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Man and Maid

Page 49

"I don't seem to have learned anything--I believe I am rebellious all

the time--."

"Probably."

"Miss Sharp--you could really help me if you would. Please explain to

me--I will be a diligent pupil."

"Perhaps you were in a position of great power the last time, and were

lavish and kind to people in a way--or you would not be so rich now--but

you caused suffering and relied upon yourself, not on anything

divine--you must have caused much suffering, perhaps mentally even, and

so you had to be re-born and be wounded--to teach you the lesson of it

all;--that is called your Karma. Our Karma is what we bring on with us

from life to life in the way of obligations which we must discharge--so

you see it rests with each one of us not to lay up more debts to pay in

the future."

Her refined voice was level, as though she were controlling herself, not

to allow any personal feeling to enter her discourse--her gloved hands

were perfectly still in her lap--She was in profile to me so that I

could see that her very long eyelashes seemed to be rather pressed

against the glasses--I have not before been so close to her in a bright

light.--Why does she wear those damned spectacles? I was thinking, when

she said-"You find it hard to be confined to your chair and not to be able to

fight, don't you?--Well when you could fight it was not always the

pleasure of going over the top? You had to have times in the trenches

too, hadn't you--when you just had to bear it?"

"Of course--?"

"Well--you are in the trenches now, don't you see--and it is according

to how your soul learns the lesson of them, as to whether in this life

you will ever be allowed to go over the top again--or even to have

peace."

"What is the lesson?"

"I am not God--I cannot tell you--but we would all know what our lesson

to learn is, if we were not too vain to face the truth into ourselves."

"The aim being?"-"Why of course to improve character and learn strength."

"What qualities do you most admire in a person, Miss Sharp?"

"Self control and strength."

"You have no sympathy with weaklings?"

"None whatever--bad strong people are better than weak good ones."

I knew this was true. This fragile creature suggests infinite repose and

strength--what could she have done in a former life to bring her back in

such unkind surroundings, that she must spend her days in drudgery, so

that she has never even leisure to think?--I longed to ask her, but did

not dare.

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