Neither (The Noctalis Chronicles 3)
One
Ava
I wake with my face pressed against something smooth and soft. It's not warm, whatever it is, but it feels familiar. Opening my eyes seems like a lot of work, so I don't bother. Instead, I focus on breathing. There is a wonderful scent around me. Something cool and sharp. Wintergreen?
“Ava?” a voice speaks in my ear. The voice is also familiar and conjures memories of a face with dark hair falling in front of it. Two eyes — one green, one blue — and a set of blacker-than-night wings.
Peter.
I open my eyes and am met by a wall of black feathers. I turn my head, trying to find a way out.
“Peter?”
“Ava.”
A little light enters the feather cave, and I realize I'm under the shelter of Peter's wings. I am also pressed to his bare chest. It takes me way too long to realize this. It also takes me a little bit longer to realize that I should be dead right now. My hand goes to my neck, where he bit me. My fingers find a piece of gauze.
“What happened?” I ask the stupidest question ever.
“Many things.”
Of course, he's going to be Mr. I-don't-want-to-burden-your-weak-human-brain-with-big-important-things-you-can't-understand. Yeah, that's not gonna fly. I may be weak, but I'm not stupid.
“Could you give me a play-by-play and not treat me like I can't handle it? I think I've proved that I can by now.”
I move my face away from his chest, as difficult as that is, to look at my surroundings. Huh. I'm in my bedroom, as if this is a normal night. Peter in my bed isn't anything new, but he usually doesn't have his wings out.
“I did not change you. Or kill you,” he says, adjusting so I can move easier.
I fight the urge to smack him. It would hurt me more than it would hurt him. “Yeah, I noticed. So how did you weasel your way out of that one?” My neck is sore as I try to turn it from side to side. There's also a lovely bite mark from Peter on one side. “Viktor. He came with Texas and gave us a chance to escape.”
“How?” I glance up at his eyes, and he blinks. I'm guessing that's a shrug.
“He gave himself up. He made another bind.”
I sit up, hitting one of his wings with my head. “What?” This is not happening. Of all the stupid things...
“That he would avenge Ivan's death, by taking the life of the person who took his.” His calmer-than-calm voice is normally sexy. Not so much right now. I want him to be as freaked out as I am.
“That would be me. So now he wants to kill me, too.” Why don't I just paint a bull’s-eye on my forehead? Come and get me, bloodsuckers.
“He does not want to,” he says, as if that makes it better.
“And she took that?”
“For now.” Great. Just fan-freaking-tastic. My head can't think about that little development right now. Di isn't the only one who wants me gone.
“What about Cal?” Saying his name makes me want to puke. He almost scares me more than Di.
“He left with her. He will be back.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
I look out my window. The sun is still fairly low in the sky, but my parents will be up soon. I don't think I can get myself into a standing position.
“What do we do now?” I've asked him this so many times. Always wanting the answer to be turning me into a noctalis. “Oh my God, I have to call Tex.” I search my nightstand for my phone.
“My head is killing me.”
I don't want him to leave, but I have to take something for my head and the rest of me. He makes sure to cradle my body and let me down easy as he gets up, folding his wings so he can fit through my bathroom doorway. He comes back only a few seconds later with a glass and a couple of pills. I swallow them as he settles back on my bed, pulling me onto his chest again.
“You didn't answer my question. What do we do?” I say.
“Wait.”
Oh, that is it. “Wait? Seriously? That's your big plan? Sit around and wait like… sitting ducks?” I wish I didn't feel so crappy, because I want to be more forceful.
His fingers dance up and down my arm. Very distracting. “That has nothing to do with it. There is nothing we can do without gathering more information.”
“Yeah, that worked out real well last time.”
“Viktor knows some noctali that might be able to help. They usually try to stay out of affairs like this one.”
“Wait, isn't him helping against the bind? How can he help us if he's also supposed to kill me?” I say.
“The bind was only that he would take your life. It said nothing about helping.” That crap is way too confusing.
“Why didn't you call on them before?”
Blink.
“Usually when you ask for something, you must give something in return. I wanted to avoid that as much as I could,” he says. This does not inspire confidence.
“What is it with you guys and promises and an eye for an eye? It's very old-fashioned,” I say.
“Good point.”
I move my head so his shoulder blocks the sun that's starting to peer through my curtains. Go away, sun. I just want to lie here forever with Peter, even if I remain human. We can just stay like this.
“Why didn't you change me?” I whisper, almost afraid to ask the question. His lips find my temple, and I let myself sink into the feel of them on my skin. I still want an answer.
“Because I didn't want to. I was going to,” he says, pausing.
I move my head so I can meet his eyes. I hope he tells me the truth, and not what he thinks I should hear.
“You were? What stopped you?”
“It wasn't the right time.” I sit up again in shock.
“What do you mean, right time? Does that mean that you're going to?” This is news to me. Really big news. Colossal news.
“Would you want me to?” He brushes some hair out of my eyes.
I'm speechless for a moment. Way to change your mind, Peter.
“If that's what it takes, yes. I want you to be free.” I put my hand on his perfect face. I'd give anything for him. Even my life. I see that now more than ever. I thought I was going to lose him, and I never want to go through that again.
“You could change me right here, right now,” I say.
“Immortality is not what you think it is, my Ava. I would not choose it for you. But if it is what you want, it is what you want.”