Mai Tai'd Up

“Better coming from you?” he asked, his voice quiet. The smile had twisted into a grimace.

“Yes. That I should be the one to tell you that I—”

“Left a guy at the altar,” he finished, his voice rough.

“Not technically, but . . . yeah. Yeah, I did.” I sighed, ashamed that I’d kept this from him for so long.

“So rather than tell me this, something that probably had a fairly logical explanation—I mean, people do break up all the time. I should know, right? But rather than tell me the truth, you let me go on about Julie and what she’d done to me?”

He kicked the covers off and rolled to his side of the bed, climbing out. Stabbing his legs into his jeans, he turned back to face me, anger blazing in his eyes. “I must look like such a fool to you.”

“What? No—God no, Lucas,” I said, shocked. I moved across the bed, kneeling up and reaching out to him. But he stood just out of arm’s reach. “It’s nothing like that. I—I—You’re—”

He stared at me, hard. He seemed to be weighing something. “I gotta go,” he said, eyes cold.

“What? No way! You have to stay; we have to talk about this,” I cried, jumping off the bed and grabbing his arm before he could walk away.

“There’s really nothing to talk about. You lied to me. I can’t go through that again. I can’t get involved with a girl who’s lied to me since the beginning. I’ve gone down that road before.”

“You think I’m the same as Julie?” I asked, horrified.

“Right now? I think you might be exactly the same as Julie—and I can’t get suckered into that again.”

He turned and left.

Chapter fourteen

The worst day ever was also the longest day ever, creeping by like frozen molasses. I spent the morning shoveling dog shit. I spent the better part of the afternoon on the phone with the local ASPCA, making sure that the dogs that were rescued from the ring yesterday were transferred to me once they were given the immediate medical care they needed and fully checked out. I’d need to call Lou in on this one too. I’d never handled this many dogs at once, and especially dogs that’d been bred for only one reason. Would they be able to be socialized? Would they be able to trust?

It didn’t matter. Whether or not they were ultimately adoptable, they’d come here and not be on chains, not be in the cold, not be expected to fight and snarl and shred . . . They would only be expected to chase balls and gobble treats. That, I could promise every one of them.

By lunchtime, there was no call from Lucas. I gave him the space he clearly wanted. Whether it would be a forever kind of space . . . well . . . I wasn’t thinking about that yet. I couldn’t think about that. I went back over our conversation this morning, remembering the pain in his eyes when he realized that I’d lied to him.

And when I thought back, there were plenty of times when I could have told him the truth. I could have told him why I walked away from my wedding, and how it was a different situation from the one with Julie. He would have understood—of course he could have understood that. Oh, I had played this one very very wrong.

So for now, I waited. He’d said he might call, but I was choosing not to remember the might. Because if I thought about him leaving tomorrow without seeing me again and talking to me again, I’d lose my mind.

The early afternoon became late afternoon. I’d eaten a quick lunch, perhaps lingering in the doorway to my bedroom for two or twenty minutes. The bed was still messed up, pillows on the floor, comforter twisted into a ball at the bottom, and a very large dent in the middle where two entwined bodies had left their impression. The room smelled like sex. Weird and gross? No, naughty and naughty . . .

Fudge.

Dusk fell, and I still hadn’t heard from Lucas. Should I call him? Should I bother him while he’s probably packing and saying good-bye to his family?

I sat at the counter, chain-eating pudding for dinner. After the pudding, I paced. Sammy Davis Jr. paced with me for a while, but eventually he realized Mommy was nutso and went back to his bed by the fireplace.

By ten o’clock I’d finally had enough of the silence, and I grabbed my phone. Before I could dial, it rang in my hand. It was Lucas.

“Hey!” I said, a bit too enthusiastically.

“Hey,” he answered back. His voice was curt. Chilly. My skin broke out into goose bumps.

“How was your day?” I asked. This man was inside you less than twenty-four hours ago, and you’re asking him how his day was?

“Productive. Got everything packed up, signed off on things at the clinic—which is the reason I called.”

“Oh?” I asked. Now he needed a reason for calling?

“I wanted to give you a heads-up about the fighting ring you discovered. It looks like charges of animal cruelty are being filed against the property owners. Since I’m leaving in the morning, the police came down today to ask me some questions, take some pictures, stuff like that. I didn’t want you to be surprised when they call you too.”

“Sure, okay,” I said. Then a thought occurred to me. “I’m not in trouble for trespassing or something, am I?”

“No, you totally did the right thing in calling them. But promise me next time you wait for the authorities to get there before you go barging into some barn filled with fighting dogs. You were very lucky last night.”

“I’ll say,” I replied softly. “I knew I should have waited, but—”