Man and Maid

Miss Sharp is not influenced because I am or am not a cripple--If I were

as I was when I first put on my grenadier's uniform, I should still not

exist for her probably--she can see the worthless creature that I

am--Need I always be so?--I wish to God I knew.

* * * * *

Night.

She worked with her usual diligence the entire day almost, not taking

the least notice of me, until at five o'clock when my tea came I rang

for her--Perhaps it was the irritation reacting upon my sensitive

wrenched nerves, but I felt pretty rotten, my hands were damp--another

beastly unattractive thing, which as a rule does not happen to me--I

asked her to pour out the tea.

"If you will be so kind," I said--"I have let Burton go out"--Mercifully

this was true--she came in as a person would who knew you had a right to

command--you could not have said if she minded or no.

When she was near me I felt happier for some reason.

She asked me how I took my tea--and I told her--.

"Are you not going to have some with me?" I pleaded.

"Mine is already on my table in the next room--thank you"--and she rose.

In desperation I blurted out--.

"Please--do not go!--I don't know why, but I feel most awfully rotten

to-day."

She sat down again and poured out her cup.

"If you are suffering shall I read to you?" she said--"It might send you

to sleep--" and somehow I fancied that while her firm mouth never

softened, perhaps the eyes behind the horn spectacles might not be so

stony. And yet with it all something in me resented her pity, if she

felt any. Physical suffering produces some weaknesses which respond to

sympathy, and the spirit rages at the knowledge that one has given way.

I never felt so mad in all my year of hell that I cannot be a man and

fight--as I did at that moment.

A French friend of mine said--In English books people were always

having tea--handing cups of tea! Tea, tea--every chapter and every

scene--tea! There is a great deal of truth in it--tea seems to bring the

characters together--at tea time people talk, it is the excuse to call

at that hour of leisure. We are too active as a nation to meet at any

other time in the day, except for sport--So tea is our link and we shall

go down through the ages as tea fiends--because our novelists who

portray life accurately, chronicle that most of the thrilling scenes of

our lives pass among tea cups!--I ventured to say all this to Miss Sharp

by way of drawing her into conversation.