Needing Her

I was so used to turning off these kinds of emotions around them, but I couldn’t anymore. I was too close to breaking from everything. My tough exterior I showed my family was cracking, and I knew I only needed one of them to poke me before I shattered into a million pieces. The moment they saw the tears, each one of my big brothers froze and looked like they were going to lock me away somewhere safe before going on a killing spree for whomever had made me cry.

Sam and Dakota were the first ones to start toward me, but I held my hand up at the same time a sob burst from my chest, and they both stopped their advance. Their gray eyes wildly searched my face, and it looked like Dakota was struggling to find something to say to me, but I didn’t wait to find out what. I turned and headed toward the stairs with Amber.

Once we were in our room with the door locked, Amber grabbed me in a hug and let me cry against her shoulder. She didn’t say anything, she just stood there and slowly ran a hand through my long hair, trying to soothe me as we listened to my family flipping out upstairs.

Four different times, people came to the door and spoke through it. Sometimes it was my brothers and the last was my parents. My brothers were freaking out over seeing me cry, but were still pissed off over Bryce; and my parents just told me they loved me and would talk to me about Bryce tomorrow.

“Did you think it would be Connor?” she asked when my parents had left, my body had stopped shaking, and the tears had dried out.

I nodded against her shoulder and released my death grip on her. Turning around, I headed toward our bathroom and wasn’t even shocked when I saw how horrible I looked. I felt even worse; the streaked makeup was just the cherry on top. Grabbing my makeup remover and face wash, I turned on the water and went about cleaning up.

Looking at myself in the mirror when I was done, I let everything Bryce and Connor had said to me in the last day race through my mind.

“I do look like the mistress,” I whispered to my reflection.

Amber did a double take from where she’d been standing at the entrance of the bathroom. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

I took out the hoop in my nose and set it on the counter as I continued staring at myself in the mirror. “Bryce is right, I need to stop being like this.” A short, pained laugh burst from my chest. “Both he and Connor were right. I need to grow up. At my hair appointment in two weeks, I’m going to start going back to blonde.”

“No, Maci . . . don’t do that because of what that douche said.”

“The only two guys I’ve been with have both told me to grow up within a short time. There has to be truth to that, and if this is part of the process of growing up . . . then it’s what I’m going to do. I know it won’t bring Connor back to me; I never meant anything to him.” I winced saying those words out loud. “But I can mean something to someone. I just—it’s just what I need to do,” I said resolutely before walking out of the bathroom and crawling back in bed.

Amber slid onto my bed instead of going to her own and wrapped an arm around me, holding me tight. “They’re both ass**les if they couldn’t see how amazing you are. You’re going to make some guy ridiculously happy just the way you are, Maci. Don’t change because of two guys.”

But I’d already made up my mind. I knew what had to be done. I was just hoping that my physical makeover could somehow help with the heartache I wasn’t sure I could get over.

Connor

MY PHONE RANG somewhere beside me, and I slapped my hand around on the bed until I found it. I didn’t know the number, but that didn’t mean much, I just hoped like hell it wasn’t work. I’d just gotten back from my parents’ house and had endured hours from them, Amy, and Kevin over what I’d done to Maci two nights ago. Like I didn’t already hate myself enough as it was. After that, it was safe to say I really didn’t want to deal with work when I was supposed to be on vacation.

“This is Detective Green.”

“I had high hopes for you. What the hell did you do to her?”

I sat up and glanced at the screen again. “Excuse me, who is this?”

“Maci’s been walking around this cabin like she belongs on The Walking Dead. Of course, I’m the only one that knew about you, so I know this has to do with you. What did you do to my best friend?”

“Amber, look there’s a lot about Maci and me that you don’t know.”

She snorted. “I know that you’re a dick, and you broke her heart! I know that she’s taking out her piercings and saying she’s going back to blonde. I know that Bryce is in Mammoth too and telling Maci’s dad that he’s going to marry her, and I’m pretty sure after the shit you pulled, she’s considering it!”

I was already off the bed and running through my apartment, looking for my keys and wallet. “Why the f**k is Bryce there?”

“Surprised you never noticed that his family has a cabin up here too.”

“She can’t marry him, he doesn’t f**king care about her! He wants to change her; he wants to make her into what he thinks a wife should be. Not who Maci is.”

“You know, for a guy who said all he did was f**k her,” she sneered, “you sound more pissed off than you have a right to be.”

“Amber, I told you, there’s a lot that you don’t know. I . . . shit.”

I slammed my fist on the frame of the door and tried to talk myself out of driving up there. She needed to find someone else. I was hearing those words repeating themselves in my mind, but I wasn’t understanding them. Because at the moment, all I could think about was the sick feeling spreading through my stomach at the thought of her with Bryce. With anyone. She was mine. Fuck her brothers.