Mountains of Dawn

A fist held Judith's heart and squeezed with each word of praise she heard during the awards ceremony. She felt no pride in her part, no joy at the deaths of the Shredder and his men. Jim's life had been a part of it; Jim's widow, Donna, sat beside her. Carl sat beside Donna, his arm bandaged and strapped to his chest. A quiet tear rolled down her cheek.

Brian Miller sat, elegant in a grey suit with a red carnation in his lapel, and watched her. He could see her pain; his guilt washed over him in waves.

Following the ceremony, a long line formed of well-wishers, eager to shake the hands of the heroes. Brian waited his turn, slowly moving toward Judith.

"Congratulations, Agent Abramson," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "I hope you'll see me soon. I care."

Judith stared at him with big eyes, eyes which seemed to see further than his face. "Thank you, Brian," she said. "Thank you." Her eyes slid off his face and toward the next person in line.

Brian sighed. "Malcolm, she refuses to speak to me. She acts as if I don't exist."

"Give her time, Brian. She's been through a lot. Give her time to heal."

"But I want to help her heal, want to hold her, give her the support she needs. I know how she feels," Brian said, a moan at the edges of his words, "I know how she feels about killing. And I'm sure she feels guilt over the death of the agent who played my part." He took a deep breath. "Malcolm, I almost wish that agent really was me, that I was in the car with her that day. Then I wouldn't have to face her this way."

"Brian, don't be ridiculous. I don't want to hear you talk that way ever again. Jim was aware of the risks he took, and he took them all the same. He was a great agent. It's part of the job. Judith takes the same risks every day." He frowned at his brother. "What are your intentions toward her, anyway? Is she just another conquest for you?"

"God, no, Malcolm. I want to take care of her. I want to marry her."

"Well, I hope you remembered to divorce your previous wife," Malcolm said with a touch of irony. "Last time, you forgot."

"No, I didn't, and you know it. It was just a mess-up with paperwork. Everything was straightened out."