Man and Maid

* * * * *

"To Sir Nicholas Thormonde, Bart, V.C.," (it began, and then) "Dear Sir: Circumstances force me to work--so I shall have to remain in your

service--if you require me. I am unfortunately quite defenceless, so I

appeal to whatever chivalry there is in you not to make it so impossible

that I must again give in my resignation.

Yours faithfully,

A. Sharp."

* * * * *

I fell back in my chair in an agony of emotion--My darling! My

queen!--whose very footprints I worship--to have had to write such a

letter--to me!

The unspeakable brute beast I felt! All my cynical calculations about

women fell from me--I saw myself as I had been all day--utterly

selfish--not really feeling for her grief, only making capital out of it

for my own benefit--. At that moment, and for the rest of the day and

night, I suffered every shade of self reproach and abasement a man can

feel. And next day I had to stay in bed because I had done some stupid

thing to my leg in lying down without help.

When I knew I could not get into Paris by Saturday when Alathea was to

come to the flat--I sent Burton in with a note to the shop in the Avenue

Mosart.

"Dear Miss Sharp--(I wrote) "I am deeply grateful for your magnanimity. I am utterly ashamed of my

weakness--and you will not have called upon my chivalry in vain, I

promise you.--I have to stay in bed, so I cannot be at the flat, and if

you receive this in time I shall be obliged if you will come out here

again on Saturday.

Yours very truly,

Nicholas Thormonde."

Then I never slept all night with thoughts of longing and wondering if

she would get it soon enough to come.

Over and over in my vision I saw the picture of her sitting there in

Burton's room sobbing--My action was the last straw--My shameful

action!--Burton showed the good taste and the sympathy and understanding

for her which I should have done--. And to think that she is troubled

about money, so that she had to take a loan from my dear old

servitor--far greater gentleman than I am--. And that I cannot be the

least use to her--and may not help her in any way! I can go on no longer

in this anguish--as soon as I feel that peace is in the smallest measure

restored between us--I will ask her to marry me, just so that I can give

her everything. I shall tell her that I expect nothing from her--only

the right to help her family and give her prosperity and peace--.