Loving Lawson
Page 17“I need you too,” she cried out, and her voice broke with emotion. “God, Heath, you’ve been my rock for months now. I know you feel what I feel. Please don’t ruin something good between us. She can’t be more important than this or us. She can’t give you what I have. She’s with your goddamn brother! And she’s got nothing on me when it comes to looks. Come on, agree on that much at least.”
Silence followed. I was biting my nails, anxiously awaiting his response. It was a difficult conversation to hear. He’d been neglecting her because of me and it made me feel awful, but at the same token I was pissed – and a little hurt – that she’d talk about me behind my back knowing so little about me.
Putting down the way I looked, to boot, stung.
“We had something good,” he finally said in a soft, compassionate voice. “Tru, you’re a great girl –”
“Oh, my God, you’re seriously doing this?” Her sobs erupted.
“Tru,” he said, “I’m sorry. Allie needs me.”
“Then let’s just continue what we have, and I won’t complain –”
“You deserve better than that, and I’ve already come to terms with letting this go. Try and be understanding of that. It’s not you. I promise you it’s not. But now I need my space and you need to find someone who’ll make you happy.”
I didn’t have to see her to know she was shocked. I mean, even I was shocked and I knew absolutely nothing about them except they screwed around.
“Wow,” I heard her whisper. “Just like that, huh? Well, you can shove your fucking excuses up your ass!”
I was a distraction to Heath and, as a result, I just broke a couple apart.
Eight
Allie
After my shower, I sat in the bedroom for a while. I hadn’t heard a peep from Heath, so I figured he was still stewing over what happened with Tru. I was glum. This was the last kind of thing I wanted to be for Heath: a hindrance that cost him someone he had some kind of arrangement with. Maybe I could have a word with him. Tell him to stop being so involved in me and go back to Tru and his life because I was painfully aware I’d taken him away from all of it. What if he eventually resented me for it?
A knock on the door disrupted my thoughts.
“Come in.”
The door opened, and Heath walked in carrying a tray. “Hey,” he said with a smile, setting the tray down on the bed next to me. I looked at its contents: orange juice, mushroom omelette, two strawberries and my pregnancy pill.
“What’s this?” I stupidly asked in surprise.
“It’s called food. We consume it when our bodies are low on energy,” he explained before chuckling at my scathing look.
He took a seat next to me, and the sudden weight on the mattress caused me to lean into his side. He sighed as he nudged me upright. “Because Trudy scared you off, and you’ve been bunkering in here like I’m going to rip your head off.”
I gaped at him in shock. God, was I so obvious? I didn’t respond straight away, suddenly distracted by him. I checked him out, because he was extremely close to me and it was hard not to admire a guy three times your size bringing a tray of breakfast to your bed. He was wearing another pair of faded jeans and a workout tank that said, “I flexed and the sleeves fell off.” I smiled at that, eyeing his protruding arms, idly noting the sleeves really would fall off.
“See something you like?” he said, wiggling his brows in jest.
I reddened and shook my head. “I was admiring your shirt.”
“Is that all?”
“Shut up.”
He laughed and jerked his head in the direction of the tray. “Well, stop ogling my shirt and eat up. Make that bump bigger.”
I grabbed the pill and gulped it down with some orange juice. Then I took one strawberry and nibbled on it, consciously aware he was watching me closely with a cheerful look on him. Nothing at all like his dark mood from before.
Staring down at my strawberry, I felt my cheeks heat as I admitted quietly, “I listened to your fight.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Why would that bother me? I’m sure everyone in the building heard her.”
“Yeah, I guess…” My voice trailed away before I looked at him solemnly. “She’s right, you know. I’m distracting you. You don’t seem to have much of a life outside of me now, and it bothers me a lot. I never wanted this to happen, Heath. I wanted you to continue living your life without my intrusion. You’ve done enough as it is.”
He didn’t reply straight away. Instead, he wistfully looked about the room, at all of Ryker’s stuff. I’d have given anything to know what he was thinking exactly. The longer the silence stretched on, the more I felt like I was right, and maybe he was about to agree.
“I’m not doing this just for you,” he finally said, levelling those warm brown eyes to mine. “I’m doing this because you’re carrying my family in that ridiculously tiny stomach of yours. When I commit myself to something, Allie, there’s no going back. I’ve committed myself to helping you, and there’s nothing in the world that’s going to stand in my way.”
“But Tru –”
“She means nothing to me,” he cut in swiftly, leaning his face down to me. “She had a rocking bod. We agreed on a sexual relationship. That’s it.”
“Friends with benefits, you mean?”
He laughed without humour. “We weren’t friends, Al. We were just… two lonely people living in the same complex with nothing to do some nights. I never told her I wanted more. Sometimes girls… they can’t separate sex with emotions, you know? I learned that the hard way. That’s not to say guys can’t either, but I’m only talking about my experience – and that definitely doesn’t involve guys.” When I laughed, he smirked at me. “I thought I’d found someone who was the same in Tru. But then the more I was with her, the more she started to talk, like really talk. It wasn’t just sex. It was suddenly conversation before sex and trying to cuddle after sex.”