Moonlight Mile (Kenzie & Gennaro 6)
Page 60I said nothing.
“Helene had spent the day drinking because she got stood up on a date the night before. She put me to bed at five o’clock because she was too far in the bag to deal with me anymore. And then at seven o’clock—on the dot—she came into my bedroom to apologize for being such a bad mother, feeling all sorry for herself and confusing that with empathy for another human being. And while she was apologizing, she puked all over me.”
Amanda reached out and pulled the small teapot to her. She poured the rest of it into her cup. She didn’t have to blow on it as much this time.
“I’m—”
“Don’t dare say you’re sorry, Patrick. Spare me that, please.”
A long, dead minute passed.
“You ever see them anymore?” I asked eventually. “The Doyles?”
“They’re prohibited from having any contact with me. It’s a provision of their probation.”
“But you know where they are.”
She looked at me for a moment, then nodded. “Tricia did one year in jail and got another fifteen probation. Jack got out two years ago, after ten years in prison for reading me bedtime stories and giving me proper nutrition. They’re still together. You believe that? She waited for him.” She looked at me with shiny, defiant eyes. “They live in North Carolina now, just outside Chapel Hill.” She pulled her hair from its ponytail and shook it violently until it hung straight down beside her face again. From back in its shroud, her eyes found me again. “Why’d you do it?”
“Bring you home?”
“It was a case of situational ethics versus societal ones, I guess. I took society’s side.”
“Lucky me.”
“I don’t know that I’d do any differently now,” I said. “You want me to feel guilty and I do, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong. If you keep Claire, trust me, you’ll do things that make her hate you, but you’ll do them because you’ll believe it’s for her own good. Every time you say no to her, for example. And sometimes you’ll feel bad about it. But that’s an emotional response, not a rational one. Rationally, I know damn well I don’t want to live in a world where people can just pluck a child out of a family they deem bad and raise a stolen child as they see fit.”
“Why not? That’s what the Department of Children and Families does. That’s what the government does all the time when they take kids away from bad parents.”
“After due process, though. After checks and balances and diligent investigation of the charges. You, on the other hand? One day your uncle Lionel snapped when your mother left you in the sun all afternoon because she was drunk. She took you home when she should have taken you to an emergency room, and Lionel came up to deal with your cries. He called a cop who was known for kidnapping kids he felt lived in unsafe environments, and they kidnapped you. No due process for your mother—”
“Don’t call her my mother, if you please.”
“Fine. No due process for Helene. No representation of her side of the story. Nothing.”
“My uncle Lionel had watched Helene ‘raise’ me, for lack of a better word, for four years. I’d say she was the beneficiary of four years of due process and due diligence on his watch.”
“Then he should have filed charges with DCF and asked a court for the right to raise you. It worked for Kurt Cobain’s sister, and she went up against a celebrity with money.”
She nodded. “Nice. When it comes to—what’d you call it?—societal ethics versus situational ones, Patrick Kenzie invokes the memory of Kurt Cobain to represent the interests of the state.”
Amanda leaned forward. “Because here’s what I heard about you many years later—I heard that the child molester you killed while you were looking for me? What was his name?”
“Corwin Earle.”
“Right. I heard—from [_impeccable _]sources—that he didn’t have a weapon when you shot him. That he posed no direct threat to you.” She sipped her tea. “And you shot him dead. Shot him in the back, wasn’t it?”
“The back of the neck, actually. And his hand was touching a weapon, technically speaking.”
“Technically speaking. So, you come upon a child molester who poses no direct threat to you, at least not by the state’s definition if they had investigated very hard, and you deal with this by firing one hell of a situational ethic into the back of his head.” She raised her cup to me. “Well done. I’d clap, but I don’t want to wake the baby.”
We sat in silence for a bit and she never took her eyes off me. Her self-possession was, quite frankly, a bit scary. It definitely didn’t fill me with feelings of warmth. And yet, I liked her. I liked that the world had given her a raw deal and she’d dealt with it by playing the world’s game right up to the point where she raised her middle finger to it and walked away from the whole sham. I liked that she refused to wallow in self-pity. I liked that she seemed incapable of asking for anyone’s approval.
“You’ll never give that baby up, will you?”
“They could break every bone in my body, and I’d continue fighting them with whatever muscle I got left. Cut out my tongue or I’ll never stop screaming with it. And if they lose sight of me for one second, I’ll sink my teeth into their eyes.”
“Like I said, you’ll never give up that baby, will you, Amanda?”
“And you?” She smiled. “You would never let me fight the fight alone, would you, Patrick?”
“Okay.”
“But Yefim’s going to want a baby.”
“We might be able to stall him on that if he gets the cross.”
“Yeah, but he won’t give us Sophie. He’ll just let us live another day.”
“That twit.”
“Who?”
“Sophie. You know I sent her to Vancouver right after, well, after—”
“Dre told me all about the bloodbath with Timur in the birthing room.”
“Ah. Yeah, so after that, I send Sophie to Vancouver with impeccable paperwork. I mean, flawless. The kind people pay six figures for. I rebirthed her.”
“But the new birth canal led right back to the Russian mob.”