, rolling them on the grass.