Marry Me at Christmas

He hadn’t said anything to Ginger. He knew his sister was looking forward to having Madeline as part of her wedding. Somehow he would figure out an explanation—maybe when he understood what had happened.

Had he lost her because of who he was or because of who he wasn’t?

He settled on the sofa in the family room and stared at the tree they’d decorated together. What had gone so very wrong and how did he now fix it? Because being without Madeline wasn’t an option. The only question was how he convinced her to come back when he didn’t know why he’d lost her in the first place.

* * *

Right up until eight-fifteen in the evening, Madeline knew she’d made the right decision. Loving Jonny was just crazy talk. There were a thousand reasons they couldn’t make it work. Like how he... Well, there was...

He traveled, she thought at last. He was gone for weeks at a time. That would be hard. And he was famous. Everyone knew that famous people couldn’t commit.

“Talk about ridiculous,” she muttered. There had to be a better reason as to why she’d broken things off with him. Because if it wasn’t him, it was her.

But that didn’t make sense. She wanted to be in a relationship. She wanted to be in love. All her life she’d...

Messed up, she thought frantically. She’d failed. Made the wrong choice and had to backtrack to find her way again. She’d gone through multiple tries at finding the right career path. She’d had a string of failed relationships. While she’d finally found her dream job, she hadn’t found her dream man.

Only Jonny was perfect. Okay, not perfect, but right for her. He was everything she’d been looking for and more and she’d...she’d...

Completely and totally freaked out. She’d panicked. She’d realized she loved him, had assumed he couldn’t possibly love her back and had ended things before he could break her heart. Because what else was going to happen to an ordinary girl from Fool’s Gold?

She hadn’t given him a chance. Hadn’t been brave enough to share her feelings. Tell him she loved him. Maybe he was going to say, “Thanks but no thanks,” but maybe he wasn’t. And even if he was, didn’t she owe it to herself to hear it rather than just assume? Didn’t being a grown-up mean doing the mature thing?

Better late than never, she thought, then wondered what she was supposed to do now. She’d dumped him without telling him why. Without admitting her feelings. Not behavior to be proud of. So how did she fix that?

She stood up and looked around her small place, as if the answer was there. She grabbed her phone, then realized a phone call or text wouldn’t do. She had to face the man. Tell him the truth and then see what happened.

She got in her car and drove out to the ranch. Snow fell and she had trouble seeing where she was going, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. She’d already given up too many times. She’d reacted out of fear, and she wasn’t going to let that happen again.

She turned on the highway and kept her speed low. She fishtailed once, but steered into the skid, like her dad had taught her, and kept going. Her hands hurt from gripping the steering wheel, and despite the heater blasting hot air, she shivered in the cold.

What should have been a twenty-five-minute trip took over an hour, and when she finally pulled up in front of Jonny’s house, she was shaken and exhausted. Tears burned. Fear grew until she had trouble breathing. What if he didn’t love her? What if he couldn’t forgive her? What if—

Her car door opened from the outside. She stared up at Jonny.

“Madeline? What’s going on? I heard a car drive up. It’s practically a blizzard. You shouldn’t be driving. Are you okay?”

She flung herself at him. As she was wearing a seat belt, that didn’t go well. She had to unfasten it and fling herself a second time. She wrapped her arms around him and hung on.

“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’m so sorry. I was wrong. No, I was scared and wrong. I didn’t give you a chance. I never told you the truth. I love you and that terrifies me. What if you don’t love me back? What if you start dating Julia Roberts? Or Jennifer Lawrence? Or some other perfect star? What if—”

He pressed his fingers to her mouth to quiet her. “Shh,” he murmured. “Let’s get you inside.”

She pushed his fingers away. “No. You have to understand. I love you. I want to be with you. I was so afraid. I lashed out and ran. Technically I pushed you away, but you know what I mean. I’m sorry.”

He stared into her eyes for a long time. “I was scared, too,” he admitted. “Scared of losing again. So I hid behind what I did because it was easier than admitting the truth. Even when Ginger tried to tell me, I wouldn’t listen.”