Mini Shopaholic (Shopaholic #6)

Bonnie has turned pink and keeps glancing towards the door as though for escape.

‘Look,’ I say, trying to get her attention. ‘Here we are together, the two women who spend the most time with Luke. We know him better than anyone else. Shouldn’t we be able to share our experiences and learn from each other? I won’t tell him or anything!’ I add, suddenly realizing I might not have made this clear enough. ‘This is strictly between you and me. I swear.’

There’s a long pause. I think I might be getting through to her.

‘Just one thing,’ I cajole. ‘One teeny, tiny little thing …’

Bonnie takes a gulp of water as though stiffening her nerves.

‘Well,’ she says at last. ‘I suppose the birthday-card situation is a little frustrating.’

‘Birthday-card situation?’

‘The staff birthday cards, you know.’ She blinks at me. ‘I have a stack of them for him to sign for the whole year, but he won’t get round to it. Which is understandable, he’s very busy …’

‘I’ll get him to do them,’ I say firmly. ‘Leave it to me.’

‘Becky.’ Bonnie blanches. ‘Please don’t, that’s not what I meant …’

‘Don’t worry,’ I say reassuringly. ‘I’ll be really subtle.’

Bonnie still looks troubled. ‘I don’t like you to be involved.’

‘But I am involved! I’m his wife! And I think it’s monstrous that he can’t be bothered to sign his own staff’s birthday cards. You know why it is?’ I add knowledgeably. ‘It’s because he doesn’t care about his own birthday, so he thinks no one else does too. It wouldn’t even occur to him that anyone cared.’

‘Ah.’ Bonnie nods slowly. ‘Yes. That makes sense.’

‘So, when’s the next company birthday? Who’s next on the list?’

‘Well, actually …’ Bonnie turns a little pink. ‘It’s my own birthday in two weeks’ time …’

‘Perfect! Well, I’ll make sure he’s signed the cards by then.’ A new thought strikes me. ‘And what’s he going to get you as a present? What did he get you for Christmas? Something really nice, I hope.’

‘Of course! He got me a lovely gift!’ Bonnie’s bright voice is a little forced. ‘This beautiful bracelet.’

She shakes her arm and a gold link bracelet falls down from under her sleeve. I stare at it, speechless. Luke bought her this?

I mean, it’s not a bad bracelet. But it’s so not Bonnie’s colouring or style, or anything. No wonder she’s hidden it up her sleeve. And she probably feels she has to wear it to work every day, poor thing.

Where did he get it anyway – totallyblandpresentsforyoursecretary.com? Why didn’t he ask me?

Things are becoming clearer to me. We need to coordinate, Bonnie and me. We need to work as a team.

‘Bonnie,’ I say thoughtfully. ‘Would you like to have a proper drink?’

‘Oh, no …’ she begins.

‘Come on,’ I say coaxingly. ‘Just one tiny glass of wine at lunchtime doesn’t make anyone unprofessional. And I promise I won’t mention it.’

‘Well,’ Bonnie relents, ‘perhaps I will have a small vermouth on the rocks.’

Yay! Go Bonnie!

By the time we’ve finished our salads and are sipping coffees, we’re both a million times more relaxed. I’ve made Bonnie laugh with stories of Luke doing yoga on honeymoon, and she’s told me about some previous boss trying the lotus position and having to go to Casualty. (She was too discreet to mention who it was. I’ll have to Google.) And most importantly, I’ve hatched my plan.

‘Bonnie,’ I begin as the waiter presents us with the bill and I swipe it before she can protest. ‘I just want to say again, I’m so grateful to you for helping me with the party.’

‘Really, it’s no trouble at all.’

‘And it’s made me realize something. We can help each other!’ My voice rises in enthusiasm. ‘We can pool our resources. Think what we can achieve if we work in partnership! Luke doesn’t need to know. It can be our own private arrangement.’

As soon as I say ‘private arrangement’, Bonnie looks a little uncomfortable.

‘Becky, it’s been very pleasant spending time with you,’ she begins. ‘And I do appreciate your wishing to help. However—’

‘So let’s keep in touch, OK?’ I interrupt. ‘Keep my number on speed-dial. And anything you want me to nudge Luke about, just let me know. Big or small. I’ll do whatever I can.’