More Than Want You

Kind of like me with Britta. “Yeah. Platonic friendships with a woman are a mind blower the first time you have one.”

“Totally. This receptionist really opened my eyes. At first, we talked about my anger. Slowly, we started talking about my childhood. And we talked a lot about you.”

I’m suddenly wishing I had another martini. The tone of this conversation has been shockingly positive until now…but I can’t stop thinking it can still take a turn for the worse. “What did she conclude?”

He looks up at me, his hazel eyes full of gravity. “That I need my brother in my life.”

When Griff looks like he’s working hard to tamp down emotion, it grips me in the chest, squeezing everything between my ribs until I can’t breathe. My brother has never been emotional. Hell, I never have, either. But his words hit me in the middle like a two-by-four, knocking the breath out of me. “What do you think?”

He shrugs, dragging his fork through the remnants of his dessert, as if looking at me is too much to take.

“She’s been right about so many other things. She knows people. Really gets them.” He finally looks my way, and I see more stark emotion he’s barely managing to hold back. “I suspect she’s right about this, too. She sure reamed me a new one after I called you the other night about Dad. She told me I was looking at the situation all wrong. In retrospect…I was a stupid hothead. She was right about that, too. She’s really helped me get my head screwed on straight in about every facet of my life. She introduced me to healthy food, yoga, and meditation.” He looks up at me, brow raised. “Sound familiar?”

It takes me about half a second to make the connection. Once I do, I swear I can barely breathe. “Keeley?”

“Yeah.”

His confirmation is a complete bombshell. “She’s been your friend for more than two years?”

He nods. “The best.”

“So…” She was a plant? A spy? A…what? “Was any of her relationship with me real?”

“Let me finish explaining. Then everything will make sense.”

When I nod numbly, I have to resist the urge to hurry him up and put me out of my misery. I can’t stand the thought that Keeley doesn’t love me a fraction as much as my heart beats for her.

Thankfully, Griff doesn’t drag it out.

“I just want you to know that I never have touched Keeley, not even once.”

“She said you kissed her the other night.”

“On the cheek, like I always do. That’s it. I probably would have come apart a long time ago if she wasn’t one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I was never going to muddy that with sex. And she’s wanted to meet you forever…”

I think through what he’s really saying and the truth whacks me in the face. “It wasn’t a coincidence that she was in that bar the night we met. Or that she zeroed in on me.”

He shakes his head. “She’s been insisting for some time that I wasn’t going to be whole until you and I cleared the air. Well, she also thinks I need to resolve things with—” He stops himself, shakes his head. I see agony on his face. “The important thing is, the day you called the Stowes to drum up business, I got fucking furious. I was ready to unleash a shit storm on you. Keeley took me aside—again—to remind me about love and tolerance. Forgiveness. I was trying. But that afternoon, I told her I was going to go to that shitty bar and beat the crap out of you. She tsked at me.”

I can actually picture the moment. “She does that a lot.”

“Yeah, but she’s usually right. She suggested that she should meet you at the little dive instead. I called Gus, the guy who owns the place, and paid him a hundred bucks to let her sing.” He drags in a breath. “She wanted us back together…but she wanted to meet you first, get the lay of your land, and see the best way to approach you. When you propositioned her about distracting me, she was worried that you extracting revenge would undo all the progress I’d managed and that if she didn’t play along, you’d just find someone else to help you. What she didn’t expect was to fall in love with you.” He taps his fork against his plate. “Her relationship with you was totally real. You broke her fucking heart, Maxon.”

I close my eyes. I’m still reeling from Griff’s confession that he and Keeley are friends when he stabs me with the sharpest of his words. I doubt he means to…but that’s how it feels. I can only blame myself. I know I’m a fucking wretch—but I’m still not giving up. “Hell, I broke my own heart with that stupid shit. But when Dad came by, then you called… It’s no excuse for putting the Stowe listing over her. I just…fell into old hatred.”

“That’s what I told her when she showed up at my place in tears. Normally, I would suggest that two people in conflict work it out. That’s what she’s taught me. But before I let you see her again, I needed to know that you really love her.”

I frown. “That’s what tonight’s meeting is about? Me proving that?”

“Yeah. I, um…used her Facebook status as a litmus test, to see if it would matter to you. You never lifted a finger to get Tiff back, so I had to gauge you somehow.”

I grip the table. “Tiff was never important. Keeley is everything.”

My brother murmurs his agreement. “After everything she’s done for me, I put aside my pride, my past, my inability to apologize…” He laughs at himself. “I had to know if you’d changed enough to be worthy of her.”

“I have,” I swear.

“I see.” He nods.

My head is still spinning with everything Griff has told me. But my goal is still completely clear and top of my list. “Good. I want to see her now.”

A look of regret passes over his face.

She won’t see me, period? It’s my first concern. I panic. She can’t do this, can’t leave me. Well, she can but…no. We can’t stay apart. I’ll die if I can’t see her again, at least one last time. If she can’t forgive me, that’s on me. But I have to at least tell her how damn sorry I am.

I’m already gathering arguments when Griff holds up his hands. “I’m not saying no. I’m just telling you that she’s gone to Phoenix.”

The bottom drops out of my stomach before logic sets in again. Okay, I need to get on the first flight out. I won’t bother with a suitcase. I can buy shit there. I refuse to have her wondering even an hour longer than necessary how I feel about her and if I value her above all else. “I’m going now. Where can I find her?”