Man and Maid

What an irony everything is--! When I was yearning for tenderness and

love--, even Suzette's, I was unable to touch her, and now because I am

quite indifferent, both she and Nina, in their separate ways, have begun

to find me attractive. So there is nothing in it really, it is only as

to whether or no you arouse the hunting instinct!

Suzette wore an air of deep pathos during our repast--. She had put some

blue round her eyes to heighten the effect of the red of the real tears,

and she appeared very pretty and gentle--It had not the slightest effect

upon me--I found myself looking on like a third person. The mole with

its three black hairs seemed to be the only salient point about her.

Poor little Suzette!--How glad I felt that I had never even pretended a

scrap of love for her!

That astonishing sense of the fitness of things which so many of these

women possess, showed itself as the evening wore on--. Finding the

situation hopeless, Suzette accepted it, curbed the real emotion in

herself and played the game--She tried to amuse me--and then we

discussed plans for her future. A villa at Monte Carlo she decided at

last--A bijou of a place! which she knew of--. And when we parted at

about eleven o'clock everything was arranged satisfactorily. Then she

said good-bye to me--She would go back to Paris by the last train--.

"Good-bye, Suzette!"--and I bent down and kissed her forehead--"You have

been the jolliest little pal possible--and remember that I have

appreciated it,--and you will always have a real friend in me!"

She burst into tears once more--real tears--.

"Je t'aime bien!" she whispered--"I shall go to Deauville--Va!"

We wrung hands, and she went to the door, but there she turned, and some

of her old fire came back to her--.

"Pah! these English Meeses! thin, stiff, ennuyeuse!--thou wilt yet

regret thy Suzette, Nicholas!" and with this she left me.

* * * * *

So that episode in my life is ended--and I shall never repeat the

experiment.

But are not women the most amazing creatures!

You adore them and give them abject devotion and they treat you as

dirt--nothing can be so cruel as the tenderest hearted woman is to a

male slave--! Another woman appears upon the scene--then the first one

begins to treat you with some respect. You grow masterful--love is

aroused in her. You become indifferent--and very often it is she who

then turns into the slave!--The worst of it is that when you really care

you are incapable of playing a game successfully. The woman's

subconscious mind knows that it is merely pretense--and so she remains

a tyrant.--It is only when she herself has ceased to put forth

sufficient attraction to keep you and you are growing numb that you can

win out and find your self-respect again.